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Who's suicidal because they can't get laid?

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SadDude87

Well-Known Member
#81
Well, I wouldn't say there's anyone who has no interest in anything other than sex. Everyone has other interests. But there's a fundamental honesty in the statement that the typical man's mind is ALWAYS "in the gutter" so to speak. I don't care what they say or how they say it, most men are thinking about sex most of the time. I'm a man. I've been around other males all my life. I know. A "wholesome" man is the equivalent of an honest politician. They don't exist.

Now of course many men want love and companionship and all of that. But at the center of it all, there is sex. I know some people won't agree and think it isn't so but at 34, I've never known a male who wasn't obsessed with sex in some way or another.



And if it is? Some people need that. I will say that personally, I can do without a sex partner forever. But some people need a real person. I don't know why but if that's something that is within them, it's a pretty real problem for them and there's probably not much anyone else can say that they haven't thought of. I do think the OP was just looking for someone to hear his problems. And probably almost everyone here has their own problems. Don't they? None of us can snap our fingers and make our issues disappear or we wouldn't be here.

Thinking of women as "fuck toys" isn't the most admirable thing in the world but I'll tell you. Most men have probably thought of women or A woman that way at some point. I'm ashamed of it now but I have many years ago. The process of coming to realize that's the wrong way to look at it can take a while and a person has to come to that realization in their own way. Sometimes people get fantasy confused with reality. In a fantasy, you don't have to think about anyone's thoughts and feelings but your own. Because whoever the person is in the fantasy isn't a real person. So you're not hurting anyone to think of them that way or to imagine them being treated that way. It's when someone confuses a real person with a fantasy that problems emerge. Real people do have feelings. I haven't read many of the guy's posts so I don't know what context he made that particular statement in. But I can't and won't condemn him for it. I think (almost) everyone eventually comes around.
Agreed. It is just how things are, atleast in western culture. When a man has a girlfriend the talk is rarely about the relationship itself. Sure, occassionally there are times for 'deep and meaningfuls'. But 95% of the time the talk isn't how a male feels emotionally about his girl. It is whether he is fucking her or not, how often he is fucking her, what he's doing to her, or if a guy doesn't have a girlfriend who he is trying to fuck (and how successful he is being)

As Random said most seem to mature. But I am 20, and it has been as I described above since I was 15.
 
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Dave_N

#82
Agreed. It is just how things are, atleast in western culture. When a man has a girlfriend the talk is rarely about the relationship itself. Sure, occassionally there are times for 'deep and meaningfuls'. But 95% of the time the talk isn't how a male feels emotionally about his girl. It is whether he is fucking her or not, how often he is fucking her, what he's doing to her, or if a guy doesn't have a girlfriend who he is trying to fuck (and how successful he is being)

As Random said most seem to mature. But I am 20, and it has been as I described above since I was 15.
Women shouldn't be treated like sex toys. They are real people with real feelings and emotions, just like us guys. That's why the ladies keep getting upset with this thread. You guys keep on trying to justify what the OP said and it isn't working.
 

Random

Well-Known Member
#83
For pete's sake! I'm not justifying anything. I'm trying to point out that however silly his reasons for feeling the way he does seem to you, it's very real to him. And however distasteful you may think his opinions are, beating him up over it isn't very helpful. To anyone. I get the feeling that you're not really reading the posts (Particularly if you're referring to mine) but simply reading what you want to read. Selective reading. My posts are meant to be taken as a complete thought. Don't zoom in on things that bug you and ignore the rest of the post and maybe you'll not be so upset over it.
 
#84
As I've stated before, to members who are effectively arguing against the OP, it's a problem for him, so let's support him in it.
If it's the case that you don't agree with the problem, then simply don't post. This isn't the place for debate, the Soap Box is. Support is what we need here.
 

zoebaby

Well-Known Member
#85
I wish my only problem in life was not getting laid! i would trade u anyday, you can take my,crappy, disfunctional ,callous , rude, non-supportive, money-hungry family. I ahve been battling depression all my life and been in and out of therapy, have PTSD, was abandonded by my mother when i was 10, then my father turned his back on me when i was 12, neither of them speak to me, its been like that all my life , and i sit here wondering whats so wrong with me that they wont talk to me and dont ever wonder if im okay, much less dont know what to tell people when they ask me about my parents, what in the hell can i say? and ur only problem is getting laid??? If that is your only problem u are blessed....
 
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Dave_N

#86
Sorry that your parents abandoned you zoebaby. Parents should be around to help raise their children when they decide that they are going to have them. I hope things will get better for you.
 

Random

Well-Known Member
#87
I wish my only problem in life was not getting laid! i would trade u anyday, you can take my,crappy, disfunctional ,callous , rude, non-supportive, money-hungry family. I ahve been battling depression all my life and been in and out of therapy, have PTSD, was abandonded by my mother when i was 10, then my father turned his back on me when i was 12, neither of them speak to me, its been like that all my life , and i sit here wondering whats so wrong with me that they wont talk to me and dont ever wonder if im okay, much less dont know what to tell people when they ask me about my parents, what in the hell can i say? and ur only problem is getting laid??? If that is your only problem u are blessed....
I know what you're saying. I wish I could trade my epilepsy for not getting laid. Well, I don't get laid anyway but I don't really care. I would like to be able to go through life without worrying that I could lose consciousness and injure myself badly or die at any moment.
 

Panther

Well-Known Member
#88
This question is geared towards the guys obviously. I guess the female equivalent would be "Who's suicidal because they can't get a boyfriend?" I think either case, no matter how different, can be as equally painful. You have certain wiring that's not being fed.

I know it's the fundamental contribution to my depression and suicidal thoughts. I'm not saying life would be perfect if I were getting laid on a regular basis, but it would definitely be worth living from my standpoint. I'm sure there are plenty of others who feel the same way, and I'd like to hear from them, men and women.
there's got to be more to it than that. Believing in yourself is more important than getting laid. Once you do this there isn't such a huge need for a partner, although the desire is still there. I suspect it's because you don't like yourself that produces such a need that if it's fulfilled you think things'll be alright, but unfortunately that most likely isn't the case.
 
#89
It definitely is a downer to go without for a long period of time, but I'm not trying to demean women in any way shape or form. I find it gives me a sense of self-worth, that someone actually considers me a worthwhile human.
 

saeyoon Chung

Well-Known Member
#91
Hi? Lebigmac, I'm a testosterone-filled healthy male just like you and I see where you're going with this.. but I have to respectfully disagree with you.

You really need to think this over.. if the lack of sex is a BIG part of what makes you suicidal(I can tell it really is), then well.. you lived with the wrong priorities all along. We all need sex, alright.. we DO. It's not such a horrible crime. Doesn't have to be a grave sin, I know.
but I think you need to tweak your brain a bit.

All you're doing is inciting all these nasty posts.. maybe you feel much better now that there're people in the same shoes as you are..

With the way you think right now, I bet you'll only be going downhill from here. Like NIN's album title, "the downward spiral" is waiting for you.

2008 has just arrived and a 20-something guy like you are stuck in that mind frame.. hmm..
Do you desparately wish for "change" in your life or you just want to get laid?
Food for thought.
I can't blame for the way you feel. But you need to think this over.
Good-bye.
 

brokensoul98

Well-Known Member
#92
geeez,,don't know how to respond to this one..i used to be very sexually active..but then my husband died like ten yrs ago and haven't had sex since then. just haven't had the desire, so i guess sex just isn't important to me anymore. life isn't all albout sex. not a man so i don't know how you guys think, but i would assume, life isn't all about sex either. the right girl will come along in time and sex would be better with that special someone wouldn't it? isn't it worth the wait? guys???little help on this one?? i don't have the mind of a male..
 
#93
That is enough, I'm incredibly offended by over half the content in this thread, Not from OP but from all the people that harassed him. This is a family, a suicide forum, we come here because we are hurting on the inside and we need people that can we can rely on, trust, talk to, and have except us for who we are because we all need it and it's mutually beneficial to our sanity to love each other unconditionally because many of us aren't loved in our lives. This man had the courage to come on here and confess to how he felt and what have we done? Ridiculed him, banished him, insulted him, and for gods fucking sake we certainly haven't helped him when all he said he wanted was to have someone to talk to.

I agree that many people have been doing selective reading on here but in this subject that cant be helped. Everyone has there own opinions on any givin subject and everyone is bias about something. On the subject of men, women, and sex, everyone has an opinion because everyone is and has been involved in there own situation because it is simply nature. But that doesn't mean that just because you disagree with someone you can FLAME and RANT and CURSE him and HURT intentionally! I thought this board was to help people! Not to help drive them to suicide! And now because of certaint peoples selfish behavior he has been rejected yet again and left this site.

If you re read his original statements you'll see that he admitted to thinking of women as quote-human tube socks (sad but true)-quote. Now I know that many of the women on here have had problems and been abused and are thus very defensive; but If you stop thinking about yourself and think from his point of view you would realize that people are not always as shallow you would think. It may be obvious to me and I may be wrong but nobody even gave him a chance! He said thats the way he felt, he confessed it because he knew it was wrong. He wanted advice about how other people felt to try to understand his problem.

You can think one way and feel another. From the way he spoke he seemed to realize that it's a problem and wanted to change.

If you cant understand someones problem "from there point of view" then don't say anything! This man could have felt any number of feelings from rejection to feeling unloved to simply feeling like a unpopular high school kid that every girl thinks was an idiot. To me, he sounded like he wanted to change from having such shallow thoughts and maybe even have relationships like angle spoke of were you could truly love someone.

