first i mean no disrespect to anyone trans . i don't understand completely why a person wants to be trans but from my time here on SF i understand more. i do realize it is a very personal decision that requires a lot of effort and sometime trauma. i also found out it makes people very happy and live with a lot less stress when complete.
what a person has for personal equipment doesn't really matter what really matters is the personalty inside. i am no expert by any means but i understand how it can help some people. i don't bring up conversations wth people that are trans but i'm always willing to discuss or listen. as far as i'm concerned you are a person period, a very good and kind person.
I really appreciate you saying that, Mike. I think ultimately, that's all most trans people want, we just want people to see us for the person we are, regardless of what our parts are or were. I honestly think the world would be infinitely safer and easier for people like us if everyone could think like you about it.
And for what it's worth, i think you're a very good and kind person yourself.
when you are feeling good maybe you could try to see if she wants a relationship with you irl. i hope you can be successful but either way you offered the olive branch and it's up to her to take it or not. i'm hoping it works out for you
And i appreciate you acknowledging that whether or not it succeeds, i tried, and that matters. Cos i also spoke to my dad about it between these posts, and he said the thing i'm so fed up of hearing: "I just want you both to get on, you should try again." I'm tired of people saying that, cos it feels like it's putting the responsibility solely on me, like i can make the relationship work whether or not she's even trying.
You said the one thing i want to be added to that statement - an acknowledgment that it's not my fault if it isn't working, it's not that i just didn't try hard enough and "need to try again", like i'm Sisyphus pushing that bloody boulder up the hill. I'm sick of people's good intentions making them inadvertently blame me for the failure of a relationship
she keeps sabotaging. So sincerely, thank you for expressing the good sentiment they mean to, without putting it all on me. ❤️
i'm sorry about your sister. i have a brother i didn't speak to for 20 years and i didn't care if he was dead or alive. late last year i looked him up and met him. he was supposed to call me to meet up my way. he never called and that was almost 9 months ago, i will never do it again.
Yeah, that's the funny thing, i'd barely thought about her for years. Then one night, as i was getting ready to move to uni, she clearly got absolutely hammered, and hit me up with this verbal diarrhoea about how mum's ashes weren't at rest, and their relationship was so complicated, and "Why aren't we close now? We used to be close. 😭" And now i knew that apparently she did want a relationship with me this whole time, she'd just done bugger all to maintain it, or repair it. And i've been annoyed about it any time i think of her since.
As i say, like you, i eventually got it in my head to try and give salvaging it a go, but then i stopped policing my words for a single moment, made one totally innocent comment, and that seems to be the end of that. And now i never want to try that again, i want to leave her be unless she actually tries. And some stupid bit of me thought that with this, maybe she would. But i guess not.
I'm sorry that you had a similar experience with your brother. I'm intimately familiar how frustrating that feeling is, when their being family drives you to want that connection with them, but they just make it feel impossible. I hope he doesn't weigh too heavily on your mind still.
