Soldier me...

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Blxrryface, Oct 10, 2016.

  1. Blxrryface

    Blxrryface New Member

    It's my first time to write on here but here goes..

    I know I'm still young to be entering relationships but its teenage life isn't it?

    I'm in a relationship at the moment, and things have been going pretty nice between me and him. We were happy and both of us have high grades in class, he's top 1 and I'm top 2. Most people say we're "Relationship Goals" and yeah I'm proud of that.

    But lately, we've been fighting a lot and it's really unhealthy for our relationship. We argue for small things but this time it's not going so well. Lately, he's been really cold, but he's not really the showy type, others say he loves me very much and he does say it. But I'm really confused, he's been chatting up his ex and never told me, I know because we gave eachother passwords to our accounts but I don't understand why he would chat that girl up and tell her he misses her? Does he want her back? Then I asked him 3 days ago if he still loves me...(I'm paranoid because of my past experiences and he's an attractive guy so a lot of girls flirt with him but he doesn't flirt back anyway) I just wanted a little sweet talk from him since I was feeling kinda down because of other issues but instead, I got the worst response ever. He got mad and told me if I have someone else, I should go with that guy. He asked me to leave. He was so mad. I kept on apologizing but he won't accept it. It's already been 3 days! He told me to not ask those kinds of questions because he said I already know what he would answer. Other guy classmates told me that he's unhealthy for me because I have not been eating well and not participatinh in class anymore and always breakdown.Another told me that I'm a queen, not a soldier but I didn't care. I am one of the pretty girls in school so a lot of guys like me but I fell for that guy, the one guy who only cared on the start. Even tho I am one of the pretty girls, I still have anxiety and I have no self-confidence because I'm a bit chubby and curvy.

    I've been so depressed lately because I didn't want to be in bad terms with him. He's my only close/best friend in the room, he's the only one I could go to. no one else but him. He's my safe place. I didn't want to end this relationship even though others say I should.

    I blame myself because I asked that stupid question. All of that turned our happy to angry. I keep fighting for him, I kept on apologizing and saying how much i love him and that I'm afraid to lose him.

    I broke down in the classroom earlier and instead of him comforting me, he got really mad and told me stop already. Is it my fault for being such a crybaby? I couldn't hold it in because I'm sensitive and even the smallest bit of hurt, I cry. I cry all the time and I hate it. I hate being sensitive and I hate being such a crybaby. It just makes him angrier.

    Today, we didn't went home together for the first time, he pushed me away so I went home alone. I cooked him some spaghetti but he didn't accept it, I kept on saying sorry but he won't even look at me and he blocked me and I'm so depressed that I'm not even planning to go to school tomorrow because I feel miserable, even my teachers are concerned because I've been so off lately. I don't want anyone to see me miserable, with huge eyebags from crying so much and a pale face. I just wanna lock myself up and avoid people. Should I keep on fighting like a soldier fights for his country?
     
  2. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Sorry this is happening to you, love has a price to pay. Yes solider on and keep focusing on school as if he is treating you like crap perhaps its time to put some space between both of you and focus on school work as boys are not worth the education you are missing out on.

    When he is mature enough to come around and discuss whats up between both of you like mature adults do then perhaps you can make a rational decision from that point and go from there. For the time being shift that power you have within to be emotional into focus and displine in schoolwork.