The Fuck You Thread

[AmberMarie]

Do you think - it is because of his autism - that he does this (& is just, unaware?)?

Honestly i think he was just unaware because he was pretty sick with some high fevers. He has overcome so much with his Autism. All 3 kids (adults) have. He's just having a more difficult time. i was angry, and just more frustrated than anything. It's my own fault, i have always put myself on the back burner. So now it's expected.

 

[MisterBGone]

Honestly i think he was just unaware because he was pretty sick with some high fevers. He has overcome so much with his Autism. All 3 kids (adults) have. He's just having a more difficult time. i was angry, and just more frustrated than anything. It's my own fault, i have always put myself on the back burner. So now it's expected.

NO, it's als o hard, or ardeest & hard-er; when or whilst* living amongst, or (whtin) in & under/ the same husose or foor! ;/ so give yourself a break! _& don't be so hard o n your self.

 

[Neko~boy]

Fuck you bone pain!!! i hope the prescription VitD helps with the bone pain and my insurance will agree to the full body bone scan.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

Fuck you bone pain!!! i hope the prescription VitD helps with the bone pain and my insurance will agree to the full body bone scan.

I hope it all works out for the best for you, and you will be healthy and out of pain soon.

 

[Neko~boy]

I hope it all works out for the best for you, and you will be healthy and out of pain soon.

Thank you Witty

 

[LumberJack]

Fuck inpatient "treatment" - it's a huge scam to take advantage people in a state of vulnerability. I asked for help and instead they kicked me while I was down, and charged several thousand dollars for it. God damn, worst mistake of my life! $2500/night just for room and board, in accommodations that would make Motel 6 ashamed. During my time there, 20 to 27 beds were full. So at the low end of that - 20*2500 = $50K of revenue **per night** For that amount they can do better than a slab of foam to sleep on (with no pillow until the third time you ask for one). They can do better than food served cold that primarily consists of ground beef and Kraft slices American cheese (which isn't really food but that's another thread).

Fuck the nurses, who told me that my needs would be taken care of, when they knew they were lying. And fuck the goddamn orderlies who went on power trips over the patients just to get off on our suffering. Seriously. The rules were not posted nor documented in the pt handbook, so the boundaries were wherever the orderlies felt like they should be on that day.

And if you somehow fail to comply with these unwritten rules, they ban you from groups for a day, without even telling you what you did that was problematic. I shit you not, this literally happened to me. So no boundaries, but enforcement of boundaries. As a patient, I am accountable to staff but not the other way around! And... I am PAYING for that??? Fuck these assholes! How does that even make sense???

Oh wait, I get it. Mental patients are "unreliable reporters" so you can do whatever you want to us, and we can't say shit because if we do complain it's just our illness talking, which conveniently I am expected NOT to have, or else I get left alone FOR AN ENTIRE DAY with nothing to occupy me, other than the chaotic thoughts in my head that induced me to seek help in the first place!

 

[Neko~boy]

Fuck inpatient "treatment" - it's a huge scam to take advantage people in a state of vulnerability. I asked for help and instead they kicked me while I was down, and charged several thousand dollars for it. God damn, worst mistake of my life! $2500/night just for room and board, in accommodations that would make Motel 6 ashamed. During my time there, 20 to 27 beds were full. So at the low end of that - 20*2500 = $50K of revenue **per night** For that amount they can do better than a slab of foam to sleep on (with no pillow until the third time you ask for one). They can do better than food served cold that primarily consists of ground beef and Kraft slices American cheese (which isn't really food but that's another thread).

Fuck the nurses, who told me that my needs would be taken care of, when they knew they were lying. And fuck the goddamn orderlies who went on power trips over the patients just to get off on our suffering. Seriously. The rules were not posted nor documented in the pt handbook, so the boundaries were wherever the orderlies felt like they should be on that day.

And if you somehow fail to comply with these unwritten rules, they ban you from groups for a day, without even telling you what you did that was problematic. I shit you not, this literally happened to me. So no boundaries, but enforcement of boundaries. As a patient, I am accountable to staff but not the other way around! And... I am PAYING for that??? Fuck these assholes! How does that even make sense???

