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Very angry
- Thread starter sadhart
- Start date
Hey it's not rambling. It's ok to talk about what's going on.
That sounds like it could be good, I hope you like it.
That sounds like it could be good, I hope you like it.
It was okay. The hours I went didn't have a lot of people in attendance and so I had to share during the meeting which can be hard to do, especially if I don't really have much to say in relation to the topic.
Well, the thing is, usually, someone comes up with a topic to discuss. For the first meeting, the topic was gratitude. The second one was a little complex in that someone brought up how they were thinking about past members of AA who are no longer alive and just remembering what they did for them. But in both cases, yes, what you say has to stay in relation to alcohol for the most part.
@sadhart — sounds like those meetings could draw lots of feelings, memories, and new thoughts. I’m glad you went. You set the goal and carried it through. That’s excellent and you can be pleased with yourself for that! I imagine connecting things to alcohol can become a bit challenging depending on the topic. But that would be why so many different things could come out of going. Again, excellent of you to do it! 
I imagine connecting things to alcohol can become a bit challenging depending on the topic. But that would be why so many different things could come out of going. Again, excellent of you to do it!
@sadhart — sounds like those meetings could draw lots of feelings, memories, and new thoughts. I’m glad you went. You set the goal and carried it through. That’s excellent and you can be pleased with yourself for that! I imagine connecting things to alcohol can become a bit challenging depending on the topic. But that would be why so many different things could come out of going. Again, excellent of you to do it!
I imagine connecting things to alcohol can become a bit challenging depending on the topic. But that would be why so many different things could come out of going. Again, excellent of you to do it!
I went out this morning because a couple of local stores were opening early. It was hard though. Same reasons as other times going out.
You know...it really hurts living and doing so not bring worth love and acceptance. And yes, I know I say that alot and yes,maybe I will say it ten years from now. But I don't know how to ignore it or pretend that I'm not hurting over past rejections or other painful things. I really hate life because I can buy stuff all day but the thing I desire most will never be possible.
I'm sorry for continuing to be negative like this. But it's hard holding all this in.
It's interesting to me that we all feel like we have to apologize for having negative thoughts, even though this is a depression and suicide forum. You are allowed to say how you feel!
I think it's great you are going to meetings. And please do not assume you are not worthy of love and acceptance - everyone is, and so are you. Everyone deserves love. If we don't get it, it really doesn't mean anything as it can just be our circumstances or our fears/social anxiety. Our outer personality/charm isn't a choice we make. Who wouldn't choose to be liked and loved? We are all way too worried what others think. You are allowed to exist whether or not others validate your existence. You are among friends here
I think it's great you are going to meetings. And please do not assume you are not worthy of love and acceptance - everyone is, and so are you. Everyone deserves love. If we don't get it, it really doesn't mean anything as it can just be our circumstances or our fears/social anxiety. Our outer personality/charm isn't a choice we make. Who wouldn't choose to be liked and loved? We are all way too worried what others think. You are allowed to exist whether or not others validate your existence. You are among friends here
Since feeling like other people are worthy of love and acceptance but that you're not, and also having a lot of bad memories are issues for you, maybe you could talk about them. I'm guessing that those are things that led you to drink in the first place, and that the topic might resonate with a lot of other members.
I feel like if a meeting focused on a subject that you wanted to talk about, that might help a lot.
I feel like if a meeting focused on a subject that you wanted to talk about, that might help a lot.
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Like @Lady Wolfshead said, it's ok to talk about how you feel.
Have you ever found that when you do let loose and talk about yourself people are not interested? I don’t get it. Damned if we don’t and damned if we do talk about ourselves.
I personally see the bottom line is finding people or someone that is similar to us. That is hard when we have so many different attributes. How to get your values, hobbies, temperament, economics, education, culture etc to match another is really challenging. And then to actually find each other.
I personally see the bottom line is finding people or someone that is similar to us. That is hard when we have so many different attributes. How to get your values, hobbies, temperament, economics, education, culture etc to match another is really challenging. And then to actually find each other.
Firstly stop saying sorry.
I like you that's why I reply every now and then.
Secondly, I could come over all false and be full of empathy. Write stuff like... I'm sorry you feel that way, or don't worry mate it will be better one day, or quote stuff form Winston Churchill like 'if you're going through hell, keep going'
But that's not me, and I've been where you are and was there for just over 10 years. I heard how I should be and think from therapists, I buzzed off there drugs, and nothing worked because there is no magic fix.
