For as long as I can remember, I have always had people who would call me a "friend" but would never act like they wanted to be my friend. I often hear/see these people go out together and have great times, but I'm always looking from the outside and never because I'm apart of it. I would be if they wanted. There was one person who I really felt like I could connect to though, she was kind, funny, honest, we had similar interests and tastes, and after months of us getting closer and closer, I eventually found myself falling for her. after weeks of coming to terms with my feelings for her, I told her how I felt. While she did reject my feelings in the kindest way possible by simply saying how she doesn't feel the same way, then trying to change the subject to cheer me up and continue the friendship we do have, it doesn't change the fact that no matter what I do, I get rejected on all fronts, whether it's by "friends" or by the people I fall for. I have never had a relationship and so I thought this might be it, the time when I could finally find someone who would love me back. She is still friendly with me and we still often have a laugh together, but it doesn't matter, because it's always me that initiates every conversation with her, or anyone else. I still love her, but she, and no-one else, seems to ever want to talk to me. Through loving her, I feel lonelier than ever.