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ToSupport for DID

Catch_22

Well-Known Member
#63
Somatic triggers woke me up. I get told "oh your the 5 am part" - it is a condescension. It is mean. It is a normal facet of d.i.d. to have parts that exist at certain times. I did not create this to upset him. I am treated (we all are) as if this is made up and it's a problem to the person who is supposed to care for us. Trauma and triggers are nothing to this person. Trauma is a precursor to his anger. Why does he have a right to be mad at us for being traumatized but him get to say he treats me well and " I didn't do anything to you today" he leaves us to suffer and sh every day just to survive. It is as if I am a god and can take on everything every normal person cannot but I get treated like there is something wrong w me. Now there are anger and rage triggers I cannot manage because this person cannot be supportive, only abusive, so he doubles down everytime making things far worse. I hate my life. Now every trigger that woke me up (insignificant things like my estranged abuser mother's bday and the refusal of this person to support our system ) is pushed under because I'm neck deep in a fight over how I'm treated verbally now. And it's every single day practically. F this. Just retrauma on top of. - VentingSoIDontExplodeOrWorse
 
#68
I don't know if there are other systems active on SF at the moment. I think there is a DID-specific site out there if interacting with systems is important to you.

Now there are anger and rage triggers I cannot manage because this person cannot be supportive, only abusive, so he doubles down everytime making things far worse. I hate my life
It sounds like this person that is abusing you is also part of your system?
I get told "oh your the 5 am part" - it is a condescension. It is mean. It is a normal facet of d.i.d. to have parts that exist at certain times
It's interesting if you have parts that become active at certain times. In traditional Chinese medicine, certain organs of the body are thought to be most active at certain times of the day.

I can't remember now if I've recommended trying acupuncture and traditional Chinese medicine to you before. I talk about it so often, it's easy to forget who I've mentioned it to. In any case, I've heard of other folks say that they've tried it and it helped. I can say more about the subject if you're interested.
 

Catch_22

Well-Known Member
#69
I don't know if there are other systems active on SF at the moment. I think there is a DID-specific site out there if interacting with systems is important to you.


It sounds like this person that is abusing you is also part of your system?

It's interesting if you have parts that become active at certain times. In traditional Chinese medicine, certain organs of the body are thought to be most active at certain times of the day.

I can't remember now if I've recommended trying acupuncture and traditional Chinese medicine to you before. I talk about it so often, it's easy to forget who I've mentioned it to. In any case, I've heard of other folks say that they've tried it and it helped. I can say more about the subject if you're interested.
No, the abuser I'm referring to is not in my system. He is the person I stay with who is supposed to care for me.

D.i.d. sites didn't work that's why we are here. It seems ra multiples have nowhere safe to go, and no im not only interested in talking with other systems but absolutely no one on here can support us back really, because no one knows about this. Truly anyone with d.i.d. is so overwhelmed beyond the average person (even traumatized person) they cannot help other systems too deeply. Talking to them about suicide could trigger it easier than in a singleton as well. Depends the person and system, but this is something we've encountered over and over.

I'm on a d.i.d. thread asking for other systems and it feels like you are telling me to leave. Is this the one condition and source of suicide that isn't welcome here?

There is a part in here who knows about traditional chinese medicine but I'm not sure it relates to this aspect of d.i.d. at all and that part doesn't have the energy or support to exist anymore. If it did, the issue would be finding that part and bringing it back to me, not teaching another part about something someone else in the system already knows about . Thank you for the offer. The parts that exist at certain times have to do with conditioning, training, trauma, torture and abreactions.
-rin
 
#70
I'm on a d.i.d. thread asking for other systems and it feels like you are telling me to leave.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound that way. I was just thinking if you wanted to talk to other folks with D.I.D., a D.I.D site might be a way to find other systems if you couldn't find others here.

Of course you are welcome here!
 
#71
No, the abuser I'm referring to is not in my system. He is the person I stay with who is supposed to care for me.
Do you mostly want to vent about the abuse, or do you want to try to form a strategy for stopping the abuse? It's ok not to answer any question that I ask, if you prefer not to.
 

Catch_22

Well-Known Member
#73
Do you mostly want to vent about the abuse, or do you want to try to form a strategy for stopping the abuse? It's ok not to answer any question that I ask, if you prefer not to.
There is are two diff threads written about pieces of my situation if you are interested. Everything gets written by diff parts. I'm trying to make sense of it all now. Of course I want solutions, but ra is all about double binds and no solutions existing within my power. It's the only form of human trafficking there appears to be no support or help or recognition of. Parts may come here to vent. Others need support, others are distracting because support doesn't exist and my problems are too dark and fucked up for anyone here too. Others may not even know why they are typing. Idk.
 