Oh wait, I get it. Mental patients are "unreliable reporters" so you can do whatever you want to us, and we can't say shit because if we do complain it's just our illness talking, which conveniently I am expected NOT to have, or else I get left alone FOR AN ENTIRE DAY with nothing to occupy me, other than the chaotic thoughts in my head that induced me to seek help in the first place!

i feel for you i was involuntarily committed and had a similar outcome. Places like that are supposed to help us in need, not kick us while we're down and strip away all human dignity.
When getting checked into the hospital after the sheriff escorted me, there were 3 stripping away my clothes and me a sobbing mess begging them to stop because i have been a victim of rape and other things. i was having the worst panic attack of my life, sobbing uncontrollably, extremely distraught, and practical curling up in the fetal position of the chair. One of the nurses was extremely rude and hateful telling me "i dont get why you're crying. It's over with so stop". Definitely not how you handle a patient with a traumatic background and ptsd.

i learned from other patients each of us was treated differently. i was often ignored and denied simple needs such as clean underwear. others got clean fresh clothes that had been donated yet i asked 4 times and was denied. The last time i asked a man went over after me and was given something in front of me.
The nurses took care of the other patients laundry and took them to their rooms, however the same nurse who had fussed at me during getting checked in, made me get my own things (which i didn't mind, it was the fact i was treated so differently than others, to the point fellow patients were commenting on it).
My first day there the same hateful nurse chased me down the hall to my room fussing at me that i had to go to group. i told her my stomach was hurting and needed to use the restroom. She only got hateful towards me. After i left my room i went to ask for someone to rebandage my arm (which was often neglected and became extremely sore and infected and i tended to my own wound myself by reusing the bandages i had). The nurse yelled at me across the room saying it would be tended to layer, that i needed to go to group. Everyone could see through the glass walls and hear her yelling at me, which only bothered my anxiety more.

There was even a patient who suffered from paranoid schizophrenia who had served in the war after 9/11. He served many tours. Sadly they cornered him one day threatening to strap in a straight jacket and strap him to a table in this padded quiet room. They only upset him more and he was yelling a lot. A lot of other patients were joking, some like myself got upset, and others were worried and outraged yelling for them to stop. He met a girl who also served as well as him and she helped him later on in calming down. After they started hanging out, he became a different person. He was more comfortable and felt safer with us patients but not the staff.

The horrible mistreatment of so many patients in need of help and support during a mental crisis is unbearably cruel. Inpatient treatment was one of the absolute worst things i have had to experience.

The kindness i dealt with were actually the police officers who told me i had a court order to be involuntarily committed and the officer who escorted me following the initial hospital as they waited for a bed to open up. i remember he was so polite and offered to carry my bag as it was extremely heavy. He open the doors for me, gave me some space, tried comforting me. He gave me my phone to text some people to let them know where i was going and said that they were going to help. (The nurses didn't help much, but, he did).

Some people have good experiences with Inpatient care, but a lot of us walk away hurting even more. It's a shame.

 

[LumberJack]

i feel for you i was involuntarily committed and had a similar outcome. Places like that are supposed to help us in need, not kick us while we're down and strip away all human dignity.
When getting checked into the hospital after the sheriff escorted me, there were 3 stripping away my clothes and me a sobbing mess begging them to stop because i have been a victim of rape and other things. i was having the worst panic attack of my life, sobbing uncontrollably, extremely distraught, and practical curling up in the fetal position of the chair. One of the nurses was extremely rude and hateful telling me "i dont get why you're crying. It's over with so stop". Definitely not how you handle a patient with a traumatic background and ptsd.

