Why all this emphasis on abandoning religion to be your "true self"? First of all, I highly doubt there is such a thing as lofty as one's "true self". This sense of self-importance is what isolates us from one another. Everybody goes around pitying themselves, thinking that nobody understands them or ever will because it's romantic to think that way. The truth is, most people probably understand you (us) because they too are humans muddling through the very same things. I know it's kind of a let-down to realize this, but the sooner you do, the happier you'll be. The commonality of the human experience is after all what connects us.
What reasons behind Teenagers suicide?
- Thread starter Boratz
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i agree with res, last year and this year my step dad always tell's me That cause I'm a teenagers i have nothing to worry about. But as other said they do, alot of family these days are getting divorce, losing money or losing there homes/jobs. The world wasn't like this when are parents were growing up.
Response to original post:
Not to patronize what you said, but there are problems that exist beyond adult responsibilities like mortgage payments and other bills. Verbal, physical, and sexual abuse or isolation from friends and family can destroy our "happy" and "care-free" teenage lives.
But even if only your archetypal problems are the case, they can still greatly affect young people granted that they understand the concept of money. If you are a teenager and your parent(s) is/are struggling financially due to drug addiction and lack of gainful employment, unable to afford rent/utilities/ample food for 3-5 children, it can instill a great sense of constant anxiety about financial matters. Preoccupation with monetary security can preclude relaxation and subsequent ability to be happy. This was the situation for my childhood.
That preoccupation is still with me at the age of 22, it has been at the forefront of my worries and kept me from being truly happy for a very long time. It will sound endlessly shallow, but I suffer from a brand of uncertainty, depression, and suicidal thought pattern that would be cured with a winning lottery ticket.
Not to patronize what you said, but there are problems that exist beyond adult responsibilities like mortgage payments and other bills. Verbal, physical, and sexual abuse or isolation from friends and family can destroy our "happy" and "care-free" teenage lives.
But even if only your archetypal problems are the case, they can still greatly affect young people granted that they understand the concept of money. If you are a teenager and your parent(s) is/are struggling financially due to drug addiction and lack of gainful employment, unable to afford rent/utilities/ample food for 3-5 children, it can instill a great sense of constant anxiety about financial matters. Preoccupation with monetary security can preclude relaxation and subsequent ability to be happy. This was the situation for my childhood.
That preoccupation is still with me at the age of 22, it has been at the forefront of my worries and kept me from being truly happy for a very long time. It will sound endlessly shallow, but I suffer from a brand of uncertainty, depression, and suicidal thought pattern that would be cured with a winning lottery ticket.
You put alot of emphasis on religion in that post Boratz. What of those who find comfort in their belief of God? Should they just stop believing in God even if he's the only thing that keeps them going?
No offence but alot of what you say is just bullshit to my ears. If you choose not to believe in God, then that's your choice but I don't believe trying to preach that we should all abandon God is such a good thing.
No offence but alot of what you say is just bullshit to my ears. If you choose not to believe in God, then that's your choice but I don't believe trying to preach that we should all abandon God is such a good thing.
If I attempt to reply to this in any meaningful way it'll probably have to be deleted. Clearly this is just too close to the nerve for me. But I will point out that another website suggests (paraphrasing here) "If you feel you must make a date for suicide, make it one year from now. The chances of you still feeling the same in a year are remote." Yet most of the teens I have encountered on here have been suffering for longer than a year. And it IS a long time when you're a teenager, but so? It's a longer time than ANYONE should be suicidal, not just teens.
Nice, Anastasia .... I've felt suicidal, yet I like to think that I'm in no way self-absorbed - how can someone who comes on here, helps out people, supports people etc, be anything but the opposite?
I have patience, foresight and the like. As Moonstar said - a year etc, is a long time for anyone, not just teens. While you may've thought that the world revolved around you when you were a teenager (just a guess made on your post, not intended to offend), I'd like to see a single teenager here who thinks it does. As far as I know, there are none, or very very few anyway.
I can see and think globally, thank you very much.
