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24, unemployed, and hopeless

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by sickanon2, Mar 5, 2018.

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  1. sickanon2

    sickanon2 Active Member

    I have been unemployed nearly six months now. I have always worked hard, I always scored top marks in school and college, and earned myself a first class honours degree. I secured an excellent internship straight out of college, and managed to earn myself a full time job out of it. During the year I was employed there (six months as an intern, and six months as a full employee) I achieved all this while being very ill with glandular fever. (Or as it's know to you Americans, infectious mononucleosis.) My employer never knew I was ill, I worked hard to hid how sick I was from everyone I knew.

    Then, due to the company ending up in financial trouble, I was made redundant. I suffered a complete collapse of my health, and was forced to move back in with my parents. So for three months, I was pretty much stuck back at home in bed.

    My health has never properly recovered since I first became ill with glandular fever, but by January this year I felt well enough to start job hunting. At first I was hopeful, I got a decent amount of interviews/interest. But as time dragged on, any employment prospects I had have dried up.

    Although I have been job hunting three months, I have on paper been out of work for six months. I have been unemployed for so long, that employers no longer have any interest due to the big gap in my CV. Because I was too ill to seek out work when I first lost my job, I missed my only window of opportunity, and have become unemployable.

    Today is my birthday. I have just turned twenty-four. I have no friends, no job, no prospects, and no hope. I am living at home leaching off my parents.
    This is not were I saw myself being ten years down the road. All my hard work was for nothing. I don't want to live anymore. There is no place for a NEET like me in society.
  2. Winter Blues

    Winter Blues SF Supporter

    Hi you, and firstly a huge birthday hug xxx what is your degree in / what field of work are you looking for? It's not easy for youngsters these days I agree, but you have come so far educationally and with your first internship. Please don't give up hope - glandular fever has a friggin habit of coming back when folk are low. Ok, so you're with your parents - so are an awful lot of others these days. Not where you'd hoped to be I get that truly but please stay strong, stay positive and I'm sure something will come up. How about charity work in the meantime - councils usually have a list of local charities looking for help and it would fill that space on your Cv, get you out and about abs give you something to discuss at your next interview xx
    Alwayswrong likes this.
  3. A job is not nearly as important as your health. I'm 28 and unemployed. I'm able to make money at times through other means, though not nearly enough. Nevertheless, I know that there are more important things than that going on right now. My well being, physical and mental, which isn't so great right now, comes first. If I don't allow it to come first and force myself to do something I'm not ready for just because society expects me to, I'm going to end up failing at it anyway.
    Winter Blues likes this.
  4. sickanon2

    sickanon2 Active Member

    My field is media, more specifically graphic design, and my degree is in Interactive Multimedia. I know that continuing to work while being ill with glandular fever wasn't necessarily the smartest move, but at the time I thought if I could hang onto my job until my illness passed, things would get better. In my defense, I originally was told I'd be better in two to three months, I never anticipated I would be ill for the best part of a year. Even though I had no choice, I feel like those three months was time I could ill afford to take out of the job hunt. It does make me wonder how people who are out of work for years at a time with diseases like cancer ever manage to re-enter the workforce.

    I have done small pieces of unpaid freelance work here and there, but employers don't seem to count that because I'm not in paid employment by one specific company or business. Another issue is that I can't drive, which cuts me out of many opportunities. Although I recently passed my theory test and got my learner permit, my efforts have been stopped in their tracks because neither myself nor my parents are in a position to pay the cost of the insurance or driving lessons. And without a steady income, nobody is going to loan me the money I need to drive. I appreciate the kind words, and I know logically I am probably not the only twenty-something still stuck at home, but it feels like everyone else I used to know has managed to make a great career for themselves (even some of the laziest people I was in secondary school and college with) while I'm stuck at square one.
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi there, happy birthday to you and welcome to the forum.

    I am so sorry for what you are going through, I am sure your parents care more about your health than unemployment. Your health is your wealth. I hae no idea what to advise but want you to know, im here, im listening and I sympathise with you. Never give up, suicide is never, ever an option.
  6. I think they do count that. It may not be the main factor, but it very well could be the defining factor. If they had two resumes side by side, one with no freelance work, and then yours, they'd pick you.
    Alwayswrong likes this.
  7. sickanon2

    sickanon2 Active Member

    Thank you for your kind words. I feel like a massive burden on everyone around me. At this stage, I feel like my health is out of my control, some people fully recover from GF, and some people never really return to normal and nobody understands why that is. I have just had accept that. I was told by nine months into my illness that I had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, which scared me shitless at the time. Thankfully, I think that doctor has been proven to be mistaken. As I am not bedbound, I can live with being ill and tired more frequently, and on a physical level can cope reasonable well compared to the height of my illness last year. These days it's my financial issues, and my inability to secure a job, that sucks away my sense of self worth. I feel like a failure, like I have let everyone down, especially myself.
  8. Dawn

    Dawn Well-Known Member

    Hi. I am very sorry to hear about all of these things u are going through. I know it is very hard to be sick and be dependent on others. It gets very tiring and makes u feel so badly.

