Venting No future

[ChimeraMonster]

It's not that I only don't think I have a future. I can't imagine a future that works. Everything I see a few years from now is... Bleak. I see people making plans and looking forward and I envy them. I envy the fact that they have the opportunity and strength and the capability of wishing for something for themselves. I can't do any of them, and it makes me bitter I know that.
I know the possibilities and probabilities for my life. I know myself well enough. Unless a miracle happens... It hurts thinking about it.
I'm seeing my life slowing trapping on a corner, with the only escape being the abyss. I mourn myself and I mourn what will never be. And this is painful because no one around me understands this silent despair.
For now I'm living day by day, trying to not see the obvious wall I'm going to crash against, and wishing with everything I have, that life or my body just gives up on me once for all.
I hope I won't wake up tomorrow. After all, It's all meaningless anyway.

I hope one day I have enough strength to do it myself, I don't want to suffer more, I don't want to break myself more. To see my soul shatter in more pieces. I don't want to lose the bit of myself I still have.

 

[1964dodge]

It's not that I only don't think I have a future. I can't imagine a future that works. Everything I see a few years from now is... Bleak. I see people making plans and looking forward and I envy them. I envy the fact that they have the opportunity and strength and the capability of wishing for something for themselves. I can't do any of them, and it makes me bitter I know that.
I know the possibilities and probabilities for my life. I know myself well enough. Unless a miracle happens... It hurts thinking about it.
I'm seeing my life slowing trapping on a corner, with the only escape being the abyss. I mourn myself and I mourn what will never be. And this is painful because no one around me understands this silent despair.
For now I'm living day by day, trying to not see the obvious wall I'm going to crash against, and wishing with everything I have, that life or my body just gives up on me once for all.
I hope I won't wake up tomorrow. After all, It's all meaningless anyway.

I hope one day I have enough strength to do it myself, I don't want to suffer more, I don't want to break myself more. To see my soul shatter in more pieces. I don't want to lose the bit of myself I still have.

i don't know how old you are, young and just starting out or old and struggling. no matter your age your future isn't written. i'm 67 and have had to struggle since i was born. but i did fight for solutions and looked for joy wherever i could find it, even a little joy helps so please keep fighting

mike......

 

[may71]

I hope there's a way that you can live and life will turn out better than you think it will.

Hugs Chi

 

[Survivorist]

Hi there and welcome. You write under your picture "You're special, sweet child". Of what I read, you feel that you do not have a future, everything is dark, you do not want to wake up, you cannot and want not to decide anything.... I suppose, you are still very young. As 1964dodge I can tell you out of experience - all of us suffer for a certain time, some there whole life - but there are as well good times and things waiting. I fought as well all my life and I am a lot older than you - but I made it. I still fight. So, do not give up so easily - that is not the sense. You still can reach so much - you do not know yet. I think, each person has at least two or three possibilities during their life to find purpose, sense, love and enough to live.

To remind you of your own words:

 

[nicktheundoer]

It's not that I only don't think I have a future. I can't imagine a future that works. Everything I see a few years from now is... Bleak. I see people making plans and looking forward and I envy them. I envy the fact that they have the opportunity and strength and the capability of wishing for something for themselves. I can't do any of them, and it makes me bitter I know that.
I know the possibilities and probabilities for my life. I know myself well enough. Unless a miracle happens... It hurts thinking about it.
I'm seeing my life slowing trapping on a corner, with the only escape being the abyss. I mourn myself and I mourn what will never be. And this is painful because no one around me understands this silent despair.
For now I'm living day by day, trying to not see the obvious wall I'm going to crash against, and wishing with everything I have, that life or my body just gives up on me once for all.
I hope I won't wake up tomorrow. After all, It's all meaningless anyway.

I hope one day I have enough strength to do it myself, I don't want to suffer more, I don't want to break myself more. To see my soul shatter in more pieces. I don't want to lose the bit of myself I still have.

I know how you feel..I used to feel the same way..so heartwrenching..I think,instead you could feel happy for the people who achieve success..ryt? You'll be happy too in that case..I do hope the best for you..Stay strong,friend...hugssss🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂

 

[ChimeraMonster]

I guess I'm young, I'm 27f, but still, I don't see the point of it. I don't see why I should go on when I feel so trapped and useless and lonely. No one around me understands what it feels like. I want to be free of life's burdens. I'm tired of shouldering it alone. I'm tired of crawling out of life's way. Of trying to not be so dependent on others.
I... I am lost. And I'm tired of these social games. Trying to look like I'm a normal person when I'm completely useless human.

 

[ChimeraMonster]

Must be fun being someone who actually likes being alive.

 

[1964dodge]

Must be fun being someone who actually likes being alive.

right now i want to live. most people here were looking for a peaceful end of suffering me included. the road to recovery is a long journey with many twists and turns.

i, like many others had to fight for months and more likely years. when a person has no hope and is helpless and percieves themself a burden has little reason to live. what we don't see is what the future holds. there is a strong possibility your life could be better, i won't say for sure but a very good possibility. if you'd like details how i got better let me know and you can inbox me, i will tell you the truth the good and the ugly.

one thing to consider is almost everyone here was ready to commit suicide and they got better, a little better or a lot. some really bad off so i'd say the odds are in your favor to get better

mike...