I do wish people could stop with stupid bloody generalisations and think before they speak :dry:
I have patience, foresight and the like. As Moonstar said - a year etc, is a long time for anyone, not just teens. While you may've thought that the world revolved around you when you were a teenager (just a guess made on your post, not intended to offend), I'd like to see a single teenager here who thinks it does. As far as I know, there are none, or very very few anyway.
I can see and think globally, thank you very much.
I do wish people could stop with stupid bloody generalisations and think before they speak :dry:
Teenagers have a lot of problems to deal with, peer pressure...bullying..being different from your peers, divorce, rape, abuse, family problems, domestic violence, feeling inadequate, feeling isolated from your family, having no friends, eating disorders, sibling rivary, death of a close one, and sometimes even trying to be "cool", or just to get "attention"....not financial but emotional and sometimes physical problems..
I was 15 when i took an overdose so a teenager who was suicidal...why...I was being raped most days, I was excluded from school for apprently threatening to kill a girl (although I told them time and time again I hadnm't they didn't believe me), knowing i was going to get hit big time when I got home from school, having a someone's mum come after me with a knife, never being able to go out without worrying if I was going to get stabbed to death....so I took an overdose, no one could hear anything I said, I was a living ghost.
so yeah, there are many reasons why teenagers are suicidal....at the end of the day, they human just the same as someone in their 20's, 30's, 40's
I was 15 when i took an overdose so a teenager who was suicidal...why...I was being raped most days, I was excluded from school for apprently threatening to kill a girl (although I told them time and time again I hadnm't they didn't believe me), knowing i was going to get hit big time when I got home from school, having a someone's mum come after me with a knife, never being able to go out without worrying if I was going to get stabbed to death....so I took an overdose, no one could hear anything I said, I was a living ghost.
so yeah, there are many reasons why teenagers are suicidal....at the end of the day, they human just the same as someone in their 20's, 30's, 40's
I stand by what I said. Most suicidal teens cannot see beyond their own problems and emotions. What a lot of them need is to be taken to a soup kitchen or to South Central Los Angeles to see people who REALLY have it bad.
Barring abuse, death, or a severe chemical imbalance or behavioral disorder of some sort, 99% of the problems teenagers have will be gone by the time they graduate high school. Bullying, not being liked, getting dumped by a boy/girlfriend, being betrayed by a best friend, feeling like your parents don't understand you, etc. These all seem very monumental to a teenager, when in reality, they are very temporary problems.
Many teenagers indulge in these feelings and bring themselves even lower by wallowing in their problems, listening to depressing music, writing depressing stories or poetry and re-enforcing in their minds that their pain is unique and that they somehow have a better understanding of the depth of human emotion and the meaninglessness of life.
Once we reach adulthood, we realize that our parents understood EXACTLY what we were going through because chances are, they went through it as well. Chances are, they weren't the most popular kids in school, struggled with grades, got dumped by a boyfriend or girlfriend who they thought was "the one", had rumors spread about them behind their backs and cried themselves to sleep at sleep many, many nights.
By indulging in this "nobody can understand my true pain" fantasy (and yes, it IS a fantasy), teenagers are only making it worse on themselves. The sad fact is that almost EVERYBODY understands your pain because they have themselves been there. This is what bonds us as human beings. As romantic as it seems to think of oneself as the only person who has ever felt such searing emotional pain, it is simply not true. And the sooner some teens can realize this, the easier their lives will become.
And no, a YEAR is not a long time to be going through this. A year (while it may seem long at the time) is a blip on the radar. Teens need to understand that once they get out of the little bubbles they put us all in during those years, there is a vast world out there waiting for them and that loser they dated in high school or that "best friend" who screwed around with said loser and all those people whose opinions mattered SO much will not be given a second though a few years from now.
Perspective.
Barring abuse, death, or a severe chemical imbalance or behavioral disorder of some sort, 99% of the problems teenagers have will be gone by the time they graduate high school. Bullying, not being liked, getting dumped by a boy/girlfriend, being betrayed by a best friend, feeling like your parents don't understand you, etc. These all seem very monumental to a teenager, when in reality, they are very temporary problems.
Many teenagers indulge in these feelings and bring themselves even lower by wallowing in their problems, listening to depressing music, writing depressing stories or poetry and re-enforcing in their minds that their pain is unique and that they somehow have a better understanding of the depth of human emotion and the meaninglessness of life.
