Wandering around aimlessly

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by lightning05, Apr 2, 2016.

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  1. lightning05

    lightning05 Well-Known Member

    I don't know where to go in order to not cry or feel bad. Inside my house I am sad but when I walk around outside to try and clear my mind I still keep crying. I'm worried I might start being seen as the crazy person who always walks around for hours crying. I wish I had more to occupy my time, this unemployment is so difficult. I want to be alone yet want someone to talk to. Every time someone talks to me I want to cry. I want relief from feeling like this, this is what drives me to become suicidal. It has been a long week of feeling like this. I want to get in my car and go somewhere but I don't trust myself to drive. Lost and hopeless is what I feel right now and it is so painful.
     
  2. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    It's good though that you do go outside and get some air. Are you listening to music when you do that? Perhaps make yourself a soundtrack you can listen to when you go for those walks?

    You are going through a healing process right now, and that is very tough, but you are on the road to getting better! Don't forget that hun!
     
  3. Striking

    Striking Well-Known Member

    Unemployment is rough. I feel that your desire to cry when talking to someone is the isolation letting you know it's affecting you. Unemployment has a way of doing that.

    If work is not coming try volunteering even if it's with a neighbor who needs help walking a dog. The park is a great place to find someone . Retirement community or rest home, those old folks will keep you entertained with stories at the very least.

    Keep reaching out until the isolation doesn't have as strong a hold on you. One minute, hour, day at a time
     
    lightning05 and Jenumbra like this.
  4. lightning05

    lightning05 Well-Known Member

    I think my desire to cry is coming from trying to "keep it together" also in front of others. I've finally taken a huge step and told my parents (who I now live with) the way I'm feeling and noticed that it helped me feel better. It's so hard to keep it bottled up, so at least I don't have to pretend to be happy so much anymore. I don't think they understand at all what it's like to feel like this, but they have not been negative in any way. I feel isolated because I'm the only one in my inner circle like "this" (major depression and suicidal).

    @ThePhantomLady I like to listen to the birds and nature sounds when I walk, sometimes with headphones on I get inside my own head. In my house I need to listen to music because I tend to keep it silent and that makes the loneliness more intense. Thank you for bringing that up so I can remember to do that.

    @Striking volunteer work is a good suggestion. I will look around. An animal shelter might help.
     
    Striking likes this.
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