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post your major complaint here
- Thread starter 1964dodge
- Start date
There isn’t a single aspect of my life that hasn’t gone catastrophically wrong.
My romantic life: my wife died.
My social life: all my friends either died or moved away and I have nobody left.
My family life: I’m distant from all of them, and am watching my dad die from cancer.
My professional life: I am on disability and no longer able to work.
My health: I’ve already had a heart attack and stroke, have the likelihood of more of the same hanging over my head, and am now physically disabled.
I’m hurting and I don’t know how to talk about it or what to do. I want to beg for help, but there’s nobody to ask and nothing they could do if there was.
My romantic life: my wife died.
My social life: all my friends either died or moved away and I have nobody left.
My family life: I’m distant from all of them, and am watching my dad die from cancer.
My professional life: I am on disability and no longer able to work.
My health: I’ve already had a heart attack and stroke, have the likelihood of more of the same hanging over my head, and am now physically disabled.
I’m hurting and I don’t know how to talk about it or what to do. I want to beg for help, but there’s nobody to ask and nothing they could do if there was.
Last weekend in the NE USA we had a two day snowstorm. Actually on Sunday what came down was rain on top of the snow I got the driveway cleared out and it did not appear that there was a need for the city plow to plow the slushy streets.Sure enough at 8:30pm or so the city plow came down the street and pushed the slush back into the driveway to about 4-6 inches. The temp plummeted to single digits that night (Fahrenheit) and now I have a 4-6 inch wall of ice to climb over to enter or leave the driveway. I tried today to break it up but after the cold week we've had, it's bound to stay. Oh well, summer comes in 4 months.
i'm sorry that you are hurting so much right now. sometimes we have to just try to live our life the best we can no matter how bad things are. sometimes it helps to try to make compromises like lying to our brain.
an example is on the thread of how you feel 1 - 10. i take how i do on average and call it 5 and if i'm doing better the # gets lower. if i take how i'm really doing i'd be between 7 % 10 all of the time because of chronic pain/illnesses and sometimes mental health issues. it doesn't always work but usually i can make it work. it relies on me magnifying the good which of course is lying to my brain. not sure if it could work for you just leting you know how i cope
mike.....
an example is on the thread of how you feel 1 - 10. i take how i do on average and call it 5 and if i'm doing better the # gets lower. if i take how i'm really doing i'd be between 7 % 10 all of the time because of chronic pain/illnesses and sometimes mental health issues. it doesn't always work but usually i can make it work. it relies on me magnifying the good which of course is lying to my brain. not sure if it could work for you just leting you know how i cope
mike.....
if my car breaks down i can fix it or trade it in, if my tv bites the dust i can get a new one, but my body is breaking down why can't i trade it in for a new one, or a slightly used example lol. i am starting to get artgritis in my hands. it's nothing bad compared to my chronic leg and back pain but just annoying, ok what's going to break next . i hate being old lol. i admit i never thought i would live this long. according to one of those surveys i took i have to live until 76 and 4 months. maybe i can buy some duct tape to hold my body together, duct tape can fix anything lol
mike
mike
People on this board. There are a few I’ve spoken to recently who will think this is directed at/about them. It’s not.
Things aren’t gonna get better for you If you don’t stop your harmful behavior. Things aren’t going to get better if you don’t put in effort. Things aren’t going to get better if you keep making excuses. If people could direct you toward the right book, or the right practices; if there was some magical cure out there, depression and mental illness would not be as serious as they are.
If all you want to do is bitch and moan without ever taking any accountability, fine. Things will never get better for you, but fine. But there are places for that right here on this board; don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to and don’t be a dick to those who answer.
The people who keep trying are the ones who get better. The ones who say “this therapist isn’t working, how do I find another?” The people who say “I can’t do this, how do I adapt?” The people who make excuses are the ones who die depressed.
Your life sucks because you are wallowing in depression, your life sucks because you act like an utter asshole, and it will never get better until you change your attitude.