Once we reach adulthood, we realize that our parents understood EXACTLY what we were going through because chances are, they went through it as well. Chances are, they weren't the most popular kids in school, struggled with grades, got dumped by a boyfriend or girlfriend who they thought was "the one", had rumors spread about them behind their backs and cried themselves to sleep at sleep many, many nights.
By indulging in this "nobody can understand my true pain" fantasy (and yes, it IS a fantasy), teenagers are only making it worse on themselves. The sad fact is that almost EVERYBODY understands your pain because they have themselves been there. This is what bonds us as human beings. As romantic as it seems to think of oneself as the only person who has ever felt such searing emotional pain, it is simply not true. And the sooner some teens can realize this, the easier their lives will become.
And no, a YEAR is not a long time to be going through this. A year (while it may seem long at the time) is a blip on the radar. Teens need to understand that once they get out of the little bubbles they put us all in during those years, there is a vast world out there waiting for them and that loser they dated in high school or that "best friend" who screwed around with said loser and all those people whose opinions mattered SO much will not be given a second though a few years from now.
Perspective.
That's the same reason I've avoided replying to that point because it generally involves the phrase "ignorant little fuckwit" mentioned repeatedly and so would be pretty much ripe for deletion. So I agree with what you say Moonstar.
And this comes into Abacus' comment which I also agree with strongly. You ask most people I know and they'll probably tell you I'm one of the most loyal, caring and selfless people they know.
Although I'm legally an adult now, so maybe before I turned 18 I was a self-absorbed motherfucker but to be honest I don't think I'd change so suddenly after turning 18.
That kind of logic sucks and doesn't make any sense.
And this comes into Abacus' comment which I also agree with strongly. You ask most people I know and they'll probably tell you I'm one of the most loyal, caring and selfless people they know.
Although I'm legally an adult now, so maybe before I turned 18 I was a self-absorbed motherfucker but to be honest I don't think I'd change so suddenly after turning 18.
That kind of logic sucks and doesn't make any sense.
Actually, it does make sense. Hormones for one thing. Once again, it's not very romantic to think that hormones just might be the cause of a great deal of the emotional instability in teens, but it's true nonetheless.
And high school. For 4 years you are thrown into a pit of vipers who would as soon spit in your face as look at you. This is understandably stressful and depressing all at once, even for the "popular kids".
And pushing boundaries. You are trapped in your parents' house under their rules just when your instinct (and body) is telling you that you are an adult and should be given autonomy to do what you please.
Top that off with first experiences with alcohol and drugs affecting an already unstable mind and body and you have a fucking powder keg waiting to explode.
Once you graduate, go to college, have some freedom and calm down from all the fucking hormones, life tends to start looking up for the vast majority of teens. Sorry. It's true.
And high school. For 4 years you are thrown into a pit of vipers who would as soon spit in your face as look at you. This is understandably stressful and depressing all at once, even for the "popular kids".
And pushing boundaries. You are trapped in your parents' house under their rules just when your instinct (and body) is telling you that you are an adult and should be given autonomy to do what you please.
Top that off with first experiences with alcohol and drugs affecting an already unstable mind and body and you have a fucking powder keg waiting to explode.
Once you graduate, go to college, have some freedom and calm down from all the fucking hormones, life tends to start looking up for the vast majority of teens. Sorry. It's true.
:dry: What ridiculous comments.
As opposed to adults, who of course can see beyond their own problems and emotions when they're suicidal? :rolleyes: At the end of the day, it is an incredibly dangerous thing to generalise with emotions - what you perceive is the norm, probably isn't, as everyone's experiences when they're suicidal / in love / grieving / any other intense emotion are different.
If you've felt suicidal yourself, then that's an even worse comment to say. No doubt if someone told you that when you were suicidal, that you should be taken to some soup kitchen in LA to see those who have it bad, you'd go ballistic at them. How is this any different?
Really? What about those who have been through abuse, have depression - be it diagnosed or not, seen things, had experiences etc, that scar them for life. I know that many teenagers here have been through that, as have adult members.
