i'm trying to take it slowly now though otherwise i exhaust myself too quickly. i'm going out tomorrow though :yeah: to see...forget it. i'll probably have a good story when i come back.
When I'm just a little down, taking a shower, putting on clean clothes, getting something to eat and walking my dog will almost always make things a little better, sometimes a lot better.
I know I posted at least once. it will be interesting to go back and read what I said.
nothing makes me feel better ever. I feel like hell. I realize there are a lot of people
who have far more serious problems than I do. but that is not the point, is it?
to be redundant, NOTHING makes me feel better, not ever. getting so drunk I can't
remember what city I am in is not too bad. doesn't really work though. life truly sucks
badly and then ya die. at least ya finally get to die some day.
the complete and utter devastation and destruction and good riddance to the entire
planet and all of the people on it. I'm sorry about the animals. but I'm more sorry
about them while they are alive and suffering than if the whole thing was one big
final ultimate mushroom cloud. kaboom! no more earth. no more life. no more
cruelty. no more suffering. no more evil. no more anything. whatever kind of
a terrible experiment this was supposed to be, it has obviously gone horribly
wrong and it's time to pull the plug.....although, that doesn't really make me feel better.
it would be for the best for all concerned, but it does not relieve my personal angst
to ponder it. perhaps I should not have posted. perhaps I should not have ever
been born. if I had a choice, I would have opted out of that nightmare. too late.
- making progress. If i feel ive made progress that day im happier.
- music, old favs
- a warm bed in winter makes me happy.
- sex? energized and playful, at peace with the world
to think that i'll die one day and none of this matter anyway. when i'm really sad i imagine i'll die tomorrow, that makes me feel a spark of what i could call happiness. its the only thing that makes me feel happy, to think that i'll die tomorrow. of course, this tends to make me suicidal... so i need meds to.
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