Things aren’t gonna get better for you If you don’t stop your harmful behavior. Things aren’t going to get better if you don’t put in effort. Things aren’t going to get better if you keep making excuses. If people could direct you toward the right book, or the right practices; if there was some magical cure out there, depression and mental illness would not be as serious as they are.
If all you want to do is bitch and moan without ever taking any accountability, fine. Things will never get better for you, but fine. But there are places for that right here on this board; don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to and don’t be a dick to those who answer.
The people who keep trying are the ones who get better. The ones who say “this therapist isn’t working, how do I find another?” The people who say “I can’t do this, how do I adapt?” The people who make excuses are the ones who die depressed.
Your life sucks because you are wallowing in depression, your life sucks because you act like an utter asshole, and it will never get better until you change your attitude.
This is something I see a lot in my work in mental health, but I have so much trouble expressing it without feeling like I'm telling people to "pull themselves up by their bootstraps" or something. And unfortunately, in my role at my job, I don't have the right relationship with people I help that it would really be appropriate for me to try to get it across to them. But realizing that I need to take accountability is probably what has been the most helpful for me in my own mental health recovery, especially once my psychiatrist as well as a doctor I met in the hospital were real with me and helped me realize that I was getting in the way of my own goals.
I'm all about accountability and I agree coddling someone certainly does a disservice to them but let it be noted that trauma does change the brain. I can attest to that from personal experience. Read up on it for further info if interested. Sometimes it's necessary to meet people where they are at in the moment (excuse the poor grammar).
Some will wallow in self pity/destructive patterns for longer than others until they finally get off their ass and mix things up for a positive change.
I'll even go as far to say everyone on here has done it to one extent or another. A fine line exists. That being said, I think everyone should seek assistance to improve their mental health. Likewise, I have seen too many young people's parent's buy into 'oh they are depressed and unable to do xyz' then foot the bill for their existence including non essential items ie world travel, cars, shopping, when they are perfectly capable of contributing. The problem just extends well into adulthood.
Some will wallow in self pity/destructive patterns for longer than others until they finally get off their ass and mix things up for a positive change.
I'll even go as far to say everyone on here has done it to one extent or another. A fine line exists. That being said, I think everyone should seek assistance to improve their mental health. Likewise, I have seen too many young people's parent's buy into 'oh they are depressed and unable to do xyz' then foot the bill for their existence including non essential items ie world travel, cars, shopping, when they are perfectly capable of contributing. The problem just extends well into adulthood.
I don't like living here.
I miss having my own place. I miss having my peace. I miss not feeling anxious, ever. I miss doing anything I want, and it's not like I do anything bad anyway, just some mundane crap really. I miss sleeping and waking up whenever I want, as long as I feel like I have enough sleep. I miss buying crap I want. I miss eating anything I want. I even miss having a mental breakdown alone, waiting for me to calm down, then go on with my days as usual because I've let it all out, alone, nobody was seeing it. And at the time, nobody cared anyways, but really, it was so so so much better.
I also miss going wherever I want, even if it was just some random place that I only visited for like 10 minutes and then went back home. I miss rotting in bed and not having anyone giving me shit about it.
I miss having my own place. I miss having my peace. I miss not feeling anxious, ever. I miss doing anything I want, and it's not like I do anything bad anyway, just some mundane crap really. I miss sleeping and waking up whenever I want, as long as I feel like I have enough sleep. I miss buying crap I want. I miss eating anything I want. I even miss having a mental breakdown alone, waiting for me to calm down, then go on with my days as usual because I've let it all out, alone, nobody was seeing it. And at the time, nobody cared anyways, but really, it was so so so much better.
I also miss going wherever I want, even if it was just some random place that I only visited for like 10 minutes and then went back home. I miss rotting in bed and not having anyone giving me shit about it.
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Being unable to receive psychotherapy and/or neurodivergent diagnosis, because I don't have money, and free options so far fall through. Probably not being too find a job because of neurodivergent problems as well. Idiotic loop as hell. Here's hope it won't cost me life literally (not sure how much I'm really in danger of this, too many unknown variables, in many variants it may turn out that I'm just overpanicking. But I really don't know...)