i learned from other patients each of us was treated differently. i was often ignored and denied simple needs such as clean underwear. others got clean fresh clothes that had been donated yet i asked 4 times and was denied. The last time i asked a man went over after me and was given something in front of me.
The nurses took care of the other patients laundry and took them to their rooms, however the same nurse who had fussed at me during getting checked in, made me get my own things (which i didn't mind, it was the fact i was treated so differently than others, to the point fellow patients were commenting on it).
My first day there the same hateful nurse chased me down the hall to my room fussing at me that i had to go to group. i told her my stomach was hurting and needed to use the restroom. She only got hateful towards me. After i left my room i went to ask for someone to rebandage my arm (which was often neglected and became extremely sore and infected and i tended to my own wound myself by reusing the bandages i had). The nurse yelled at me across the room saying it would be tended to layer, that i needed to go to group. Everyone could see through the glass walls and hear her yelling at me, which only bothered my anxiety more.

There was even a patient who suffered from paranoid schizophrenia who had served in the war after 9/11. He served many tours. Sadly they cornered him one day threatening to strap in a straight jacket and strap him to a table in this padded quiet room. They only upset him more and he was yelling a lot. A lot of other patients were joking, some like myself got upset, and others were worried and outraged yelling for them to stop. He met a girl who also served as well as him and she helped him later on in calming down. After they started hanging out, he became a different person. He was more comfortable and felt safer with us patients but not the staff.

The horrible mistreatment of so many patients in need of help and support during a mental crisis is unbearably cruel. Inpatient treatment was one of the absolute worst things i have had to experience.

The kindness i dealt with were actually the police officers who told me i had a court order to be involuntarily committed and the officer who escorted me following the initial hospital as they waited for a bed to open up. i remember he was so polite and offered to carry my bag as it was extremely heavy. He open the doors for me, gave me some space, tried comforting me. He gave me my phone to text some people to let them know where i was going and said that they were going to help. (The nurses didn't help much, but, he did).

Some people have good experiences with Inpatient care, but a lot of us walk away hurting even more. It's a shame.

Oh gosh, I am so sorry this happened to you. My situation wasn’t even that bad, although I still left with new trauma and emotional scars. Also I went in voluntarily because I was having thoughts that I couldn’t cope with.

I thought that was what I was supposed to do. People who tell you to call 988 or a crisis line have likely never seen the inside of a psych ward. If they have, find out where they went that didn’t abuse them to the point of being afraid to ever admit vulnerability again.

I can’t say what was going on with that nurse who was unsympathetic, but in my case the nurses were burned out because of constant understaffing, and so they were phoning it in, and it showed. I was far from the only patient who felt this way.


It is possible to check a patient’s clothes without a strip search. I was at least afforded that dignity. The insults to my human rights happened only after I was behind locked doors

You are right about the staff being more dangerous to us than the other patients. Which is a pretty low bar for a freaking hospital if you ask me.

 

[Ash600]

Fuck this day. Been c##nted off from start to finish.

Nothing more to say

 

[Inanimate]

Fuck inpatient "treatment" - it's a huge scam to take advantage people in a state of vulnerability. I asked for help and instead they kicked me while I was down, and charged several thousand dollars for it. God damn, worst mistake of my life! $2500/night just for room and board, in accommodations that would make Motel 6 ashamed. During my time there, 20 to 27 beds were full. So at the low end of that - 20*2500 = $50K of revenue **per night** For that amount they can do better than a slab of foam to sleep on (with no pillow until the third time you ask for one). They can do better than food served cold that primarily consists of ground beef and Kraft slices American cheese (which isn't really food but that's another thread).

Fuck the nurses, who told me that my needs would be taken care of, when they knew they were lying. And fuck the goddamn orderlies who went on power trips over the patients just to get off on our suffering. Seriously. The rules were not posted nor documented in the pt handbook, so the boundaries were wherever the orderlies felt like they should be on that day.

And if you somehow fail to comply with these unwritten rules, they ban you from groups for a day, without even telling you what you did that was problematic. I shit you not, this literally happened to me. So no boundaries, but enforcement of boundaries. As a patient, I am accountable to staff but not the other way around! And... I am PAYING for that??? Fuck these assholes! How does that even make sense???

