The affect of alcoholic parents ?

[tootall09]

So this subject came to me while I was thinking of my past and how I thought I was done with it , somehow I actually forgot the bad parts. So here it goes.

1) Do you or have you had a alcoholic parent or parents?

Yes , both of my parents were hard core drinkers , that's how they actually died cirrhosis of the liver. Mom died at the age of 35 and dad around 50.


2) What has been the effects or outcome?

It's hard to say for me , my mother drank while she was pregnant with me so that could have contributed to me being diagnosed with ADD as a kid or bipolar recently. Who knows , I guess I should back up and say that when I was 5 when my mom died me and my older brother were raised by my aunt and uncle so that was a good thing. Dad couldn't take care up us he was a abusive drunk. Somehow I remember visions of when I was around 5 of him fighting my brother , I was stupid and thought they were wrestling. I don't think I got any of if back then , but when I was 14 before he died he stayed with my grandparents and I would stay with them I remember him drinking most a gallon of cheap vodka a day and then try to fight me and choke me. Oh well that's over with I was still raised and lived with my aunt and uncle who I call mom and dad it was a pretty normal upbringing I guess , kinda emotionally repressed though.

I'm 26 now had some good times and had alot of bad times and recently going thru some bad stuff and going to therapy it got me thinking my life was screwed before I was even born.

3) What is your view on drinking?

Hmm well even well before drinking age my brother made me swear that we wouldn't become alcoholics or abusive. I occasionally have 3 to 6 beers once or twice a month and maybe once a year get really drunk from liquor. Pretty much keep it to a minimum and so far it hasn't made me feel like I needed to drink or anything. So as long as it doesn't get that far I'm good and just say to drink responsible.


Anything you would like to add or say?

It sucks that somthing so stupid could mess a family up. It makes me so mad sometimes I wish things like alcohol tobacco and drugs were never invented.

Sorry it's long just hard to minimize thoughts. Also this isn't a I'm sorry for myself or rant it's just a how have you dealt with the same thing.

 

[JCC988]

I figured I'd make a response because I've a bit to say on alcohol abuse.

1. My father was not an alcoholic but he was a heavy drinker. Many nights he would just fall asleep in a chair or on the couch. I'm all but certain that heavy drinking contributed to his untimely death from sudden heart failure at 67.

2. I didn't get close to my father until his last years. I'm pretty sure now he was drunk on a lot of nights so it would make sense that I wouldn't feel like talking to him then. I'm just glad I had those good moments with him before he died.

3. I've had a curious relationship with alcohol. I blame it for bad things that have happened to the family. But I drank way too much for several years before I recently cut back. I still crave hard drink because it helped numb the pain in the past. Of course I was drinking close to 6 servings of alcohol a day at one point. So it's for the best I've cut back. I don't mind others drinking, but I've had a hard time trying to avoid using it to cope.

Alcoholism DOES run in families. My uncle is a drunkard, my father was a heavy drinker, and now my sister is going down the same path. I nearly became addicted myself.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

Yes, and I think my mom will die from it if she does not stop.

My mom has trouble doing things on her own, and sometimes I feel like I am dealing with a child. So it can be hard to cope with.

I still drink sometimes but I try not to overdo it. I would not want to risk my health or anything like that. And I don't think I could be in a relationship with anyone who drinks heavily because I would not want to lose them.

If you have a drinking problem, then stop before it is too late. You may think you will be fine, but health problems can arise at any time.

 

[JCC988]

Yes, and I think my mom will die from it if she does not stop.

My mom has trouble doing things on her own, and sometimes I feel like I am dealing with a child. So it can be hard to cope with.

I still drink sometimes but I try not to overdo it. I would not want to risk my health or anything like that. And I don't think I could be in a relationship with anyone who drinks heavily because I would not want to lose them.

If you have a drinking problem, then stop before it is too late. You may think you will be fine, but health problems can arise at any time.

I know this feeling all too well. Having a disabled mother does feel like caring for a child. Especially when she starts demanding things. It makes it easy to want to drink to cope.