Despite they may be temporary - you, I, no-one is to judge what effect they have on people. I know that I myself was suicidal because of my first breakup, thus I came here. I still get low periods now - not through that anylonger, but perhaps it's unmasked or created depression - I don't know, but what I do know is that it is not your, or anyone's, place to put problems in a 'hierarchy'.
While it may only be a temporary problem to you - to others it may be the end of their world. Those people deserve just as much support as you, as others who have more long term issues.
Perhaps the poetry / writing stories is a way of getting things out, rather than ''wallowing in their problems'' ? A question here: have you ever been depressed / suicidal? If you have, then I ask you: Have you never ''wallowed in your problems'', or listened to music that made you feel more low? Most people - indeed, I would say 99% of people indulge in their feelings at some point.
''EXACTLY'' is a dangerous word to use with emotion. No-one can ever understand exactly how anyone else is feeling - emotion is a highly individual thing, regardless of how we like to see it, as being a universal feeling. Like it or not - two people who feel suicidal / depressed / happy / in love / grief will never experience it the same exactly, even if they feel they do.
Again - have you never ever felt that?
No. A year IS a long time. It doesn't feel like it to you, because (presumably), you've been feeling suicidal, depressed etc for much longer than that, and all the days, months, years blur together. To be honest, this trivialising of teenagers' problems, believing us all to be the same is, quite frankly insulting. You're effectively saying that our problems are less important than yours, because they're just trivial little things. Well, ok - perhaps they are.
But 1) Who are you to judge anyone else's feelings?
2) Why they may feel trivial and pointless to you, they may mean the world to someone else.
Indeed. I could fire this back at you, and say that perspective is the buzzword of the thread - while you believe you have all the answers, and that all our problems are trivial. I can solidly assure you - they're not.
As opposed to adults, who of course can see beyond their own problems and emotions when they're suicidal? :rolleyes: At the end of the day, it is an incredibly dangerous thing to generalise with emotions - what you perceive is the norm, probably isn't, as everyone's experiences when they're suicidal / in love / grieving / any other intense emotion are different.
If you've felt suicidal yourself, then that's an even worse comment to say. No doubt if someone told you that when you were suicidal, that you should be taken to some soup kitchen in LA to see those who have it bad, you'd go ballistic at them. How is this any different?
Really? What about those who have been through abuse, have depression - be it diagnosed or not, seen things, had experiences etc, that scar them for life. I know that many teenagers here have been through that, as have adult members.
Despite they may be temporary - you, I, no-one is to judge what effect they have on people. I know that I myself was suicidal because of my first breakup, thus I came here. I still get low periods now - not through that anylonger, but perhaps it's unmasked or created depression - I don't know, but what I do know is that it is not your, or anyone's, place to put problems in a 'hierarchy'.
While it may only be a temporary problem to you - to others it may be the end of their world. Those people deserve just as much support as you, as others who have more long term issues.
Perhaps the poetry / writing stories is a way of getting things out, rather than ''wallowing in their problems'' ? A question here: have you ever been depressed / suicidal? If you have, then I ask you: Have you never ''wallowed in your problems'', or listened to music that made you feel more low? Most people - indeed, I would say 99% of people indulge in their feelings at some point.
''EXACTLY'' is a dangerous word to use with emotion. No-one can ever understand exactly how anyone else is feeling - emotion is a highly individual thing, regardless of how we like to see it, as being a universal feeling. Like it or not - two people who feel suicidal / depressed / happy / in love / grief will never experience it the same exactly, even if they feel they do.
Again - have you never ever felt that?
No. A year IS a long time. It doesn't feel like it to you, because (presumably), you've been feeling suicidal, depressed etc for much longer than that, and all the days, months, years blur together. To be honest, this trivialising of teenagers' problems, believing us all to be the same is, quite frankly insulting. You're effectively saying that our problems are less important than yours, because they're just trivial little things. Well, ok - perhaps they are.
But 1) Who are you to judge anyone else's feelings?
2) Why they may feel trivial and pointless to you, they may mean the world to someone else.
Indeed. I could fire this back at you, and say that perspective is the buzzword of the thread - while you believe you have all the answers, and that all our problems are trivial. I can solidly assure you - they're not.
I have to admit I do see part of where you are coming from Anastasia. Surely you must have realised that your posts would be incendiary, though.
