Jolene as someone who has been to the depths of hell with what life has thrown at me . You must not give up on yourself never ever. Please start looking after yourself, because it is essential ! There are people on here who keep fighting on they have hope which is great . life changes , good things do happen in time , . Your are going threw a neg time at the moment ,but that neg cannot last forever. What goes down must go up, nighttime must turn to day etc . It’s good you are in therapy , I had therapy for 5 years, yes that’s how bad I was , and it did help me a lot . So keep that up , and please try and talk to your doctor about what you are going threw , it will be a weight lifted off your shoulders. And do not be afraid t9 take meds if your doc offers them .
Not good enough
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Thank you. I've been like this for two years. Ad the worst part came a few monts ago. Some good things started to happen but then... Everything went dark again. Those things were taken from me, it was like life was teasing me, showing me what could I have and then taking it from me. Before that I was deppressed and wanting to die, now this is even worst.
I know you have suffered a loss Jolene , but Things will work out for you , it’s a big world out there , lots of things to try , life is always changing , revolving , And you can adapt to change and improve your life and make it even better . Don’t ever dwell on a setback , this is your break threw moment now , to go up. Their are thousands of people who have had losses in life , think of people who lose their jobs after 30 years , and people who lose their parents due to death , then their are people who lose their health . So much loss. When this happens acceptance , is so important , but I also believe total self compassion, and trying new things in life , can bring some healing , the question is do you want to be better, because you can , but you will have to keep up your counselling, believe in yourself, and see the bigger picture when it comes to life. You have to try out new things that life has to offer ,and you will find your self worth and happiness . I hope I have helped somehow, the biggest prob is that we don’t take action with trying all the good things life has to offer , and then we wonder why we are in so much pain ,
Thank you.
Yes, I understand your point. But... I have lost too much things... Health, my father, chances, love... And above all, I have lost every "battle" I've fight for. Everything I really wanted and needed and tried to get... I never got anything. And this is going to be like this forever, this is why I want to die. I tried new things and they only made everything worse (sometimes, as I told, after showing me a little light just for have been taken from me then). Not having anything that I want and need, since always and forever... It's a torture. And the last two years and, above all, the last months, have been really awful about that. This is why sometimes I believe that hell exists, I have already killed myself and I'm there. That or I'm the worst person in the Earth to deserve all this pain
Yes, I understand your point. But... I have lost too much things... Health, my father, chances, love... And above all, I have lost every "battle" I've fight for. Everything I really wanted and needed and tried to get... I never got anything. And this is going to be like this forever, this is why I want to die. I tried new things and they only made everything worse (sometimes, as I told, after showing me a little light just for have been taken from me then). Not having anything that I want and need, since always and forever... It's a torture. And the last two years and, above all, the last months, have been really awful about that. This is why sometimes I believe that hell exists, I have already killed myself and I'm there. That or I'm the worst person in the Earth to deserve all this pain
Just wanted to say I'm so sorry life has been so tough for you. You don't deserve to be in pain @Jolene. 
Hi Jolene I was reading threw your losses , and I have experianced those that you have mentioned. I have failed loads at things , and experienced losses ,death in the family etc but ive carried on ,despite the anxiety ,depression, and all the pain , we are going to have probs in life and sometimes it’s not the problem , but how you react to the problem . Attitude pays a huge part . Believe me their are ways to find happiness, you just have to look for things to do .I’ve had twenty years of depression, their are things I want in life , that ile probably never have , but I have to be grateful for what I have now . I’m learning to accept myself more , and trying not to live up to this ideal perfectionist, because , that is just to much for most people . Remember you are good enough , and if you think your not , who told you you were not good enough because whoever did was WRONG . What matters is what you think of yourself. Never forget that .
Thank you.
Well, nobody told me that I'm not good enough, but I see it everyday when I can't get anything that I want and need. I'm not the person I should be to get these things. A whole life of losing is too painful, I don't want this anymore... I'm not asking for anything big, but it doesn't matter, whatever I want, I can't get it or is taken from me. It just hurts too much
Well, nobody told me that I'm not good enough, but I see it everyday when I can't get anything that I want and need. I'm not the person I should be to get these things. A whole life of losing is too painful, I don't want this anymore... I'm not asking for anything big, but it doesn't matter, whatever I want, I can't get it or is taken from me. It just hurts too much
Thank you Lara. But...last times that life gave me something good (not so long ago), it was taken from me again and leaving me worse than before. It's a torture. At least a year ago I hadn't seen the little light, now I had and it led me to a worse darkness again when I couldn't get what I need. It hurts too much, is like life telling me "look, you could have this and be happy, taste it...ohhh your trial period expired, go back to the dark". This is going to be like this forever and I rather be dead
I'm exhausted. I can't keep going. Love kills me, or I wish it do it for real. Can't stop losing everything and I can't continue this life of pain. I've lived enough in this situation (my whole life, almost, but specially the last two years) and I rather be dead than keep living this neverending nightmare
Jolene, no ones life should revolve around just one person. And, you can stop living this life of pain, if you would open yourself up to others. It's time to move on. You're exhausted from reliving a never ending loop of the past. Everyday is different. And, time doesn't wait for no one. You get a new chance every day. It's up to you to decide if you want it.
Yes and no. Not "in a relationship" just because. But if I'm in love with someone, I want to be with that person and if I'm not, I suffer.
And for me yes, love is important, one of my impossible dreams (because I'll never get it) was getting married, having a good relationship. My therapist says that this is not a bad aim, aspiring to have a good and functional relationship is a valid lifegoal. But I will never have the chance. And if I didn't have feelings for someone this wouldn't hurt so much but I do and it is killing me
And for me yes, love is important, one of my impossible dreams (because I'll never get it) was getting married, having a good relationship. My therapist says that this is not a bad aim, aspiring to have a good and functional relationship is a valid lifegoal. But I will never have the chance. And if I didn't have feelings for someone this wouldn't hurt so much but I do and it is killing me
Jolene, you're infatuated with someone you can't have. I think we all have wished we could have stayed with someone or dated someone we couldn't have. But, that doesn't stop us from going forward. You're missing out on life by holding on to something that was. You need to break that cycle that your mind is playing. Life is too short.
Look around you here Jolene and see all the people who are suffering, and also how they support and help each other. There are many times I'm sure that a kind word of encouragement from someone who understands makes a big difference. For someone in the depths, just knowing they are not alone can mean everything. Love is a free gift we give to others, which will wither away and die if not shared.
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