At about 5:30, my dad told me he was gonna head over to granddad's for a while, with much chagrin. Apparently my uncle had called him very stressed that granddad's prostate cancer has come back. So dad needed to go over, comfort granddad, and try to make sense of it. I offered to come along, hoping my presence would be helpful, for dad as much as granddad. Dad agreed, so a while later, off we went. We got there and it turned out to be another false alarm, granddad misunderstood what he was being told again. The paperwork had stated what his original PSA was when he first got the cancer diagnosis, and he'd mistakenly thought it was the result of his recent PSA test, which was actually very low, it shows the cancer hasn't come back. We managed to explain it to him, and he seemed to get that he was ok, but the dementia is clearly getting worse. He just got totally lost mid-sentence a lot, and we went around in several circles helping him understand what was happening.
We spent the entire journey home discussing that this can't go on much longer. He's obviously struggling to manage things on his own, even though he's a proud man who values his independence. It sounds like dad's coming around to my way of thinking more and more. He was making a lot of "you're absolutely right" and "well, exactly that" type comments, and saying i saw already what he's seeing now. It at least seems like my attendance succeeded in its goals. It gave dad an outlet to process, and made it easier for him to deal with, granddad seemed delighted to have both of us pop by to check on him during his cancer scare, and at one point, he mentioned "You look good, Tommy. You seem happy, you don't look depressed any more."
I hope it doesn't sound narcissistic or self-absorbed, but he's been so invested in my life for such a long time, making so many comments about how he just wants me to be happy, that he's so glad when things in my life go well. So i really wanted to make sure that he saw that i finally truly am, while there's still a real possibility he'll remember it. I like the thought that he can at least face the end knowing that his beloved, departed daughter's "son" is finally happy and right with the world. One less thing he has to worry about, yknow?