Hi, I’m 17, and I think my parents may be verbally/emotionally abusing me but I’m uncertain. They make negative comments/jokes that I find insulting to my appearance and my intelligence, among other things. They reserve the right to go through my phone with or without my permission or knowledge and have done so in very sneaky ways. My mom doesn’t knock before coming into my room. She seems to be at least somewhat emotionally dependent on me, to a point that she has told me about her and my dad’s marital issues. She can be quite passive aggressive sometimes, too. At times she clearly favors my older brother over me. My dad often gets angry to the point of temper tantrums (screaming, cursing, one time he even started jumping up and down.) I suspect I’ve had anxiety and depression for 3-4 years now, but I haven’t been able to see anyone for a diagnosis or help due to my parents. I think that’s all of it but I could be missing some stuff. If it would be helpful, I’m ok with people private messaging me for specific examples of such behavior.
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Hi
It sounds like your parents are pretty rough around the edges. I can't tell if what you're saying is actually abusive or not by what you write but it sounds as though you can probably stick this out until you can move out. Would you be allowed to get a job? This would allow you to get out of the house more often while also saving money to move out when you turn 18.
It sounds like your parents are pretty rough around the edges. I can't tell if what you're saying is actually abusive or not by what you write but it sounds as though you can probably stick this out until you can move out. Would you be allowed to get a job? This would allow you to get out of the house more often while also saving money to move out when you turn 18.
I can’t get a job until college because I don’t have my license yet, and even then I’m going to have to hide it from my parents because they don’t want me to work during college as much as possible. I’m not really moving out when I turn 18, I’ll technically still live with them when I’m not at college.
Sorry that you're going through this
You didn't specifically ask for advice, so please ignore the following and accept my apologies if advice is unwanted.
If you are in the US, you might want to try calling 211. They may be able to help connect you to healthcare if you explain the situation.
While generally "honesty is the best policy", it's more important that you get the medical treatment that you need than to be honest with your parents. I wonder if you could claim to need to see the doctor for some other reason, but then ask about treatments for depression and anxiety.
If you call your doctor's office, you might be able to ask about confidentiality. I don't think they'd be obligated to tell your parents what you're being treated for, but I'm not completely sure.
There's also some information about treatments in my signature links, including some self-treatment methods.
Here's a copy of the links in case you're on a phone
Treating Depression, Anxiety, Insomnia and General Help
Acupressure Self-Massage for Depression, Insomnia, and Anxiety
If your school has a psychological counseling office, you might want to try to arrange an appointment.
Some schools will let you stay in a dorm during some vacations.
There can also be certain kinds of jobs/summer jobs (e.g., live-in care for the elderly or disabled) that can include housing as part of the job.
I hope something can help
You didn't specifically ask for advice, so please ignore the following and accept my apologies if advice is unwanted.
If you are in the US, you might want to try calling 211. They may be able to help connect you to healthcare if you explain the situation.
While generally "honesty is the best policy", it's more important that you get the medical treatment that you need than to be honest with your parents. I wonder if you could claim to need to see the doctor for some other reason, but then ask about treatments for depression and anxiety.
If you call your doctor's office, you might be able to ask about confidentiality. I don't think they'd be obligated to tell your parents what you're being treated for, but I'm not completely sure.
There's also some information about treatments in my signature links, including some self-treatment methods.
Here's a copy of the links in case you're on a phone
Treating Depression, Anxiety, Insomnia and General Help
Acupressure Self-Massage for Depression, Insomnia, and Anxiety
If your school has a psychological counseling office, you might want to try to arrange an appointment.
Some schools will let you stay in a dorm during some vacations.
There can also be certain kinds of jobs/summer jobs (e.g., live-in care for the elderly or disabled) that can include housing as part of the job.
I hope something can help
