alone

[Windhover]

When my brother died, and I was overwhelmed with grief and would want to talk about it, my ex person who was my husband at the time got irritated, and then angry. He confronted me with the fact that it changed me. He said to me, "you have dead people in your head," and I should stop talking about all of it. I still don't know for sure if I did something wrong in processing my brother's death, or what I could've done differently. I don't think it's wrong to miss someone very much and to want to talk about them from time to time. Grief comes in waves and when it comes, it's valid to feel sad and miss the person. At least that is what I have to do or else the feelings get more intense & persistent.

 

[Congratsbaby]

When my brother died, and I was overwhelmed with grief and would want to talk about it, my ex person who was my husband at the time got irritated, and then angry. He confronted me with the fact that it changed me. He said to me, "you have dead people in your head," and I should stop talking about all of it. I still don't know for sure if I did something wrong in processing my brother's death, or what I could've done differently. I don't think it's wrong to miss someone very much and to want to talk about them from time to time. Grief comes in waves and when it comes, it's valid to feel sad and miss the person. At least that is what I have to do or else the feelings get more intense & persistent.

Ofcourse. Your husband was toxic. Damn. I am sorry you had to go through this , must have been terrible. I am sorry but your ex sound like an absolute asshole

 

[Windhover]

Thank you @Congratsbaby, you are not the first person to say it. I am sorry for not taking care of myself more assertively. Maybe I was naive; I didn't see the damage as it was happening.

 

[may71]

I still don't know for sure if I did something wrong in processing my brother's death

I don't think you did anything wrong.

He said to me, "you have dead people in your head," and I should stop talking about all of it

Of course you're going to have "dead people in your head" when someone you love dies. How is anyone supposed to not have "dead people in their head"?

I am sorry for not taking care of myself more assertively. Maybe I was naive; I didn't see the damage as it was happening.

A LOT of people get into abusive, or just plain bad relationships. Usually the abuser has a lot of skill in drawing the one they want to abuse into the relationship, and keeping them stuck there. I think anyone could end up in an abusive relationship, it's just a matter of meeting the wrong person at the wrong time.

Sending hugs

 

[Congratsbaby]

Thank you @Congratsbaby, you are not the first person to say it. I am sorry for not taking care of myself more assertively. Maybe I was naive; I didn't see the damage as it was happening.

You're welcome. You did your best with the tools you had at that time. I hope you become more compassionate for that version of you. If you loved him , that makes even more sense why you stayed. You know now and that matters

 

[Windhover]

I knew it wasn't a good idea to move a tv myself due to it being huge and heavy. I almost managed it but at the last bit had to bump it gently into the edge of the shelf unit. Nothing happened to the tv but because I was holding it tightly against my torso, my rib seems to have been damaged, it's cracked or something. Sleep was wrecked by pain. I looked up what the doctors do for broken ribs and it's nothing (other than charge you for telling you it's nothing). I already know it's not pneumothorax because I've had one of those and know what it's like. Hopefully it's okay to get out for a run later.

 

[Windhover]

I know, it serves me right.

 

[FlamingoWrangler]

I know, it serves me right.

Disagree!
It’s hard to recognize our imitations.
~It’s just a tv. ~Just moving it a little….

You don’t deserve a broken/bruised rib. I think a brisk walk would be better than a run. It will help to keep the inflammation down.

 

[KM76710]

I knew it wasn't a good idea to move a tv myself due to it being huge and heavy. I almost managed it but at the last bit had to bump it gently into the edge of the shelf unit. Nothing happened to the tv but because I was holding it tightly against my torso, my rib seems to have been damaged, it's cracked or something. Sleep was wrecked by pain. I looked up what the doctors do for broken ribs and it's nothing (other than charge you for telling you it's nothing). I already know it's not pneumothorax because I've had one of those and know what it's like. Hopefully it's okay to get out for a run later.

I heard the same a number of years ago when I broke a couple. It is something that just will take a bit of time to heal up. I hope you are like me and it doesn't take too long before you see great improvements.

 

[may71]

I know, it serves me right.

I don't think it serves you right.

I'm sorry this happened and I hope you can get better soon.

Sending hugs

 

[Windhover]

I heard the same a number of years ago when I broke a couple. It is something that just will take a bit of time to heal up. I hope you are like me and it doesn't take too long before you see great improvements.

Thank you, I hope so. That's great you healed up quisckly.

 

[Windhover]

Thank you @FlamingoWrangler Turns out I didn't even try today, as the pain has been pretty sharp. If I go out tomorrow and it starts hurting even more, I'll switch gears to walking.

 

[AvidFan]

So sorry I totally missed this due to being out and sleep deprived the last few days. I've had my share of busted ribs. Once jumped in a boat, my rib hit the side of the boat before my feet hit the floor of the boat... Worst one was when I took a tumble running and was overweight. Doctor sent me to hospital for that one.

I really hope it heals soon and is not too painful, though ribs always are ☹️

Hugs, hugs and more hugs (just not too tight!!!) ❤️

 

[Windhover]

Thank you for the gently hugs @AvidFan ! They feel healing.

Ow those incidents sound paintful.

I'm still angry at myself but lol feeling a little better this evening.

I hope everyone gets a good sleep.

🩷

 

[Windhover]

Experimented with a slightly longer run than Tuesday's and though it hurt a lot at the end, I think it's going to help me get over it faster than if I remained sedentary.

 

[Windhover]

An incredibly strange day of existence. I don't know what is stranger, daytime reality or dreams.

 

[may71]

An incredibly strange day of existence.

You're welcome to explain if you'd like to, but I also understand if you have reasons not to.

 

[Windhover]

There are no words for how disappointed I am with humanity

 

[may71]

There are no words for how disappointed I am with humanity

We are kind of crap as a species. I think dogs and cats are generally at a higher level than us.

If it helps, it often blows my mind how disgracefully people will behave. There's still good people out there, but it's generally easier for bad people to screw things up than for good people to fix them.

You're welcome to say more.

Hugs Seabird

 

[Windhover]

Thank you @may71.

Agreed, as far as mind blowed atm, I will get through it, just feeling rather terribly sad.

(h)