As a more personal reaction - as Joe has given above, clearly :laugh: - I think dismissing bullying as temporary is very foolish. The effects of bullying can last for years. I have been here since the age of 15 and I have indeed "grown up" and have just finished my second year of university - things you claim make a difference. Nonetheless what happened to me at school - with one girl in particular - has destroyed my confidence so much that some days I can't stand to look at myself in a mirror, and forget about taking compliments. Even the simplest praise can start huge arguments.
I guess that was all I wanted to say.
As a more personal reaction - as Joe has given above, clearly :laugh: - I think dismissing bullying as temporary is very foolish. The effects of bullying can last for years. I have been here since the age of 15 and I have indeed "grown up" and have just finished my second year of university - things you claim make a difference. Nonetheless what happened to me at school - with one girl in particular - has destroyed my confidence so much that some days I can't stand to look at myself in a mirror, and forget about taking compliments. Even the simplest praise can start huge arguments.
I guess that was all I wanted to say.
Yes being a teenager does mean having not that much finantional responsibility but there is more to depression then just worrying about bills. There are lots of things that can trigger depression. Losing a family member can make a teenager depressed, breaking up with a partner heartbreak is horrible for any teenager, divorce as well all know divorce rates are rising all over the world and seeing your family fall apart must be horrible trouble with peers or teachers from school can make a teenager depressed academic stress is horrible for any teen especially when there is pressure from the parents to perform highly.
I am not going to list all the triggers that could make a teenager depressed because frankly every teenager here has their own reasons to be depressed no one has the right to question their depression as this forum is to help and comfort those who are depressed. Also to your remark about people who wear make up being pathetic I think that is very untrue some girls do it just to make themselves feel good which is perfectly fine.
I am not going to list all the triggers that could make a teenager depressed because frankly every teenager here has their own reasons to be depressed no one has the right to question their depression as this forum is to help and comfort those who are depressed. Also to your remark about people who wear make up being pathetic I think that is very untrue some girls do it just to make themselves feel good which is perfectly fine.
No, as opposed to adults, who generally would be able to see that such problems are temporary and who have developed the coping skills to deal with them.
And maybe I would have gone ballistic being shown people who are so much less fortunate than myself. That would be embarrassing in retrospect.
I already said that the abused are exempt from this little rant.
Of course they deserve support and that support may not come in a way that they want to hear. I personally find it very encouraging to know that most other teens go through the same shit and still manage to pull themselves through it.
Oh, yes I certainly have indulged in that sort of behavior, especially as a teen. I only wish I had known then that those indulgences were selfish and self-serving and that they did absolutely nothing to help me out of my hole. Sitting around listening to angry music about suicide or writing about how much I hated my family and my life were a complete waste of time.
Point taken.
Again - have you never ever felt that?
I am not judging other people's feelings. I am judging their reactions to these feelings because 9 times of 10, they serve only to make things worse. We cannot control our feelings, but we can absolutely control our reactions to them. This is the age where we need to mature and develop the coping skills that will carry us through the rest of our lives.
And re: myself, I am no longer suicidal like I was when I was a teen, so this isn't about years blurring together. It is about experience. I was a depressed teenager after my Dad died and my Mom married his brother 6 months later and then left the state with him and my brother. I refused to go and was basically homeless for 3 months because my friends turned out not to be my friends at all (unless you count trying to hook up with my boyfriend friendly). I slept on rooftops and showered and shaved at the beach. I got tattoos, I carved shit into my arms and legs. My own Mother called the cops on me for brandishing a knife at her and used to sleep with a barricade against her door because she thought I would try to murder her in her sleep. I was nearly sent to prison for several years for committing a serious crime. I was in a very VERY tumultuous relationship at the time and had my heart broken. I was nearly sent to Covenant House for crying out loud but instead was sent to live with a weirdo minister and his family. I stopped caring what I looked like and cut off all my hair. I listened to depressing music and wrote depressing words. I engaged in extremely high-risk behavior and substance abuse. I was violent I was basically having a 2-year long nervous breakdown.
Now, none of this is a bid for sympathy, just to illustrate that yes, I understand teenage angst and depression. I wasn't exactly having an easy go.
