I am struggling bad with the holidays. It just reminds me that I am rejected by family and do not have my own family. I can take food and go and give it to people at a community dinner. But I can barely stand the holiday and I think I have damage from being bullied all those years. I go through the same feeling every year and nothing changes. I hope other people will reach out and find nice people over the holidays or find ways to enjoy it. It feels like it is too much for me, even though I try to make the right decisions.