Antidepressants function as mood stabilizers more than its intended function. It’s portrayed as this drug that people take to feel okay, but I don’t even feel okay when I’m on them, and I’ve tried far too many. If I answer truthfully when my provider asks how my depression is, they’ll add another medication to the list or replace what’s already there with something equally ineffectual. Still, if I lie or omit my feelings, then my visits won’t serve me in any way but to keep up a schedule. I’m just fed up with this routine. It’s not the medication; it’s me. Medication may take the edge off, but it’s not going to give me a reason to fight.