What changed? My perspective. I realized that I could continue living like that for years, being angry and sad and having a big fat chip on my shoulder about the world and the people in it, or I could accept that I had no control over the rest of the world, but that I DID have control over myself and my own actions. I moved on, forgave my Mother, got new friends, went away to school. I realized that instead of wandering around grief-stricken and feeling that I was the most unfortunate person to ever walk the planet because of my Dad's death, that I should feel Goddamned LUCKY to have had such an amazing person in my life for as long as I did.
I realized that I was responsible for the person I CHOSE to be regardless of my circumstances. And I realize now that had I understood this earlier, it would have saved me a LOT of sadness. I stopped worrying about the things I couldn't control and began focusing on the things I could do something about.
And maybe I would have gone ballistic being shown people who are so much less fortunate than myself. That would be embarrassing in retrospect.
I already said that the abused are exempt from this little rant.
Of course they deserve support and that support may not come in a way that they want to hear. I personally find it very encouraging to know that most other teens go through the same shit and still manage to pull themselves through it.
Oh, yes I certainly have indulged in that sort of behavior, especially as a teen. I only wish I had known then that those indulgences were selfish and self-serving and that they did absolutely nothing to help me out of my hole. Sitting around listening to angry music about suicide or writing about how much I hated my family and my life were a complete waste of time.
Point taken.
Again - have you never ever felt that?
I am not judging other people's feelings. I am judging their reactions to these feelings because 9 times of 10, they serve only to make things worse. We cannot control our feelings, but we can absolutely control our reactions to them. This is the age where we need to mature and develop the coping skills that will carry us through the rest of our lives.
And re: myself, I am no longer suicidal like I was when I was a teen, so this isn't about years blurring together. It is about experience. I was a depressed teenager after my Dad died and my Mom married his brother 6 months later and then left the state with him and my brother. I refused to go and was basically homeless for 3 months because my friends turned out not to be my friends at all (unless you count trying to hook up with my boyfriend friendly). I slept on rooftops and showered and shaved at the beach. I got tattoos, I carved shit into my arms and legs. My own Mother called the cops on me for brandishing a knife at her and used to sleep with a barricade against her door because she thought I would try to murder her in her sleep. I was nearly sent to prison for several years for committing a serious crime. I was in a very VERY tumultuous relationship at the time and had my heart broken. I was nearly sent to Covenant House for crying out loud but instead was sent to live with a weirdo minister and his family. I stopped caring what I looked like and cut off all my hair. I listened to depressing music and wrote depressing words. I engaged in extremely high-risk behavior and substance abuse. I was violent I was basically having a 2-year long nervous breakdown.
Now, none of this is a bid for sympathy, just to illustrate that yes, I understand teenage angst and depression. I wasn't exactly having an easy go.
What changed? My perspective. I realized that I could continue living like that for years, being angry and sad and having a big fat chip on my shoulder about the world and the people in it, or I could accept that I had no control over the rest of the world, but that I DID have control over myself and my own actions. I moved on, forgave my Mother, got new friends, went away to school. I realized that instead of wandering around grief-stricken and feeling that I was the most unfortunate person to ever walk the planet because of my Dad's death, that I should feel Goddamned LUCKY to have had such an amazing person in my life for as long as I did.
I realized that I was responsible for the person I CHOSE to be regardless of my circumstances. And I realize now that had I understood this earlier, it would have saved me a LOT of sadness. I stopped worrying about the things I couldn't control and began focusing on the things I could do something about.
teenagers have lots of reasons behind suicide or suicidal feelings.
broken relationships, loss of loved ones, self image and confidence, social anxiety, eating disorders, abuse, bullying.... the list goes on.
i agree that your teenage years should be filled with fun and no worries. however, i've just turned 16 and ever since i was thirteen i've had major depression - which started by fighting with my mum.
my teenage years have been hell, and i dont think its going to get better anytime soon.
broken relationships, loss of loved ones, self image and confidence, social anxiety, eating disorders, abuse, bullying.... the list goes on.
i agree that your teenage years should be filled with fun and no worries. however, i've just turned 16 and ever since i was thirteen i've had major depression - which started by fighting with my mum.
my teenage years have been hell, and i dont think its going to get better anytime soon.