 

[DrownedFishOnFire]

Yes both parents. Both have legal problems related to their addictions as they both are also addicted to other substances other than alochol. Grew up basically teaching myself everything to function in this world. Did not have much warmth nor love from both parents. a lot of strangers would see a glimpse how violent and angry dad is while the mom has made the worst damage in my life being mentally abusive and verbally as well. Grew up as a messed up kid being told im worthless in so many different ways and eventually have started to realize that it is my own life now not theirs to ruin. Never felt the need to be addicted to anything but pop and food. Have experimented with some drugs but never saw the need to get high it was not something for me to be excited over and pot actually made my mental illness more messed up, I have some allergic reaction to certain alochol drinks and have gotten drunk off my ass few times but hated the hangovers and the fricking feeling the next few days. It was not something that impressed me at all.

Alochol has ruined my life growing up, and I was hit by a drunk driver at high speed last year and it ruined my knees and have severe headaches then my mom pulls that stunt with her 2nd dui and wrecked her vertebrae after she saw what I went through...so pretty much am done with them and alochol

 

[tootall09]

Thank you for sharing @JCC988 @Witty_Sarcasm @DrownedFishOnFire !

 

[Magalee]

Hi @tootall09

My dad was an alcoholic, too. He went to the VFW and American Legion to drink because he was a veteran of the Korean War. He usually held an office at these organizations; another excuse to be there instead of home.

He "fathered" six children but he wasn't a father to any of them. He drank beer, mostly; if he drank whiskey it made him mean.

When he finally came home we never knew what we would get. Sometimes he would hit and push my mom, sometimes his children. Sometimes he would say he hated us and was going to kill us with his gun, other times he'd get us all out of bed and hug and kiss us. He would threaten to leave, stuff all his clothes in the back seat of his car, then pass out on the front walk.

When he wasn't drunk, he ignored us. We would be in the same room and it didn't seem to register that we were there. I tried to get him to love me when I was little; as a teen I grew to hate him. I hated his drinking, I hated how he beat my mom, I hated how he didn't give a crap about anyone but himself.

His legacy: Every single one of his six children are either depressed/mentally ill, alcoholics or druggies.

I drank when I was a young, started out as peer pressure, then to help with anxiety. I realized I was growing to need it. Once I became a parent I stopped. I didn't want to be like my dad.

 

[frew]

1) Do you or have you had a alcoholic parent or parents?
Yes both parents.

2) What has been the effects or outcome?
My relationship with them isn't great. I still feel really angry with them, so I can't really spend much time with them without constantly snapping and being critical. From the outside it probably looks like I'm a total bitch but I really can't stop myself, it's just from years of constant shit. I constantly worry about them dying, every day. I also feel chronic shame, which prevents me from speaking to anyone about it, because I know no one who had the same problem. I feel guilty that I can't be around them, because I know it tears them up inside, and makes them keep drinking. I feel sad that I don't have a nice home to go back to like everyone else.

3) What is your view on drinking?
I drink socially, but not that often. Occasionally I get pretty drunk though I actually hate the feeling of being drunk. I'm not really someone who drinks at home to relax. I've never had a problem with alcohol.

Anything you would like to add or say?
Thanks for talking so openly. On the whole, alcoholism is really sad. Just so sad, when someone can't get out of it.

 

[tootall09]

Thank you for sharing @Magalee even tho the subject is sad and brings up alot of emotions maybe it can help in a way to know that there are others.

 

[tootall09]

Thank you @frew for sharing ! I understand not liking the too drunk feeling.

 

[frew]

Thank you @frew for sharing ! I understand not liking the too drunk feeling.

No problem. I think I don't like being drunk as I associate it with losing control, like I can't control how I will act or come across, or I'll lose myself in someway. I also suffer a ton of anxiety about appearing drunk to others. Have you ever seen this? I relate to some of the traits I guess.

 

[tootall09]

I think I know what you mean frew