• Apologies for the issue with a bizarre redirect on the site earlier today. There was a large server update and an error in an IP address had the traffic routing wrongly. No hacking or anything nefarious and nothing to worry about. Sorry for any stress/anxiety caused. Very best wishes - SF Admin

My Dad Stole from my Savings

Roman sky

Well-Known Member
#1
So, When I was 8 my parents divorced. I had a savings account that both my parents set up and payed into, but it was in my Dads name. When I was 13, My Dad tried to move to the USA (I'm from the UK) but couldn't find work in time and had his visa withdrawn, meaning he came back and spent a few months homeless, sleeping on his sister's sofa. He later successfully moved to the USA and still lives there, having now adopted 3 Children with his wife

So, when I was about 15, Me and my Mum asked my dad about the savings account and how I could manage it when turning 16. He Acted quite combative and accused me of trying to leech money from him or something. he later said that he had lost the paperwork for it.

So I'm now 20, and my little brother is nearly 16 and so has asked my dad about his own savings account as well as mine. My dad admitted to him (he still hasn't said it to me, I had to find out from my brother) that he took the money from my savings without telling anyone. He claims to have used it to cover maintenance for me and my brother. He said he hasn't touched my brothers account as that account was in my brothers name so my dad couldn't withdraw from it.

My brother got a bit angry on my behalf, saying that my dad should pay me back now that he is in a high paying job. My dad basically ranted about how the whole savings scheme was a government scam, and said he would pay me back ONLY if I go to university before I'm 25.

I am absolutely furious. Not only did he decide to reveal this on my birthday, steal from me, has STILL NOT TOLD ME HIMSELF, and has tried to use it as a way to bribe me into doing something he thinks I should do (go to uni), but the main thing, the thing I'm so furious about, is that he had 7 years to tell me and has repeatedly lied to my face about it, and hasn't even apologised.

I've not spoken to him since I found out. We usually have a video call on my birthday but I dodged his call. what I'm wondering is whether I'm overreacting. I have Borderline Personality Disorder, and traits of Paranoid Personality Disorder which makes it easy for me to hold grudges unnecessarily. I haven't spoken to him because I know that I will end up saying any horrible thing I can think of to him and if I see him in person I'd hit him. I'm red hot with anger and also so depressed because I feel so betrayed, like as if he couldn't sink any lower.

Am I Overreacting? Am I right to feel this angry and betrayed and to never speak to him again which is what I feel like?. I just cant believe he would lie to me like this and not even apologise. but I'm aware that I overreact alot and cant control my emotions so if I am then maybe someone telling me would help, I dont know

Sorry for the Long Speech, there was just alot of background that needed establishing. Any help would be appreciated loads
 

Paisley

* * *
SF Artist
SF Supporter
#2
Yeah... you have every right to be angry. I don't even think you're overreacting.

Does he not legally owe you that money? I don't believe he's in any position to be making ultimatums. He stole from his child.
 

Champagne

✯✯ Heart of an angel ✯✯
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#3
No, you're not over reacting. 7 years is a long time, he should have come clean 7 years ago and started paying back into it then IMHO. *hug keep venting, it might help. I understand your angry and you have every right to be angry with him.
 

Walker

Admin
SF Social Media
SF Author
SF Supporter
#4
Hi, I'm sorry that your dad stole this money from you when he was in a bad place. I definitely think he should pay it back to you. That's really crap.
So I think you should cease a relationship with your father over money though? Absolutely not. You're saying yourself that he was in a bad place financially at the time we assume he took this money out so he clearly saw no other avenue for it. I would think that not taking responsibility for it now would piss me off at least as much as the money being gone. Don't lose a lifetime of your father over a few thousand quid okay?
 

Aurelia

I'm. Not. Like. You. I. Just. Fuck. Up.
#5
I think you can freely agree to go to university whenever he wants you to just to make him pay it back, and then still do whatever you want, no? But yes, I do think you have a right to be angry about it. If it was me, I'd feel like he did it because I clearly must not have mattered to him as much as moving to the US and his new family, which is probably what he spent it on.
 

Please Donate to Help Keep SF Running

Total amount
$180.00
Goal
$255.00
Top