F
It seems to me that “prescribing” perspective is like trying to convince a blind man who has never seen the sky, that it is in fact blue. Rather futile, except perhaps for the person who tries it anyway, and will likely feel superior in their knowledge (actually it isn’t blue at all, and they would be wrong – it’s an atmospheric phenomenon).
Yes, foresight as well as hindsight *may* come with age and experience, but it’s by no means a given (especially considering the legion individual experiences that each of us have had in combination, many of them unfathomable) – it rather sounds very much like that platitudinous “everything will work out!”.
And again, as for perspective, what does one tell people at the soup kitchen – that they’re far better off than earthquake victims who don’t even have a place to sit? Or tell a homeless person that there are no dumpsters to fish discarded restaurant food out of in the slums of Calcutta? Sweet. How is that at all useful? How does it in fact ‘help’ someone to diminish if not negate their problems, and insisting, without compassion (nevermind empathy – an even rarer commodity), that the sky is indeed blue? There’s a vast difference between "enabling” someone, and showing understanding/compassion by acknowledging them. And those who think themselves “mature” and yet don’t know the difference, still have much to learn. Nevermind that trying to show/express such things is also a learned, and as well, rare art - speaking "with" someone, and not "at" them.
As for expressing oneself, I can only speak for myself, though I do in fact recommend it to others…there is not a single poem or bit of writing that I have ever regretted or was embarrassed by in putting to paper. It is not only cathartic, it validates and helps make 'concrete' emotions that are very real, even if they are conflicting or confusing – even “negative”. They’re “explorations”. They can help sort things out in the end. As well, they’re exercises in creativity – something we’d all do well to hold onto since it’s often “trained’ out of us after childhood – and that goes for *any* form one chooses to express themselves in. They’re also a record of where one has been in their journey. And they are no more self-indulgent, actually even far less so than someone (mature and wise :dry
discussing with their neighbour whether to use fresh basil or dried in their freakin’ pasta sauce. Like who bloody cares, y’know?
It is *all* relative.
And the vast majority of us will indeed “wallow” in something utterly overwhelming to us, not once, but many times in our lives. There is no ‘prescribed’ time limit on grief, however it manifests itself. And many scars in fact, do not heal.
And without acknowledging these simple but profound notions, “superior & ultimate hindsight” really isn’t worth much at all. Nevermind that declaring one is in possession of it, is often more likely to simply fall on deaf ears. Sorry this is long. I hope some of it helps someone here… :mellow:
Yes, foresight as well as hindsight *may* come with age and experience, but it’s by no means a given (especially considering the legion individual experiences that each of us have had in combination, many of them unfathomable) – it rather sounds very much like that platitudinous “everything will work out!”.
And again, as for perspective, what does one tell people at the soup kitchen – that they’re far better off than earthquake victims who don’t even have a place to sit? Or tell a homeless person that there are no dumpsters to fish discarded restaurant food out of in the slums of Calcutta? Sweet. How is that at all useful? How does it in fact ‘help’ someone to diminish if not negate their problems, and insisting, without compassion (nevermind empathy – an even rarer commodity), that the sky is indeed blue? There’s a vast difference between "enabling” someone, and showing understanding/compassion by acknowledging them. And those who think themselves “mature” and yet don’t know the difference, still have much to learn. Nevermind that trying to show/express such things is also a learned, and as well, rare art - speaking "with" someone, and not "at" them.
As for expressing oneself, I can only speak for myself, though I do in fact recommend it to others…there is not a single poem or bit of writing that I have ever regretted or was embarrassed by in putting to paper. It is not only cathartic, it validates and helps make 'concrete' emotions that are very real, even if they are conflicting or confusing – even “negative”. They’re “explorations”. They can help sort things out in the end. As well, they’re exercises in creativity – something we’d all do well to hold onto since it’s often “trained’ out of us after childhood – and that goes for *any* form one chooses to express themselves in. They’re also a record of where one has been in their journey. And they are no more self-indulgent, actually even far less so than someone (mature and wise :dry
discussing with their neighbour whether to use fresh basil or dried in their freakin’ pasta sauce. Like who bloody cares, y’know? It is *all* relative.