#74
my problems are too dark and fucked up for anyone here too
You can always let it out here. I'm not sure if folks here would know how to respond, but you could always let it out.

If you're worried that a post might get edited or something like that, maybe a mod would be able to help you with that
Of course I want solutions, but ra is all about double binds and no solutions existing within my power
There is are two diff threads written about pieces of my situation if you are interested
Ok, I read the threads. It sounds complicated.

If there is a part that wants to talk about solutions, maybe we could arrange to do that. I don't know if that would actually lead to a solution, but it might be ok to talk about it at least.
 

Catch_22

Well-Known Member
#75
You can always let it out here. I'm not sure if folks here would know how to respond, but you could always let it out.

If you're worried that a post might get edited or something like that, maybe a mod would be able to help you with that


Ok, I read the threads. It sounds complicated.

If there is a part that wants to talk about solutions, maybe we could arrange to do that. I don't know if that would actually lead to a solution, but it might be ok to talk about it at least.
Thank you for caring enough to read. I really appreciate that. I know it's not just nice empty words from you.
 

extraterrestrialone

phoned home, no one answered
SF Supporter
#77
I'm trying to see if any systems are still active on this site? I read back through the thread but I'm not sure if any of the commenters are still here, besides Extraterrestrial ?
hey catch22, i’m here now but was away for a few days. i keep finding that the people here who have DID have a tendency to vanish. i’m beginning to think its because of me - for those i’ve tried to communicate with anyway. i really miss those with DID who are not here anymore. i want to communicate with people who i think have similar conditions to me so much that maybe i over do it. i know i’m not with DID but i do believe i have ESD. that’s why i have my own thread about it. but i’ve been in therapy which has been bringing out the Persecutory Alter in me much more lately. i don’t want to have to get worse to get better. but now quieting things down seems impossible. being scarce here for a few days didn’t help either. and the program i’m in for childhood sexual abuse survivors and those connected touches such a sore and sensitive spot. i do want to stay in touch with you and others if possible.
 

Catch_22

Well-Known Member
#78
hey catch22, i’m here now but was away for a few days. i keep finding that the people here who have DID have a tendency to vanish. i’m beginning to think its because of me - for those i’ve tried to communicate with anyway. i really miss those with DID who are not here anymore. i want to communicate with people who i think have similar conditions to me so much that maybe i over do it. i know i’m not with DID but i do believe i have ESD. that’s why i have my own thread about it. but i’ve been in therapy which has been bringing out the Persecutory Alter in me much more lately. i don’t want to have to get worse to get better. but now quieting things down seems impossible. being scarce here for a few days didn’t help either. and the program i’m in for childhood sexual abuse survivors and those connected touches such a sore and sensitive spot. i do want to stay in touch with you and others if possible.
I understand how therapy can do that and have experienced traumatic wounds getting touched. Very normal in my mind for it to cause internal upheaval and all kinds of diff distress than when not dealing with it. Yea, I've been wondering about the multiples not being here but I don't think it's you. It's a lack of anyone understanding here probably. Or the direct amount of triggers available in one space so easy to accidentally view. Or the fact that sometimes multiples have parts or alters who don't agree with what they are doing.
What is ESD?
I'm glad to connect too, and it doesn't matter if you are full on d.i.d. or not, just anyone who gets what having alters from trauma is like is a baseline familiarity that's nice. Even if you are coconscious. Any form of extreme dissociation.
What's a tagline?
I hope you are okay and if we connect I'll try not to simply vanish. I highly doubt it's you why they aren't here. I didn't read back through all the posts at all when I realized they were probably all gone. But I kinda want to. -Rin
 

extraterrestrialone

phoned home, no one answered
SF Supporter
#79
Its Ego State Disorder. In my simple way of explaining since i’m no doctor, its similar to DID, however the alter(s) do not take over the conscious body. you can see at the bottome of my post (hopefully) the ”signature” line(s), it says Ego State Disorder. that is a link to my thread about it. i posted an interesting article and i think some other people posted some interesting stuff too
my tagline is what it says below my dandelion avatar. hmm, where/when did i say that anyway!
 
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Catch_22

Well-Known Member
#80
Its Ego State Disorder. In my simple way of explaining since i’m no doctor, its similar to DID, however the alter(s) do not take over the conscious body. you can see at the bottome of my post (hopefully) the ”signature” line(s), it says Ego State Disorder. that is a link to my thread about it. i posted an interesting article and i think some other people posted some interesting stuff too
my tagline is what it says below my dandelion avatar. hmm, where/when did i say that anyway!
Ha. To the last sentence. Feel that and relate to losing superpowers. I will read it when a part can. I'm curious how alters exist if they don't take over the conscious body. Are they head mates as some people call parts who exist with no body?
 

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