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The 2 most damaging things a bully can say

agwoodliffe

Well-Known Member
#1
I recently saw quite a few videos of students who were driven to suicide by bullies. And I noticed a common thread amongst all of them; stuff I also noticed in domestic abuse victims.
There are 2 methods a bully uses that are particularly damaging to your mental health, stuff that is likely to make you consider suicide. And it does not involve any physical contact; it's through words:

1) They make you feel like you're all alone. They will say stuff like ''Nobody likes you. Everyone hates you. You've got no one''. This is a common tactic used by abusers to isolate their victim from others who could help them. There is no truth to their words at all; it is pure manipulation to amplify the damage they inflict on the victim. If someone feels like they're alone, they're a much easier target.
2) Perhaps the worst of all: they make you feel like it's YOU that's the problem. They make you feel like you actually deserve being victimised by them, for being such a terrible person. Again, like the above point, there is zero truth to it. It is pure manipulation, designed to inflict maximum damage on the victim, as well as to absolve the bully of any guilt. It sounds ridiculous when you think about it, because obviously it is the bully's fault, not yours. Unfortunately some people are sensitive enough that they are vulnerable to being manipulated. Bullies are adept at spotting such vulnerable individuals, the same way predators are good at spotting easy prey.

Bullies use a lot of tactics to degrade their victims. And I think it is these 2 tactics that cause the most damage. You might ask yourself: ''why would somebody say such hurtful things that aren't even true?''
Well I think that's a question that ANY prosocial person has trouble answering. And I think the answer is, simply, that they are sadistic pieces of sh*t who get off on causing pain to other people.
Sad thing is, some people are quite vulnerable to the stuff these monsters say, and they might take it seriously, and actually start to believe they are a) all alone, and b) they are a terrible human being.
 

Nick

☆☆Still Ducking Fantastic ☆☆
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#6
My mother is a bully. She has a way of saying things that can instantly convince me that I am completely alone, nobody is in my corner, and I am entirely defective. BUT if I do what she wants than SHE will be there for me, because nobody could ever love me.

Yeah, I talked to my mother last night.
 

MarvelFan

Vanity of Vanities
#7
for me it was "your a pussy" after all the guys and girls beat me up really bad after school and took my wallet and jacket when I was a fat 15 year old and when I went to say hi to one of them they said "don't even talk to me".
 
#8
It had happened to me before too. What worse is, people didn't relaize it then thinking they were right (the bullies). Then they mock you 'I told you so.' to me.

But you know, the strange things is, they didn't say it anymore to me even I met them sometimes. Wonder why, they can took their time to say it to me back then, why can't do the same now?

The sad thing is .... they probably were taught or saw this kind of behaviour somewhere, most likely their parents.
 

whyimhere

Well-Known Member
#9
I recently saw quite a few videos of students who were driven to suicide by bullies. And I noticed a common thread amongst all of them; stuff I also noticed in domestic abuse victims.
There are 2 methods a bully uses that are particularly damaging to your mental health, stuff that is likely to make you consider suicide. And it does not involve any physical contact; it's through words:

1) They make you feel like you're all alone. They will say stuff like ''Nobody likes you. Everyone hates you. You've got no one''. This is a common tactic used by abusers to isolate their victim from others who could help them. There is no truth to their words at all; it is pure manipulation to amplify the damage they inflict on the victim. If someone feels like they're alone, they're a much easier target.
2) Perhaps the worst of all: they make you feel like it's YOU that's the problem. They make you feel like you actually deserve being victimised by them, for being such a terrible person. Again, like the above point, there is zero truth to it. It is pure manipulation, designed to inflict maximum damage on the victim, as well as to absolve the bully of any guilt. It sounds ridiculous when you think about it, because obviously it is the bully's fault, not yours. Unfortunately some people are sensitive enough that they are vulnerable to being manipulated. Bullies are adept at spotting such vulnerable individuals, the same way predators are good at spotting easy prey.

Bullies use a lot of tactics to degrade their victims. And I think it is these 2 tactics that cause the most damage. You might ask yourself: ''why would somebody say such hurtful things that aren't even true?''
Well I think that's a question that ANY prosocial person has trouble answering. And I think the answer is, simply, that they are sadistic pieces of sh*t who get off on causing pain to other people.
Sad thing is, some people are quite vulnerable to the stuff these monsters say, and they might take it seriously, and actually start to believe they are a) all alone, and b) they are a terrible human being.
I still feel alone and often like I'm horrible. (Deep down inside I maybe always feel I'm horrible.) I also feel like everyone thinks I'm crazy, irrational, etc and that no one likes having me around. I shrink into myself because I'm so afraid that people will hate me, think I'm crazy etc (I don't know how much of that is normal and how much is a result of bullying). I just try to play a proper, good, normal girl.