Oh wait, I get it. Mental patients are "unreliable reporters" so you can do whatever you want to us, and we can't say shit because if we do complain it's just our illness talking, which conveniently I am expected NOT to have, or else I get left alone FOR AN ENTIRE DAY with nothing to occupy me, other than the chaotic thoughts in my head that induced me to seek help in the first place!

FUCK THAT! I am never, ever, ever, ever, ever asking for help again. PLEASE FOR GOD's SAKE DO NOT PUT YOURSELF IN A PLACE WHERE THEY CAN PUT YOU ON A HOLD!!! THAT MEANS THEY HAVE A FINANCIAL INCENTIVE TO HARM YOU, AND CAN GET AWAY WITH IT!!! There is NO accountability after the fact. The regulatory agencies are on the hospital's side and will clear them of wrongdoing, when clearly the facts of the investigation demonstrate wrongdoing.

I’ll remember your experience the next time I entertain the idea of going through inpatient therapy again. It sounds like a play on your desperation in order to get you to pay for your own prison sentence. I’m very sorry you had to endure that.

My experiences long ago were relatively good, but I distinctly remember after the fact my father called the hospital to inquire about my missing hooded, nebula themed t-shirt, which the hospital staff confiscated until the end of my stay because the drawstrings were considered a weapon. They took advantage of the fact that I self-harmed there to fabricate a half-assed lie about how I gave it to a patient in exchange for the object I used. In reality, I obtained said object because the staff were careless and practically handed it to me. I suppose whoever was on the line was banking on the hope that my father would distrust me because of my history, but instead he stood up for me and called them out.

All that to say, I don’t trust hospital staff to look after possessions, let alone human beings, if their patients’ vulnerabilities are just that: something to lord over those who trusted them with their care.

 

[LumberJack]

I’ll remember your experience the next time I entertain the idea of going through inpatient therapy again. It sounds like a play on your desperation in order to get you to pay for your own prison sentence. I’m very sorry you had to endure that.

I vehemently hope that you never have to go inpatient again. My experience is my own, but it’s not unique. Personally I will never again even take the risk of talking about suicide with a mandatory reporter. I hope this isn’t triggering, but I will absolutely choose death if that hell is the only thing standing between me and the proverbial bus station.

I believe that my mistake was to discount the dozens of 1-star reviews on google maps. I thought that yeah, of course if they were involuntary, they would hate every minute. But my experience was way more consistent with the reviews than the BS on their website. They said that exit surveys showed over 4.0 in questions like being treated with dignity.

Those surveys must have been from a different time, then, because no way in hell would they have that rating today. Out of 20+ patients in there with me, there were maybe two who were happy with their treatment. I guess they had an even worse situation at home.

So, I would say look at the reviews from google or yelp or similar. Give recent reviews more weight. Treatment levels seem to vary over time, which makes sense because your experience is so very dependent on exactly who is in charge.

 

[Lisa the Goatgirl]

Fuck you to the guy who'll say "Do you want to hear about this thing that happened? It's not too long", and then spend literally the next 40 minutes continuously typing out his version of War & Peace. Climb down out of your own arse and realise that you are not the centre of the universe, people's lives are not dependent on hearing every single detail of your boring-ass life.

I say "literally the next 40 minutes" as if that's how long he took, but he's still not done yet, that's just how long i've been waiting for him to finish his thesis paper he told me "wouldn't be too long".

 

[Lisa the Goatgirl]

He finally sent it. His "not that long" story was 895 words long. And took him 50 minutes to type.

 

[LumberJack]

He finally sent it. His "not that long" story was 895 words long. And took him 50 minutes to type.

Holy moly. I thought I was bad. I don’t want to go back and get a word count on my longer posts, but I do worry that I have gone past 1,000 words on occasion. I have noticed that I tend to branch out into tangent upon tangent and it all seems important at the moment. I want to be more concise, but it is a challenge.

Maybe your friend could use some feedback? Or is it more like he is too convinced of his self importance to take that kind of input?

 

[Lisa the Goatgirl]

Holy moly. I thought I was bad. I don’t want to go back and get a word count on my longer posts, but I do worry that I have gone past 1,000 words on occasion. I have noticed that I tend to branch out into tangent upon tangent and it all seems important at the moment. I want to be more concise, but it is a challenge.

Maybe your friend could use some feedback? Or is it more like he is too convinced of his self importance to take that kind of input?

That's the thing, i don't generally think there's anything wrong with going on long rants, or going on tangent after tangent. I'm more than guilty of that at times myself. What bothers me about this guy is the frequency with which he does these things. He'll ask for 2 minutes of your time, and then it'll be 5 hours later, and he'll still be rambling on about shrooms, or Metal Gear, or MMA, or whatever thing he's decided he wants to discuss ad nauseam. He'll struggle to kill a boss in a game, or have a stream end early due to losing internet connection, and he'll need hours of reassurance. He'll ask if you want to hear a quick story, and you'll find yourself wondering if the word count is going to reach 4 digits of mostly irrelevant details.

He just decides he wants to discuss something, and barges right on in to do so, for literal hours at a time. When he broke up with his girlfriend, it was literally hours of complaining, every night, for about 4 months. I couldn't get any coursework done, and i was barely able to find time to sleep. It makes you afraid to say anything to him, cos he'll use it as an excuse to start another endless diatribe. But if you don't give him the excuse, he'll make one, often by sending a joke that's sexist, or homophobic, or joy of joys, as of late, kinda transphobic. Yes, he's started sending me attack helicopter jokes since i came out trans. And the sexist jokes have gotten more consistent now i'm a woman.

As for the feedback, he's good at acting like he's taking it on board. But he evidently doesn't. Hell, today's edition of War & Peace, at around the 35 minute mark, i explicitly stated i didn't need to hear him recount his entire TTRPG session, but he insisted "it's just the cliffnotes" and carried on anyway. Like i say, he decides he wants to rant, so he just barges right in and does it. It's such a consistent problem i'm starting to get self-conscious about how much i bitch about him to my friends, cos i wouldn't blame them being sick of hearing it. Hell, i'm self-conscious this post is too long.

 

[LumberJack]

So net of everything else- I personally would make drama over the racist/sexist/phobic jokes. It’s not okay to me and especially if you identify as trans there should be no reason for you to have to tolerate “jokes,” which are often much more than that.

If the offensive comments aren’t addressed, they will continue or get worse. As a G in the LGBTQ+ acronym, I am hyper sensitive because I have seen comments go unchallenged and then bully type people will join in and /or encourage the original jerk face.

I don’t know enough context to say what is appropriate in your situation, but personally I would feel impelled to say something, somehow. If you are constrained from simply cutting ties with this person, then I think boundaries are called for. Sorry if I am blowing it out of proportion, but I can’t see how sending trans phobic comments, whether joking or not, to someone who just came out is tolerable.

 

[LumberJack]

Also, I might be overreacting because I’m just very irritated right now about something else unrelated. My sense of protest is already riled up.

 

[Lisa the Goatgirl]

So net of everything else- I personally would make drama over the racist/sexist/phobic jokes. It’s not okay to me and especially if you identify as trans there should be no reason for you to have to tolerate “jokes,” which are often much more than that.

If the offensive comments aren’t addressed, they will continue or get worse. As a G in the LGBTQ+ acronym, I am hyper sensitive because I have seen comments go unchallenged and then bully type people will join in and /or encourage the original jerk face.

I don’t know enough context to say what is appropriate in your situation, but personally I would feel impelled to say something, somehow. If you are constrained from simply cutting ties with this person, then I think boundaries are called for. Sorry if I am blowing it out of proportion, but I can’t see how sending trans phobic comments, whether joking or not, to someone who just came out is tolerable.

Also, I might be overreacting because I’m just very irritated right now about something else unrelated. My sense of protest is already riled up.

You're not blowing it out of proportion, and you're right to be so sensitive to his remarks. Before i was the T in the LGBTQ+, i was the G myself, for about 13 years. And i'm embarrassed to admit, i forgave a lot of remarks. He was one of those guys who thought it was funny to call me the f-slur, and he thought it was ok because i laughed at it, which i know was wrong of me. At the time, it honestly seemed funny, until we had the fight that ended our actual friendship, and he used it totally seriously, knowing how i felt about that.

Honestly, i could probably write a whole thesis myself on just how complicated the dynamic between him and me is, but i'm conscious i don't want to be like him. He was the guy who stood by me when everyone saw me as a monster, he was the man i loved for a while, he was my abuser for 12 years, now he's this guy i put up with for some reason, who i let get away with things i know i shouldn't, that i wouldn't with anyone else. I've even become a mod on his YT streams for some stupid reason.

I don't understand how he makes me act this way with him, but he still does, even though his power over me is nothing like it was. When he gives me opportunities to tell him what a narcissist he is, i still tell him "No, you're doing well, you're a good guy". I know i should shut him down, i know i should cut him out, but it's like something inside me can't make it happen. I probably should make a thread so i can talk about him in depth, cos until i can sort whatever hooks he still has in me, he'll always get away with far too much, and he'll keep taking advantage. Thank you for confronting me with the truth, cos i needed to hear it.

 

[KM76710]

He finally sent it. His "not that long" story was 895 words long. And took him 50 minutes to type.

I would have given up 40 minutes into the whole thing.

 

[Neko~boy]

View attachment 67163
You're not blowing it out of proportion, and you're right to be so sensitive to his remarks. Before i was the T in the LGBTQ+, i was the G myself, for about 13 years. And i'm embarrassed to admit, i forgave a lot of remarks. He was one of those guys who thought it was funny to call me the f-slur, and he thought it was ok because i laughed at it, which i know was wrong of me. At the time, it honestly seemed funny, until we had the fight that ended our actual friendship, and he used it totally seriously, knowing how i felt about that.

Honestly, i could probably write a whole thesis myself on just how complicated the dynamic between him and me is, but i'm conscious i don't want to be like him. He was the guy who stood by me when everyone saw me as a monster, he was the man i loved for a while, he was my abuser for 12 years, now he's this guy i put up with for some reason, who i let get away with things i know i shouldn't, that i wouldn't with anyone else. I've even become a mod on his YT streams for some stupid reason.

I don't understand how he makes me act this way with him, but he still does, even though his power over me is nothing like it was. When he gives me opportunities to tell him what a narcissist he is, i still tell him "No, you're doing well, you're a good guy". I know i should shut him down, i know i should cut him out, but it's like something inside me can't make it happen. I probably should make a thread so i can talk about him in depth, cos until i can sort whatever hooks he still has in me, he'll always get away with far too much, and he'll keep taking advantage. Thank you for confronting me with the truth, cos i needed to hear it.

i still think of Stockholm syndrome when you talk about him and your dynamic and friendship (or should I say 'friendship"/"so called friend').

Friends are their to lift you up when you're down. Support you through thick and thin. Be a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, someone to hold you when you need comforting. It sounds as if he did used to be like that, but he veered off his own path. You still endure abuse from him because it is difficult to let go of someone you have known for so long andthe connection and feelings you once had.

When you say he was there for you when everyone thought you were a monster, it sounds more like an excuse that your brain makes that allows him to be and behave how he does for maybe just that kindness.

You deserve to be treated with respect. Everyone does. He lacks understanding of respect for others (in my own opinion). Maybe he's been through some shit thats made him this way and it's all he knows? Or maybe it's just who he truly is.

You deserve better, Lisa. I know your relationship and history is complex. Maybe you're holding ontop hope that he could be a better person someday.

But those homophobic and transphobic jokes are definitely awful. i would express that they're inappropriate and if need to, explain why. You should make it known when it is offensive. Really everyone should make it known if something that is literally offensive and down right cruel, mean, vicious and uncalled for, it should be made known in hopes they can learn. There may be assholes in the bunch to just complain of such things and that only shows what type of person they are.