i·ra·cund
–adjective
prone to anger; irascible.
not so much now, but when i was younger ... and i guess from time to time even now, i have these irrational, uncontrollable outbursts of anger. and i'm prone to throwing and breaking things. as a result, my brother used to call me "iracund" when we were young ... the name stuck.
–adjective
prone to anger; irascible.
not so much now, but when i was younger ... and i guess from time to time even now, i have these irrational, uncontrollable outbursts of anger. and i'm prone to throwing and breaking things. as a result, my brother used to call me "iracund" when we were young ... the name stuck.
i picked mine for it is the reality of my life.IMMURE " to enclose within walls, or as if within walls,hence to shut up;to imprison;to incarcerate. -to build into a wall-to entomb in a wall. i m inprisoned inside these walls inside of myself and the only times i notice them is when others are tryin to get to know me. i am very hesitant to let anyone know to much of how i see the world others and "things" i learned long ago not many feel comfortable with.. well it is this way now and it is done to far into life to be cleaned by inocence and not far enough left to work through it all. without other areas suffering. so in my maturity i stand for who i have become. one direction forward. one hope in the end of it all there will be freedom. faith from here to as far as i m willing to step and love that will not go for it is a life of its own. i m just a small spirit with a heart with the strength left to get me and my babies home. for them in there honor i will fight every fight if it gives me just one more day to protect them from all the forces i can. blah blah i m goin off so now i stop.
I consider myself a child and will always be. Even though I am 23 now and will only get older (I am already old enough I know) and my love to express myself in many ways including poems, writing in journals, and writing my thoughts out to myself. Even the way I speak is weird to most people and only me and some people can actually understand what I really mean sometimes, so I consider myself a person who simply love to express my feelings and thoughts but I guess thats the only thing I ever like about myself. Yeah..after all, thats how I got my username. I usually use the same name in other sites as well. Hardly use different names.
Mine means basically what it says. My philosophy is that almost everything in existence happens randomly and by random chance. That there's no rhyme nor reason. That my life and everything I've experienced has been positively random. I could have been anyone instead of who I am. It means that people who end up living wonderful lives do so by pure luck and chance. That they shouldn't look down their noses at people less fortunate than themselves because they may not have been more than a hair's width away from being that person.
I saw this thread and thought I'd jump in since I find I'm spending more and more time here.
1:19 is a song by Lacuna Coil, it pretty much describes the mood I was in when I found SF.
My avatar is Cuuldurach the Glimmer King, a dragon in the MMORPG Dark Age of Camelot.
1:19 is a song by Lacuna Coil, it pretty much describes the mood I was in when I found SF.
Hiding all my fear
My nightmare is becoming real
Take a look at me
I`m a loser
Hiding all my crimes and then
Forgetting all my ideas
Take a look at me
I`m a loser
My nightmare is becoming real
Take a look at me
I`m a loser
Hiding all my crimes and then
Forgetting all my ideas
Take a look at me
I`m a loser
F
The opposite from the song "Amazing Grace" ("I once was lost, but now am found"...Damn - that hurt like Hell! No, wait a second - it WAS Hell!!)
I picked my avatar (first cuz I finally figured out how to POST one!!) as I couldn't figure on what I wanted to represent me for a long time, and now that I'm better - I feel that little 'heart-shaped' light glowing again inside - that, and Indigo has always been my favorite colour - to me it's mystical and evocative. (The artist's name btw, is Daniel Holeman, from his site www.awakenvisions.com)
I picked my avatar (first cuz I finally figured out how to POST one!!) as I couldn't figure on what I wanted to represent me for a long time, and now that I'm better - I feel that little 'heart-shaped' light glowing again inside - that, and Indigo has always been my favorite colour - to me it's mystical and evocative. (The artist's name btw, is Daniel Holeman, from his site www.awakenvisions.com)
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When I first registered here I was at my greatest state of delusional thinking. My schizophrenic mindset lead me to believe all kinds of horrible things were going to happen to me and my family. I was on the very edge of committing suicide just to stop the noise in my head for good. I stumbled upon this place while doing research into suicide methods. Basically, I had completely lost my mind (was not sane) when I signed up.
My avatar represents a voice I heard one day that informed me that hundreds of people are watching me. What was said was "500 eyes watching and he's moving back home!" This was when I was about to move back home from a friends place a few states away. It was making fun of me and my decisions. Luckily I don't have any of these voices beating me down anymore and am now somewhat of a sane individual.
My avatar represents a voice I heard one day that informed me that hundreds of people are watching me. What was said was "500 eyes watching and he's moving back home!" This was when I was about to move back home from a friends place a few states away. It was making fun of me and my decisions. Luckily I don't have any of these voices beating me down anymore and am now somewhat of a sane individual.
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One day a mate of mine got bored of my real name (Ester) and turned it into Ishtar, so I picked that as username at forums. But cos I'm such a *cough* sweet lil' *cough* girl, people soon started saying Ishy, so then had it changed to Ishy. But as now most people (both online and in real life) call me Ish, I decided to have it changed to Ish. With a dot, cos I like the way it looks :tongue: