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Why No New Firends?
- Thread starter NK1324
- Start date
- Tags friends high school
Essentially, I came to the school having friends, but could not make any friends off of them. I talk to new people in my classes, but I am far from friends with them. Also, I have a lunch period every other day with literally no friends. Even though I am a good person, I would feel to intimidated (or lazy?) at that lunch, and would just quickly eat my food by myself (or throw it out) and then go to an area where I can avoid l people. I don't know why, but it is just impossible for me to initiate anything. Meanwhile, other people who don't even put in much effort make like ten friends after a week. So, what the he**?
I think that what you have said here is possibly part of the problem. You cannot make friends if you avoid people and, worse than that, in high school if you avoid people then people start thinking you are strange or not very nice and avoid you back. I understand feeling anxious and overwhelmed, it can be so hard, but the only way to make friends is to be around the people you want to be friends with consistently. To make a friend you have to first be a friend. Other people might be more confident so do it faster, but that doesn't mean you can't. The only thing that will really stop you is if you isolate yourself and people start thinking of you as the person who is unfriendly.
Ok, so hear is the part no one knows about and/or does not understand. I see people, and just on instinct, my brain creates a scenario where I talk to that person and everything goes fine. My guess is that I have become so worried that talking could go wrong that I automatically default to just imaging I did so. Do you, or anyone else, know what to think of this?
I can tell you of my personal experience wayyyyyyyyyyyyy back in grade 9. (first year of high school in Ontario) In grade school, I had a ton of friends. But for some reason in Grade 9, I just couldn't seem to connect deeply with anyone. I met people but just didn't seem to form any great bonds with anyone. In grade 10, I met a girl who became my best friend. After that, it seemed I met a lot of other people, and from then on I developed many close friendships. The school I went to was big. I think for myself it was just a matter of meeting the "right" people. People who were on the same page as me, so to speak. So don't give up! You have lots of time to meet people. 
