Abusive Neighbor

[ChimeraMonster]

... Girls, don't you hate to feel powerless? To know someone is seeing you as an object, and don't being able to do anything? to be afraid all the time?...

My neighbor, who is married, is 40 yo and has two children, came to me yesterday, to literally try to make sex with me... for real. He came as if it was nothing wrong, then began to talk about sex and intimate things. When i noticed, he was ... begging for me to make out with him. I said to him, a lot of times, that i wouldn't do it. He mentioned that he "saw me in my lingerie" (like, dude, i live alone. I logically wont go on full dressed all the time! but HOW did he see it? I'm always with the windows closed and he lives on the other building!
I'm SO confused....
to the worst, when i convinced him to go home. he tried to kiss me
like if EVERYTHING THAT I JUST SAID JUST MEANT NOTHING.
in my country, is very common to woman just me murdered... for nothing. And I'm afraid he might be violent next time.

... but no one would listen to me... not even my family.
I feel so hopeless, and afraid.
I have nowhere to run or hide.
I'm constantly thinking about suicide this entire month, and all this situation isn't helping at all.



I need a hug ;-;

 

[sinking_ship]

s* I'm sorry you had to deal with that. What a creep.

 

[Petal]

s* i'm shocked by this. I am so sorry you have to deal with this. You mentioned women getting murdered in your country, do you mean murdered by creeps by him or for speaking up about it? I'd seriously consider moving. It is so strange that he saw you half undressed, there could be more to that or a really weird coincidence. I am unsure as to what to advise given what you said, if you could tell us more we might be able to give some advice. I truly am sorry to have to live in fear, no one should have to. Have you thought about getting a room mate if you are scared or move?

*biggest hug ever*

You owe it to yourself to get this issue addressed and creeps like him are all over the world, not just where you are. I truly hope we can help, hugs xxx

 

[ChimeraMonster]

s* i'm shocked by this. I am so sorry you have to deal with this. You mentioned women getting murdered in your country, do you mean murdered by creeps by him or for speaking up about it? I'd seriously consider moving. It is so strange that he saw you half undressed, there could be more to that or a really weird coincidence. I am unsure as to what to advise given what you said, if you could tell us more we might be able to give some advice. I truly am sorry to have to live in fear, no one should have to. Have you thought about getting a room mate if you are scared or move?

*biggest hug ever*

You owe it to yourself to get this issue addressed and creeps like him are all over the world, not just where you are. I truly hope we can help, hugs xxx

I do have a room mate, but he is on recover from a surgery and is now in his parents home.
About the murdering... well... I think it is because murdering a woman is less than a men, you know? people care less, is a cultural thing. So it happens all the time. Sometimes you even get less time in jail if you compare the two. And normally these people are abusive boyfriends, parents or friends of the victim.
I lost a friend last month, one of these cases.
for now I'm trying to not stay alone, and just get out of my house when i know he is on work.

this has two days now, and i cant sleep at all...

 

[Rockclimbinggirl]

s* Is your roommate coming back soon? Can you stay somewhere else for a few days? What about changing your locks?

 

[Petal]

I see. I would suggest putting up your own private cameras if you can afford to, change locks, get another room mate to help you or a family member to stay so you feel less afraid. You cannot go on living like this. If I were you I would definitely go to the police, stalking doesn't seem common but the statistic is that 1 in 4 people will be stalked at some point in their lives and it must be terrifying and incredibly upsetting. Would you think of even going to the police and pretend you are talking about a friend and see what advice they give? I can't even imagine how frightening it all is but it needs to be sorted and soon. We will be here for you all the way. Another *

 

[ChimeraMonster]

s* Is your roommate coming back soon? Can you stay somewhere else for a few days? What about changing your locks?

he will be back next week, i talked with the gatekeeper (? english is not my main language, so i dont know how you guys call the security dude of apartment complex) and he said to me that he will talk with him, and that he is easily scared.

 

[ChimeraMonster]

*UPDATE*
i was going with a friend of mine to a walk, and when i was coming back to my house, he aborted me in the middle of the street, trying to see if i will have another number. ( i said to him that i lost my phone, obviously a lie) He walked behind me for some time, when ironically a PM (military police, yes, we have that, they go on full armed) stopped on my building for a pm call, then he just fled. I talked with the pm's and they said that they couldn't do much now, but one policewoman has taken my address to put in emergency list if i call.

i feel safer now

 

[Walker]

Glad you're ok

 

[Innocent Forever]

(((hugs)))

 

[ChimeraMonster]

I see. I would suggest putting up your own private cameras if you can afford to, change locks, get another room mate to help you or a family member to stay so you feel less afraid. You cannot go on living like this. If I were you I would definitely go to the police, stalking doesn't seem common but the statistic is that 1 in 4 people will be stalked at some point in their lives and it must be terrifying and incredibly upsetting. Would you think of even going to the police and pretend you are talking about a friend and see what advice they give? I can't even imagine how frightening it all is but it needs to be sorted and soon. We will be here for you all the way. Another *

I cant afford, every single cam and tecnology in my country comes from the US, but the dolar has become 4x 1 R$, so everything, is HUGELY expensive right now. I cant even afford a good mouse. Here it is like... R$ 200,00.

 

[ChimeraMonster]

(((hugs)))

Thank you Inno ;-;
I really needed it

 

[Petal]

i feel safer now

yay, some good came from talking to the police then, i'm delighted for you as i was genuinely worried for you but i hope you stay safe and get yourself a good nights sleep now while you can s* Him fleeing from the police is a big relief that he now feels there may be consequences for his actions. Keep us updated and stay safe and sound We care about you here and want no harm to come to you.

 

[ChimeraMonster]

i will update you guys if anything new happen

 

[Rockclimbinggirl]

Stay safe. Do you have a phone you can put apps on? I know there are ones where you check in with friends/family or where you can press a panic button.

 

[Mremptyinside]

also for security messures you can put a chair or something at the entry door of your home with pots or citchen stuff. something loud that will fall down when the door may open. makes you feel safer and if actually something would happen you would be awake beforehand having time to call someone or prepare. also i would take something for imergencys next to the bed. like a bat XD or pan. but it seems the problem should be solved with this security guy showing up. i really hope he will leave you alone =D
huggs

 

[ChimeraMonster]

I was supposed to go to a walk with my friend today again... but I'm afraid he might do that again...

 

[Mremptyinside]

can't you buy tasers at your country? for protection?
also as long as you are not alone it should be fine? right? stalkers mostly never aproach groups

 

[Walker]

Keep being safe

 

[ChimeraMonster]

can't you buy tasers at your country? for protection?
also as long as you are not alone it should be fine? right? stalkers mostly never aproach groups

in my country it is considered a melee weapon, so, i need a permission to have it.
And believe me, Brazil's bureaucracy is a pain in the ass

The problem is that I have to go alone for part of the way home. And he knows my routine.