And the vast majority of us will indeed “wallow” in something utterly overwhelming to us, not once, but many times in our lives. There is no ‘prescribed’ time limit on grief, however it manifests itself. And many scars in fact, do not heal.
And without acknowledging these simple but profound notions, “superior & ultimate hindsight” really isn’t worth much at all. Nevermind that declaring one is in possession of it, is often more likely to simply fall on deaf ears. Sorry this is long. I hope some of it helps someone here… :mellow:
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Additional Statistics on Child Abuse in the USA
1. There are nearly 3 million reports of child abuse made annually
2. In 2003, there were 906,000 child abuse convictions
3. The rate of child abuse is estimated to be 3 times greater than is reported.
4. The rate of victimization is 12.3 children per 1,000 children
Children ages 0-3 are the most likely to experience abuse. They are victimized at a rate of 16.4 per 1,000
Just some statistics I found. Be careful about dismissing the abused. You can't pick and choose who you include in your rant, just because you're unable to generalise it to all teenagers. Maybe it's a bigger problem than you realised? Maybe more of those you are apparently referring to in your rant have gone through such horrific things as abuse. Just because they don't mention it doesn't mean it's not happening.
And as many people have said before, just because you don't deem something important enough to warrant being suicidal doesn't mean that the individual feels any better about it. Just like people have different thresholds for physical pain, some are better at dealing with emotional pain too. Doesn't make their suffering any less valid.
I think the way there is such pressure on young people nowadays does add to it all. Using myself as an example, I am currently abused, and also sitting very important exams in June which hopefully will get me a place in university. I believe I would be able to deal with the abuse if I had the time and space to do so, but all of the extra pressures to get the top grades means that not only can I not sort myself out emotionally, but am also slipping educationally. And believe me, the feelings of failure are overwhelming sometimes, I wouldn't dismiss that as a valid excuse to feel as if you would be better off not alive.
1. There are nearly 3 million reports of child abuse made annually
2. In 2003, there were 906,000 child abuse convictions
3. The rate of child abuse is estimated to be 3 times greater than is reported.
4. The rate of victimization is 12.3 children per 1,000 children
Children ages 0-3 are the most likely to experience abuse. They are victimized at a rate of 16.4 per 1,000
Just some statistics I found. Be careful about dismissing the abused. You can't pick and choose who you include in your rant, just because you're unable to generalise it to all teenagers. Maybe it's a bigger problem than you realised? Maybe more of those you are apparently referring to in your rant have gone through such horrific things as abuse. Just because they don't mention it doesn't mean it's not happening.
And as many people have said before, just because you don't deem something important enough to warrant being suicidal doesn't mean that the individual feels any better about it. Just like people have different thresholds for physical pain, some are better at dealing with emotional pain too. Doesn't make their suffering any less valid.
I think the way there is such pressure on young people nowadays does add to it all. Using myself as an example, I am currently abused, and also sitting very important exams in June which hopefully will get me a place in university. I believe I would be able to deal with the abuse if I had the time and space to do so, but all of the extra pressures to get the top grades means that not only can I not sort myself out emotionally, but am also slipping educationally. And believe me, the feelings of failure are overwhelming sometimes, I wouldn't dismiss that as a valid excuse to feel as if you would be better off not alive.
A
I have read this thread, and clearly, Anastasia is not trying to offend anyone here reading this thread, despite that it seems that some people were offended by her intelligent, thoughtful commentary. She isn't being insultive when she makes statements about the general teenage population's personalities and how suicide ideation plays a part into their thinking when dealing with typical teenage issues. As bad as society is, the serious abuse issues described here on SF, are not representative of the majority of teenage life in the world, with the exception of bullying.
Bullying itself, is a major issue, and it does affect many teenagers. I posted my opinions in this thread : http://www.suicideforum.com/showthread.php?p=426144#post426144
Independence is what teenagers seek, and they seek for it in many different ways. Some good, and some not so good.
Bullying itself, is a major issue, and it does affect many teenagers. I posted my opinions in this thread : http://www.suicideforum.com/showthread.php?p=426144#post426144
Independence is what teenagers seek, and they seek for it in many different ways. Some good, and some not so good.
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