Trigger Warning - I have suffered with Anorexia for a couple of years got admitted in hospital because I was doing it for a recource of self harm but also felt ugly and gross in my own body and waking up wanting to be a model.
I just find it hard to hold on with the progress and I was doing so well fighting the facts of yes I am a person with a disorder but That maybe someone might like someone with hardly anything only bone
It made me feel so insecure.
I am so hungry and I am crying to try and reach the thought to eat but I can't. I was doing so well apart from my self harm but regards of my eating and i was slowly putting on weight but then went down a hill and lost weight and got admitted in hospital because I was very unwell and I was so close to dying from little food or water and I made myself very poorly.
I cried every night wanting to loose weight i wanted to be prettier and thats when I said i will start eating and wont starve myself to when i had to get rushed into hospital, it was 2 years ago that happened. I started doing well I put lots of weight on and started seeing my life changing but then On Tiktok i came across this account and it had tips for girls trying to loose weight and TW die. So i looked and it scarred me and i broke down and did silly things.
By then my daughter was 2 and I was in immense pain, I was so skinny my blood pressure kept making me faint i used to not be able to move out of bed due to be so unwell because i wanted to loose weight and to die.
I lost so much i got rushed into hospital and kept in for 2 days. i got home and felt like shit, my life was not going to get better it was getting worse i was breaking apart my whole life was turning into crumbs.
Today, I feel so sick to eat I am at a stable weight for now and I of course do want to change my eating pattern but i self harmed recently and I have to look at it constantly because the blood. I am so down today and I want to eat, my doctor ordered tests to see if i am getting unwell again and i have a appointment on Monday but I hope i dont have to be put in on any medication as i am on enough. how do i keep the doctor away Help
It made me think one day that maybe i dont have to kill myself maybe the pain and the weight loss might do it for me as i cant be here anymore. sorry if i ranted on just wanted to let it all out
I just find it hard to hold on with the progress and I was doing so well fighting the facts of yes I am a person with a disorder but That maybe someone might like someone with hardly anything only bone
It made me feel so insecure. I am so hungry and I am crying to try and reach the thought to eat but I can't. I was doing so well apart from my self harm but regards of my eating and i was slowly putting on weight but then went down a hill and lost weight and got admitted in hospital because I was very unwell and I was so close to dying from little food or water and I made myself very poorly.
I cried every night wanting to loose weight i wanted to be prettier and thats when I said i will start eating and wont starve myself to when i had to get rushed into hospital, it was 2 years ago that happened. I started doing well I put lots of weight on and started seeing my life changing but then On Tiktok i came across this account and it had tips for girls trying to loose weight and TW die. So i looked and it scarred me and i broke down and did silly things.
By then my daughter was 2 and I was in immense pain, I was so skinny my blood pressure kept making me faint i used to not be able to move out of bed due to be so unwell because i wanted to loose weight and to die.
I lost so much i got rushed into hospital and kept in for 2 days. i got home and felt like shit, my life was not going to get better it was getting worse i was breaking apart my whole life was turning into crumbs.
Today, I feel so sick to eat I am at a stable weight for now and I of course do want to change my eating pattern but i self harmed recently and I have to look at it constantly because the blood. I am so down today and I want to eat, my doctor ordered tests to see if i am getting unwell again and i have a appointment on Monday but I hope i dont have to be put in on any medication as i am on enough. how do i keep the doctor away
HelpIt made me think one day that maybe i dont have to kill myself maybe the pain and the weight loss might do it for me as i cant be here anymore. sorry if i ranted on just wanted to let it all out