Because I love life. I have goals and I wont want to give up. Also for my younger brother, I can't imagine what my death would do to him...and my family and friends.
People. Which is ironic seeing as I always moan about 'people' destroying me. But people are beautiful and there may be a time when I get to know a few properly. Maybe, if I get my head together.
people like my counsellor in 2006. people who can look at what's in this world and do their very best to stop violence.
people who have a sense of outrage like my present therapist and previous counsellor.
without them i'd be dead.
she helped me scream and speak. they both do that.
those kind of people.
not people who like to cover up things. and then call me 'psychotic' when i am in pain and can't deal with their silencing and lack of self awareness and violence that they put on other people and say it's MY FAULT for fighting back and highlighting what they can't or don't want to see.
that and anything that brings to light those things,
art, although i hate the word art and artist.
To see my son again. I have not seen him in 3 years (long story) mostly due to bipolar. Even cruel intentions/individuals cannot break the bond of a mother to her child.
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