There are all kinds of mental disorders and most of us have at least one be it big or small, the power of hormones can make you desperate and the feeling of rejection, lack of attention or any number of issues to maybe even his mom dieing after giving birth and wanting to overcompensate for not having a female role model in his life. But now that he's been rejected off of here too. For all we know he could be so hurt that he could become a rapist BECAUSE of what you've done. If he reads this, I think that you should go to a psychiatrist passably a female one as to understand them better since no one else or at least this community will hear your problems, if you need someone to talk to then I'm ok with sitting down with you and not judging, I also have felt desperate before, am still a virgin and mainly because I'm just not good at flirting and am not a social person.

I hope that the moderaters lock this thread before it starts degrading the community anymore and have a heart to heart with a few of the people like Blackness to prevent this from happening again and hurting any other unfortunate people.
 
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Dave_N

#94
But now that he's been rejected off of here too. For all we know he could be so hurt that he could become a rapist BECAUSE of what you've done.
I think it would be a bit extreme to suggest that he is going to become a rapist, because he is not getting any sex and due to the comments in this thread. He also clearly said that he doesn't want a relationship, only women to have sex with and he got what he deserved.
 
#95
geeez,,don't know how to respond to this one..i used to be very sexually active..but then my husband died like ten yrs ago and haven't had sex since then. just haven't had the desire, so i guess sex just isn't important to me anymore. life isn't all albout sex. not a man so i don't know how you guys think, but i would assume, life isn't all about sex either. the right girl will come along in time and sex would be better with that special someone wouldn't it? isn't it worth the wait? guys???little help on this one?? i don't have the mind of a male..
i agree..they are other priorities in life besides sex. sex can be great i suppose, dont know from experiance, but it seems good. but thats why im waiting, im waiting to have a girlfriend, ill wait however long i have to wait to find true love, once i get a girllfriend, then comes sex, afterwards. but im not going to go out and do it with someone randomly..>_< i mean, have mor erespect for yourself..just my thoughts..
 
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Dave_N

#96
i agree..they are other priorities in life besides sex. sex can be great i suppose, dont know from experiance, but it seems good. but thats why im waiting, im waiting to have a girlfriend, ill wait however long i have to wait to find true love, once i get a girllfriend, then comes sex, afterwards. but im not going to go out and do it with someone randomly..>_< i mean, have mor erespect for yourself..just my thoughts..
It's nice to see that there are at least some guys who have enough respect for themselves to avoid one night stands.
 
#97
How do you know he got what he deserved if you never heard him, never talked to him, never asked him why, and never even read this entire thread. For humanity's sake people, read the entire discussion before you post in a suicide forum.

several people have said things along the lines of him being no better then a rapist.

example.

Just for the record, the person who repeatedly abused and raped me had the same ideas and thoughts about women as the OP. I would hate to see the OP end up on the same path.
Don't be so quick to judge, and make sure your not judging off of people that are or don't know the hole story themselves.

You don't know this guy, none of us do, shall we all stop forsaking him and shut up unless we have something productive to say about his attitude or problem? You people have done enough damage, he left and now has to deal with his problems on his own, who knows what could happen now that he wont get help? You can feel suicidal and not go through with it but his problems were important enough to post in the suicide section and he formally apologized for asking for help, leave him alone.

He was saying that he felt like shit because no one would sleep with him (for whatever reason) and yeah he did say a few offensive things about women because he's a sexist and he admitted that, and that does give some people on here the right to be offended and express that but it doesn't give you the right to be calling him the things you have and saying your glad he suffers.

You guys are treating him like he's some kind of freak when he came on here to ask a honest question with a sardonic tone to it. People have different perspectives you know, even if they are derived from sexist thoughts you shouldn't try to hurt them for it. I'm not saying you shouldn't tell him anything about what you thought he was saying, but you should give him a chance, he never even got to defend himself, you all just started freaking out on him and then you started arguing with each other, truthfully you'll never know what he was about or his feelings were or what his problems were because to many people on here are far to damn arrogant. If you tried talking and reasoning then you might have been able to find out why he felt that way and helped him.

And yes I may not be "saving myself for someone" but I don't go out and have one night stands and I wouldn't have sex with someone that I didn't respect or think I could ever love, that doesn't mean I cant try to understand someone like this guy better. People have vices, and things that help them feel better about there problems even if they don't make sense. Being sex crazy fits into the same category as cutting, eating disorders, anger problems or drug abuse. It's just another problem, it doesn't mean he's crazy or a horrible person.

To answer his original question, yeah it probably would make me a little less depressed if I had someone to have sex with.
 
#98
This thread has gone on for far too long with a negative slant to it.
If members feel it necessary to post, attacking a member for his views on what makes him suicidal, then I suggest very strongly, please have a think about what section you are posting in: The suicide section. What you're saying can push people over the edge.
A member has left the forum over what certain members have posted in this thread.
I suggest they, and everyone in fact, considers what they're actually saying from the person who they're posting to's shoes before clicking 'Submit'.

Thread closed.
 
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