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Suicidal Thoughts - Are you Feeling Suicidal Today?
- Thread starter Petal
- Start date
Your wife may be trying to create the illusion that everything is going well. I think the chances are that things are going to fall apart with this guy that she's had move in. It's just a matter of time, imho.
Your kids are going to want to see you and will need you, but it may take time for that to come together.
Your kids are going to want to see you and will need you, but it may take time for that to come together.
I’m trying not to think about it. Seems like I am not bothered when I am otherwise occupied. When I sit down then my thoughts attack me. I am trying to accept where I am now. I feel like I need to do something about this. I don’t want to be mired in constant self-doubt and pessimism anymore. I have only the faintest clue of how to do this, though.
That is called intrusive thoughts, Lumberjack, when your own mind is attacking you because you are so mentally ill even your own mind is trying to kill you. The only way to deal with I know of? Keep busy with things which make you happy if possible, or least make it feel worthwhile. Then do your best to manage wake up and going to sleep times. Hopefully, given time? Your mind and body should adjust.
As for me? I can't just keep going for family. There has to be more than this. But I don't have that...
As for me? I can't just keep going for family. There has to be more than this. But I don't have that...
Yes, I am.
On the scale, I'm 7. The prospect of continuing with this depression, of waking up one more morning, seems overwhelming.
BUT
I'm committed to not acting on the ideations. I'm not ready to be the reason I don't wake up. For at least today. That creates tension and frustration inside, and the conflict of wanting to vs. the not wanting to.
Maybe this analogy works, if depression was a physical foe, it would have been struck me and knocked me down, and we're wrestling on the ground. I can't defeat depression so completely that it will never bother me again. But I'm determined to not let it have enough control to completely defeat me. Maybe the best I can do is to say "fuck it, I'm hurting like hell, but today's not the day I surrender"
I'll probably listen to this song a couple of times today
peace
On the scale, I'm 7. The prospect of continuing with this depression, of waking up one more morning, seems overwhelming.
BUT
I'm committed to not acting on the ideations. I'm not ready to be the reason I don't wake up. For at least today. That creates tension and frustration inside, and the conflict of wanting to vs. the not wanting to.
Maybe this analogy works, if depression was a physical foe, it would have been struck me and knocked me down, and we're wrestling on the ground. I can't defeat depression so completely that it will never bother me again. But I'm determined to not let it have enough control to completely defeat me. Maybe the best I can do is to say "fuck it, I'm hurting like hell, but today's not the day I surrender"
I'll probably listen to this song a couple of times today
peace
I am such a bad father. I cant even be father. My son just reminded me of how wrong I am and how bad a father i really am. I failed them and everyone. Im sry I ruined my family's lives and I have no way of fixing anything. My life is straight upside down. I cant wait until im gone. Im so worn out and i deserve what is coming. I can keep saying sry but its not gonna change anything. I cant keep living like this. My thoughts are so bad its really hard to control myself. I hate myself but will always love my family even if everyone dont love me. Im sure everyone is waiting for the call im gone. Nobody really understands what im feeling. Its really hard for me. Im really struggling today and cant talk to nobody. I don't want to be here nomore. Pain is unbearable as is my thoughts. My thoughts physically hurt me. Nobody understands that. I really don't have nothing to live for. I absolutely lost everything including myself. No help no nothing. Nobody to go to and nothing but me alone with nothing but bad thoughts. I lost my soul when I lost my family. It sucks i cant help Nobody I guess better that I don't cause of state of mind im in.
You're not a bad father. You're a good father that's going through a rough time.
Do you want to say what happened? I think his mom may be putting bad ideas in his head and manipulating him.
You haven't failed them. You're just going through a rough time.
If you can take care of your own mental and physical health, the day will come that you can have a better relationship with your kids.
You deserve good things, not bad things. You just don't realize your own worth.
Hey you've got us at least. I wish you had more, and enough to get better, but that's still something.
Do you want to say what happened? I think his mom may be putting bad ideas in his head and manipulating him.
You haven't failed them. You're just going through a rough time.
If you can take care of your own mental and physical health, the day will come that you can have a better relationship with your kids.
You deserve good things, not bad things. You just don't realize your own worth.
Hey you've got us at least. I wish you had more, and enough to get better, but that's still something.
Yes and im very scared of myself right now. Very upset and having bad thoughts that I know im going to lose control. Its already a bad day. Just got a call from hospital that I got bacteria in my blood. I just don't care anymore. Im hurting bad and it just don't matter. I need to disappear. I wish there was help but it seems there is only 1 way out of this pain. Nothing is ever going to go right for me. This is what I get for trying and doing what I thought was right. I give up. I hope nobody gets were im at cause its very lonely and hurts. I tried my best but its not enough. I lost the fight.
