I recently saw quite a few videos of students who were driven to suicide by bullies. And I noticed a common thread amongst all of them; stuff I also noticed in domestic abuse victims.
There are 2 methods a bully uses that are particularly damaging to your mental health, stuff that is likely to make you consider suicide. And it does not involve any physical contact; it's through words:
1) They make you feel like you're all alone. They will say stuff like ''Nobody likes you. Everyone hates you. You've got no one''. This is a common tactic used by abusers to isolate their victim from others who could help them. There is no truth to their words at all; it is pure manipulation to amplify the damage they inflict on the victim. If someone feels like they're alone, they're a much easier target.
2) Perhaps the worst of all: they make you feel like it's YOU that's the problem. They make you feel like you actually deserve being victimised by them, for being such a terrible person. Again, like the above point, there is zero truth to it. It is pure manipulation, designed to inflict maximum damage on the victim, as well as to absolve the bully of any guilt. It sounds ridiculous when you think about it, because obviously it is the bully's fault, not yours. Unfortunately some people are sensitive enough that they are vulnerable to being manipulated. Bullies are adept at spotting such vulnerable individuals, the same way predators are good at spotting easy prey.
Bullies use a lot of tactics to degrade their victims. And I think it is these 2 tactics that cause the most damage. You might ask yourself: ''why would somebody say such hurtful things that aren't even true?''
Well I think that's a question that ANY prosocial person has trouble answering. And I think the answer is, simply, that they are sadistic pieces of sh*t who get off on causing pain to other people.
Sad thing is, some people are quite vulnerable to the stuff these monsters say, and they might take it seriously, and actually start to believe they are a) all alone, and b) they are a terrible human being.
There are 2 methods a bully uses that are particularly damaging to your mental health, stuff that is likely to make you consider suicide. And it does not involve any physical contact; it's through words:
1) They make you feel like you're all alone. They will say stuff like ''Nobody likes you. Everyone hates you. You've got no one''. This is a common tactic used by abusers to isolate their victim from others who could help them. There is no truth to their words at all; it is pure manipulation to amplify the damage they inflict on the victim. If someone feels like they're alone, they're a much easier target.
2) Perhaps the worst of all: they make you feel like it's YOU that's the problem. They make you feel like you actually deserve being victimised by them, for being such a terrible person. Again, like the above point, there is zero truth to it. It is pure manipulation, designed to inflict maximum damage on the victim, as well as to absolve the bully of any guilt. It sounds ridiculous when you think about it, because obviously it is the bully's fault, not yours. Unfortunately some people are sensitive enough that they are vulnerable to being manipulated. Bullies are adept at spotting such vulnerable individuals, the same way predators are good at spotting easy prey.
Bullies use a lot of tactics to degrade their victims. And I think it is these 2 tactics that cause the most damage. You might ask yourself: ''why would somebody say such hurtful things that aren't even true?''
Well I think that's a question that ANY prosocial person has trouble answering. And I think the answer is, simply, that they are sadistic pieces of sh*t who get off on causing pain to other people.
Sad thing is, some people are quite vulnerable to the stuff these monsters say, and they might take it seriously, and actually start to believe they are a) all alone, and b) they are a terrible human being.