One thing that is different about you from me though, and maybe it's my fault for failing to understand this, but I'm not going to say sorry.
You seem to worry a lot about what people think of you, yet everything we have ever chatted about on here only ever gives me the impression you are a nice chap. Why do you care so much about what people think of you?
You've never been rude on here, you've never swore or thrown a fit, yet you're constantly beating yourself up most of the time.
Why can't you understand you are a nice person, and why can't you understand a lot of people are not nice people.
Stop hanging with the arseholes, I know you might have to work with them but that's all it is, 'work'
Stop letting people take the piss and mugging you off. Understand this is what people do cuz they are lazy and controlling, it doesn't mean you have to be rude, just do your job and fkcu there job.
Let them screw it up and get the sack.
Outside of work mix with people like yourself, you'll find these people at places you like going, like the games conference you went to or worried about going too.
Treat the people on the roads the same, you don't have to drive like a nutter but understand the roads are as much yours as they are there's.
You can overthink everything for years if you wish to stay here for years, your life is your time to do with as you wish.
One thing I know about you that lays deep down inside of me, if anybody on this planet deserves to be happy then it's you. But I can't sit here and blow smoke up your arse, you're the only one that has the key to unlock all of this and move forward in comfort. Like I've said before life isn't forever, you can choose how you wish to spend whatever time you have dedicated to your life on this planet.
Until you start realising you are not a bad bloke and challenging yourself every time you listen to that little voice we all have within us, saying that you're a loser or just no good, then nothing will change until you challenge this.
It takes an energy to challenge yourself, and I'm afraid that using this energy is the only magic fix you will ever find that gets you out of this hole.
I like you that's why I reply every now and then.
Secondly, I could come over all false and be full of empathy. Write stuff like... I'm sorry you feel that way, or don't worry mate it will be better one day, or quote stuff form Winston Churchill like 'if you're going through hell, keep going'
But that's not me, and I've been where you are and was there for just over 10 years. I heard how I should be and think from therapists, I buzzed off there drugs, and nothing worked because there is no magic fix.
One thing that is different about you from me though, and maybe it's my fault for failing to understand this, but I'm not going to say sorry.
You seem to worry a lot about what people think of you, yet everything we have ever chatted about on here only ever gives me the impression you are a nice chap. Why do you care so much about what people think of you?
You've never been rude on here, you've never swore or thrown a fit, yet you're constantly beating yourself up most of the time.
Why can't you understand you are a nice person, and why can't you understand a lot of people are not nice people.
Stop hanging with the arseholes, I know you might have to work with them but that's all it is, 'work'
Stop letting people take the piss and mugging you off. Understand this is what people do cuz they are lazy and controlling, it doesn't mean you have to be rude, just do your job and fkcu there job.
Let them screw it up and get the sack.
Outside of work mix with people like yourself, you'll find these people at places you like going, like the games conference you went to or worried about going too.
Treat the people on the roads the same, you don't have to drive like a nutter but understand the roads are as much yours as they are there's.
You can overthink everything for years if you wish to stay here for years, your life is your time to do with as you wish.
One thing I know about you that lays deep down inside of me, if anybody on this planet deserves to be happy then it's you. But I can't sit here and blow smoke up your arse, you're the only one that has the key to unlock all of this and move forward in comfort. Like I've said before life isn't forever, you can choose how you wish to spend whatever time you have dedicated to your life on this planet.
Until you start realising you are not a bad bloke and challenging yourself every time you listen to that little voice we all have within us, saying that you're a loser or just no good, then nothing will change until you challenge this.
It takes an energy to challenge yourself, and I'm afraid that using this energy is the only magic fix you will ever find that gets you out of this hole.
Firstly stop saying sorry.
I like you that's why I reply every now and then.
Secondly, I could come over all false and be full of empathy. Write stuff like... I'm sorry you feel that way, or don't worry mate it will be better one day, or quote stuff form Winston Churchill like 'if you're going through hell, keep going'
But that's not me, and I've been where you are and was there for just over 10 years. I heard how I should be and think from therapists, I buzzed off there drugs, and nothing worked because there is no magic fix.