    I don't know if this is okay or an option but I wonder about saying u still have a job but checking the box that they are not allowed to contact your current employer on the application and interview process. I absolutely hate lying so I don't know about this. But I have expanded dates on my resume before, even tho I didn't like doing that at all. Basically, u would just be changing the date. Forgive me if this out of line. It is all I could think of atm, other than volunteering somewhere.

    I hope that things get better for u. Please don't give up because many times I thought that things would never get better but they did. Best wishes to u <3
  9. Winter Blues

    Winter Blues SF Supporter

    You are not a failure nor a burden .. you have come much further than a lot of folk your age already. I would be proud of you. Stay strong, try to retain some positivity and in the meantime stay on here and talk pleas xxx
    sickanon2 likes this.
  10. K.L. Freebyrd

    K.L. Freebyrd Active Member

    It's going to be ok. I know it's hard right now and you might not see how things could ever change. But they will. I think you're so brave for opening up, for admitting how you feel, and for continuing on despite how hard it is. Look how far you've come and everything you've overcome so far. There is a way, and there is hope for a bright future for you. Keep going, keep inspiring others, it will get better! Are you attending a good church? I know that helped me a lot in the past stay connected and offer support. Hang in there, doors will open for you soon.
    sickanon2 and Winter Blues like this.
  11. sickanon2

    sickanon2 Active Member

    Thank you for your kind words. I've nothing against religion, but I'm not religious myself. It's hard for me to talk to others about being unemployed, because I hate being judged or worse still, pitied. I was proud person, probably to a fault. Being unemployed has been especially humiliating for that reason. Particularly when I run into old acquaintances and they express total shock that I of all people, would end up in this situation. I think after pushing myself to my limits for so long, I am finding it a daily struggle to keep my head above water and keep putting in the effort. I can only hope things will get better. As illogical as it might sound, I'm afraid I'll never get to work a job I enjoy again. It does help to be able to talk anonymously about this stuff with people who can relate!
  12. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    Hi Sickanon2

    Sorry to hear that you are going through this. I might be able to make some recommendations about treatment methods and employment that could help. I'd like to check first that advice is something that you'd welcome.

    I hope that things can get better soon!
    sickanon2 likes this.
  13. sickanon2

    sickanon2 Active Member

    Go ahead, I'm all ears. Anything that will help me improve my situation would be welcome. I feel like I'm at my wits end!
  14. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    Particularly since conventional medicine doesn't seem to have anything to offer you, I'd suggest looking into acupuncture and traditional Chinese herbal medicine. Acupuncture has been endorsed by the World Health Organization for treating a wide variety of conditions.

    Private treatment is often expensive. However, community acupuncture clinics and acupuncture teaching clinics are usually much cheaper, or even sometimes free.

    Acmac.net has a list of community clinic in the UK. If you'd like to try to a teaching clinic, you can usually find one by searching for "acupuncture schools in [your area]", and then looking for a teaching clinic link on a school's homepage.

    If you happen to be near London, I have a list of teaching clinics there.

    Did you explain that you had GF? They might be more forgiving if they knew you had a medical reason for being unemployed.

    I think that most 1st world countries offer vocational services for people with disabilities. A note from your doctor may be sufficient for you to qualify. They can usually help you with a job search or provide other services.

    If acupuncture and herbal medicine are inadequate, you might want to see if there are any experimental drugs for GF or chronic fatigue in clinical trials that you could participate in.

    Seeing a specialist or getting second opinion might be worthwhile too.

    The dietary recommendations in my signature links might help.
  15. sickanon2

    sickanon2 Active Member

    I wouldn't consider myself disabled. I have talked to my doctor about this, I'm still experiencing a certain degree of post viral fatigue, but I'm mostly able to manage. Even people with full blown ME/CFS have a hard time getting diagnosed in my country, let alone qualify for disability. As I feel I am well enough to work, I want to focus my efforts towards gaining employment.

    The problem is that I can't really put down "ill with Glandular Fever" on my CV under the experience heading. It's something that can't be mentioned before the interview stage. To make matters worse, most people are not sick as long as I was with GF. On the Irish HSC site (the equivalent to the NHS in the UK) it says people fully recover in 6-8 weeks, which obviously wasn't my experience. So not only have most people never heard of GF here in Ireland, but those who have would probably be baffled to hear how long I was ill.

    I am open to trying acupuncture though. I found message helped me in the past. I'm sorry if it feels like I'm shooting your suggestions down, I do appreciate any input people might have.
  16. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    I'm not sure what vocational services for people with disabilities are available in Ireland, but the standard for qualifying for services is usually much lower than for full disability benefits. Typically you just have to demonstrate that you have an illness of some kind that is a barrier to employment.

    If you do qualify for services, they should be able to give you some expert advice on how to deal with the gap in your CV.

    I don't think there are any acmac.net clinics in Ireland. I'm not sure if there are teaching clinics available. Private professional clinics can be expensive.

    You might want to try traditional Chinese herbal medicine too.

    The dietary recommendations in my signature links, and a practice like qi gong or yoga might be worth trying.

    It's ok. If I make 100 suggestions and 1 actually helps, then it's worthwhile.
    sickanon2 likes this.
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