I hate how suffocated I feel.

I do feel bullies find me wherever I go. I don't know how to stop it.

I think #1 is true. No one will help me. People blame the victim. They'll quickly label you as bad just like the bully did. They'll say you must've deserved it.
 

BOUNCE

Well-Known Member
#10
I recently saw quite a few videos of students who were driven to suicide by bullies. And I noticed a common thread amongst all of them; stuff I also noticed in domestic abuse victims.
There are 2 methods a bully uses that are particularly damaging to your mental health, stuff that is likely to make you consider suicide. And it does not involve any physical contact; it's through words:

1) They make you feel like you're all alone. They will say stuff like ''Nobody likes you. Everyone hates you. You've got no one''. This is a common tactic used by abusers to isolate their victim from others who could help them. There is no truth to their words at all; it is pure manipulation to amplify the damage they inflict on the victim. If someone feels like they're alone, they're a much easier target.
2) Perhaps the worst of all: they make you feel like it's YOU that's the problem. They make you feel like you actually deserve being victimised by them, for being such a terrible person. Again, like the above point, there is zero truth to it. It is pure manipulation, designed to inflict maximum damage on the victim, as well as to absolve the bully of any guilt. It sounds ridiculous when you think about it, because obviously it is the bully's fault, not yours. Unfortunately some people are sensitive enough that they are vulnerable to being manipulated. Bullies are adept at spotting such vulnerable individuals, the same way predators are good at spotting easy prey.

Bullies use a lot of tactics to degrade their victims. And I think it is these 2 tactics that cause the most damage. You might ask yourself: ''why would somebody say such hurtful things that aren't even true?''
Well I think that's a question that ANY prosocial person has trouble answering. And I think the answer is, simply, that they are sadistic pieces of sh*t who get off on causing pain to other people.
Sad thing is, some people are quite vulnerable to the stuff these monsters say, and they might take it seriously, and actually start to believe they are a) all alone, and b) they are a terrible human being.
I didn't know this was a trend. i believed all the things my bullies said to me. That i am ugly, lonely, pathetic, no one likes me. So my bullies were my roommate and her drug dealing friends. I was so scared, that i left the place, and i stayed outside, just anywhere, for one whole day, because i was scared of them, and i was scared of seeking help too. In one stupid act, after threatening me a lot, they called my parents to complain about me. That was the best thing they did. They got my parents involved, and they came to my rescue. I went back home with my parents and i was coping with everything that had happened. Then i find out, that my bullies had talked about me to people. I don't know what they said, but now, hardly anyone from my college talks to me.
I try so hard to move away from my past, but when you have people like this bullying you, i don't know when will all this stop. I literally lose my strength each day. I don't want revenge, i am not angry. I just want to get away from all this.
 
#12
I know how this feels.
Im 41 now and ive been bullied my whole life. Mine won. Theyre dating hot sexy guys, celeb friends, popular. Celebs go Sofias ugly. Imbecil. Whore. The bullies,get back at me. Retard. Ugly. Stupid.
Gossip, point me out. Laugh. Love eachother

Make yt videos about me. Marry Boring girls thats hotter than me. They call them hot and me a whore.
Fat ugly whore.
 
#13
My mom hates me. Nobody loves me.
She Said, Why dontya od?
She hits me if I offend my bullies.
Every1 laugh at me.
Im all Alone.
Im Called a fat, ugly whore vomit.
Im fucking puking with Sofia.
 

Daphna

Well-Known Member
#14
I recently saw quite a few videos of students who were driven to suicide by bullies. And I noticed a common thread amongst all of them; stuff I also noticed in domestic abuse victims.
There are 2 methods a bully uses that are particularly damaging to your mental health, stuff that is likely to make you consider suicide. And it does not involve any physical contact; it's through words:

1) They make you feel like you're all alone. They will say stuff like ''Nobody likes you. Everyone hates you. You've got no one''. This is a common tactic used by abusers to isolate their victim from others who could help them. There is no truth to their words at all; it is pure manipulation to amplify the damage they inflict on the victim. If someone feels like they're alone, they're a much easier target.
2) Perhaps the worst of all: they make you feel like it's YOU that's the problem. They make you feel like you actually deserve being victimised by them, for being such a terrible person. Again, like the above point, there is zero truth to it. It is pure manipulation, designed to inflict maximum damage on the victim, as well as to absolve the bully of any guilt. It sounds ridiculous when you think about it, because obviously it is the bully's fault, not yours. Unfortunately some people are sensitive enough that they are vulnerable to being manipulated. Bullies are adept at spotting such vulnerable individuals, the same way predators are good at spotting easy prey.

Bullies use a lot of tactics to degrade their victims. And I think it is these 2 tactics that cause the most damage. You might ask yourself: ''why would somebody say such hurtful things that aren't even true?''
Well I think that's a question that ANY prosocial person has trouble answering. And I think the answer is, simply, that they are sadistic pieces of sh*t who get off on causing pain to other people.
Sad thing is, some people are quite vulnerable to the stuff these monsters say, and they might take it seriously, and actually start to believe they are a) all alone, and b) they are a terrible human being.
So true, they alienate and then accuse you of being the problem.
 

Aurelia

🔶🔸✴ 👑 ✴🔸🔶
#16
The worst thing one could tell me is to say I am ugly. If I hear that someday I would definitely cut my veins to death.
I recall you were one of the people saying that beauty was objective in the other thread. Do you think that maybe you viewing it that way is why a comment like that would upset you so much? Wouldn't it be a much healthier outlook to dismiss such a statement and still know that you'll always be attractive to certain people regardless what anyone else thinks?
 

PrincessPure

Well-Known Member
#17
I recall you were one of the people saying that beauty was objective in the other thread. Do you think that maybe you viewing it that way is why a comment like that would upset you so much? Wouldn't it be a much healthier outlook to dismiss such a statement and still know that you'll always be attractive to certain people regardless what anyone else thinks?
Maybe you are right, but some people will always be considered beautiful by majority of people if not everyone. Those who had potential to be a model or get hit very often I mean. And then there are other people who minority of folks find "good-looking" only subjectively, for being unique or anything. The first group sounds like the real winners to me. I guess I have a unhealthy view on this but that's kinda reality.
 
#18
I'm ugly on the outside, and could care less. Because on the inside I'm a supermodel. It's comforting to me that most of my bullies as a kid are now either dead, in jail, or grew up to be a big loser.

What made it the worst for me growing up was when the you'd get no support from the adults, or worse, even blame from them. THAT is what made me feel like it was on me, which is why as an adult now I will forever stand up for that whenever I see it.
 
#19
Maybe you are right, but some people will always be considered beautiful by majority of people if not everyone. Those who had potential to be a model or get hit very often I mean. And then there are other people who minority of folks find "good-looking" only subjectively, for being unique or anything. The first group sounds like the real winners to me. I guess I have a unhealthy view on this but that's kinda reality.
You're right, it is reality in our vain society. The question is what are YOU going to do about it? It takes courage to go against the grain. I have to believe it's partially why we are here. Also realize there's a price for being 'beautiful' often
 

PrincessPure

Well-Known Member
#20
You're right, it is reality in our vain society. The question is what are YOU going to do about it? It takes courage to go against the grain. I have to believe it's partially why we are here. Also realize there's a price for being 'beautiful' often
It needs a really strong person to face the vain standards and make the world a better place. I never thought of myself as strong in that context. Tbh it's a shame but maybe I am even weak???

I am half white but as I became a teen my ethnic features started popping. I didn't look like a white kid anymore. Not that it's bad. I didn't even think of it, until I realized my crush prefers white girls. He didn't even call me ugly but well, I wasn't full white. I was stuck in bed for months and kept hurting myself until I decided to go under knife, get rid of my nose (which was the most ethnic feature of my face) and I changed my eyebrows to be way less thick. Well I got his attention, and it worked in general as well. A lot of more people noticed me or complimented me and I felt more confident about myself in general. It still bothers me tho, thinking I probably reacted in the worst way possible. Not like no insecurities are left anymore. I was thinking of bleaching my skin to look as pale as north Europeans for a while now (My skin is white but more like a South European)

So yea, I'm definitely not the right person to fight against anything.
 

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