One thing that is different about you from me though, and maybe it's my fault for failing to understand this, but I'm not going to say sorry.
You seem to worry a lot about what people think of you, yet everything we have ever chatted about on here only ever gives me the impression you are a nice chap. Why do you care so much about what people think of you?
You've never been rude on here, you've never swore or thrown a fit, yet you're constantly beating yourself up most of the time.
Why can't you understand you are a nice person, and why can't you understand a lot of people are not nice people.
Stop hanging with the arseholes, I know you might have to work with them but that's all it is, 'work'
Stop letting people take the piss and mugging you off. Understand this is what people do cuz they are lazy and controlling, it doesn't mean you have to be rude, just do your job and fkcu there job.
Let them screw it up and get the sack.
Outside of work mix with people like yourself, you'll find these people at places you like going, like the games conference you went to or worried about going too.
Treat the people on the roads the same, you don't have to drive like a nutter but understand the roads are as much yours as they are there's.
You can overthink everything for years if you wish to stay here for years, your life is your time to do with as you wish.
One thing I know about you that lays deep down inside of me, if anybody on this planet deserves to be happy then it's you. But I can't sit here and blow smoke up your arse, you're the only one that has the key to unlock all of this and move forward in comfort. Like I've said before life isn't forever, you can choose how you wish to spend whatever time you have dedicated to your life on this planet.
Until you start realising you are not a bad bloke and challenging yourself every time you listen to that little voice we all have within us, saying that you're a loser or just no good, then nothing will change until you challenge this.
It takes an energy to challenge yourself, and I'm afraid that using this energy is the only magic fix you will ever find that gets you out of this hole.
I like you that's why I reply every now and then.
Secondly, I could come over all false and be full of empathy. Write stuff like... I'm sorry you feel that way, or don't worry mate it will be better one day, or quote stuff form Winston Churchill like 'if you're going through hell, keep going'
But that's not me, and I've been where you are and was there for just over 10 years. I heard how I should be and think from therapists, I buzzed off there drugs, and nothing worked because there is no magic fix.
One thing that is different about you from me though, and maybe it's my fault for failing to understand this, but I'm not going to say sorry.
You seem to worry a lot about what people think of you, yet everything we have ever chatted about on here only ever gives me the impression you are a nice chap. Why do you care so much about what people think of you?
You've never been rude on here, you've never swore or thrown a fit, yet you're constantly beating yourself up most of the time.
Why can't you understand you are a nice person, and why can't you understand a lot of people are not nice people.
Stop hanging with the arseholes, I know you might have to work with them but that's all it is, 'work'
Stop letting people take the piss and mugging you off. Understand this is what people do cuz they are lazy and controlling, it doesn't mean you have to be rude, just do your job and fkcu there job.
Let them screw it up and get the sack.
Outside of work mix with people like yourself, you'll find these people at places you like going, like the games conference you went to or worried about going too.
Treat the people on the roads the same, you don't have to drive like a nutter but understand the roads are as much yours as they are there's.
You can overthink everything for years if you wish to stay here for years, your life is your time to do with as you wish.
One thing I know about you that lays deep down inside of me, if anybody on this planet deserves to be happy then it's you. But I can't sit here and blow smoke up your arse, you're the only one that has the key to unlock all of this and move forward in comfort. Like I've said before life isn't forever, you can choose how you wish to spend whatever time you have dedicated to your life on this planet.
Until you start realising you are not a bad bloke and challenging yourself every time you listen to that little voice we all have within us, saying that you're a loser or just no good, then nothing will change until you challenge this.
It takes an energy to challenge yourself, and I'm afraid that using this energy is the only magic fix you will ever find that gets you out of this hole.
I've noticed that it is so draining for us who hate ourselves.
i have to - a little bit - disagree with ib4uib when they said they could, "come over all false and be full of empathy...". It's not false when I say I say I am sorry you feel this way. And Because for some of us we are at leaat at the moment stuck in a place where there's a need for empathy. I mean some of us are so tired & worn that the only bright spots are those of recieving some empathy & understanding.
i have to - a little bit - disagree with ib4uib when they said they could, "come over all false and be full of empathy...". It's not false when I say I say I am sorry you feel this way. And Because for some of us we are at leaat at the moment stuck in a place where there's a need for empathy. I mean some of us are so tired & worn that the only bright spots are those of recieving some empathy & understanding.