fuck you Though you insisted you were saying it out of love and care, failure and disappointment do not describe me. So you can go fuck yourself.
people who have to state their intentions are automatically suspect. If you really held the position you are claiming, your word choices would make disclaimers unnecessary. My faves are "I'm not a racist, but..." or "as a Christian..."
F them in the ear. You're obviously not behaving in accord with your professed faith if you have to announce it, and immediately say something hypocritical. Same with, "I'm only saying this with your best interests at heart..." or similar. There is a healthy way to give feedback, and a cutting way. If you are really caring but just don't know how to express that, then you would start with, "Hey I don't know how to say this, so can we have a talk?" That's not going to be easy, but ffs someone who is uncomfortable asking questions before they give feedback really does NOT care!
Either they are on an ego trip and want to put you in a subordinate position, or (more likely) they are struggling with their own behavior and instead of facing that, they run around giving unsolicited feedback to others. It's kind of like the opposite of fixing my own problems before I set myself up as a teacher.
All this judgement on my part is not very Christian of me, but I don't profess Christianity so there.
PS: I used to do that, so I'm really talking abt myself, but hey if projection is good for the goose...