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Borderline Personality Disorder | What is BPD? | Signs of BPD
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Woah, what shitstorm did I walk into here?
Honestly, I think if I speak my mind on this matter, someone would get banned. Probably me.
So I'm simply going to say this. In no way, shape, or form are anyone's problems better or worse than anyone else's. We all have different limitations and thresholds for pain, both physical and mental. So please, do not undermine anyone's suffering, no matter what it is they're suffering from.
Honestly, I think if I speak my mind on this matter, someone would get banned. Probably me.
So I'm simply going to say this. In no way, shape, or form are anyone's problems better or worse than anyone else's. We all have different limitations and thresholds for pain, both physical and mental. So please, do not undermine anyone's suffering, no matter what it is they're suffering from.
No, there are multiple types of non genetic mental disorders, - as an example ptsd is 100% situational- it cannot be acquired without exposure to situation. There may be more or less likelihood of getting it based on genetic profile but that is not a genetic disorder. The same with depression which often starts as situational sadness and deepens into depression, and virtually every "disorder"... Ultimately however it makes no difference because they all can be treated also with patience and and skilled professional help.
If you have a different take on an illness feel free to share,. Nobody on this forum is a professional. All are lay persons expressing opinions, nothing more. If you disagree and wish to discuss without name calling please feel free. Having a different viewpoint IS NOT demeaning or harming anybody. Name calling and personal attacks however are not allowed. If you wish to call names and other such activity please refrain and either place the person on ignore so you do not have to read their replies or simply go on to another post that you feel is more helpful to you or your situation. Report the posts if they offend you or ignore them. Flaming in the threads will result in infractions.
Not sure if anyone here can advise
I recently re connected with a really close male friend; he and I initially knew each other 12 years ago very close off/on - last year re connected major spark/chemistry/connection both sides he pursued me constantly with ph calls, textes, coffee dates weekly, fun cocktail catchups we shared a few intimate smooches but it didn't go further than that, then 3 weeks ago boom no contact no calls/texts like he just fell off earth there was no argument or anything to cause him to ignore me- zip, he just went cold - he told me he had BPD from the start so when we re connected I knew all that, plus 3 personalities so he didn't lie I'm wondering if he's doing the push/pull thing? Im so hurt as nothing went down b4hand we had the best nite; he always chased me I never did the chasing ever so hence I haven't contacted him at all over the last 3 weeks it's just odd knowing he's BPD I'm wondering did he get too close to me so I'm in the "devalue" stage
Has this occurred with anyone else?
It's not like I slept with him he got what he wanted & move on because we had not been intimate just kissed so can anyone shine some light?
It's am awful feeling for someone to just go cold won't be a feeling I seek out again soon and makes me re consider the whole being inv with BPD male!!
Please advice
I recently re connected with a really close male friend; he and I initially knew each other 12 years ago very close off/on - last year re connected major spark/chemistry/connection both sides he pursued me constantly with ph calls, textes, coffee dates weekly, fun cocktail catchups we shared a few intimate smooches but it didn't go further than that, then 3 weeks ago boom no contact no calls/texts like he just fell off earth there was no argument or anything to cause him to ignore me- zip, he just went cold - he told me he had BPD from the start so when we re connected I knew all that, plus 3 personalities so he didn't lie I'm wondering if he's doing the push/pull thing? Im so hurt as nothing went down b4hand we had the best nite; he always chased me I never did the chasing ever so hence I haven't contacted him at all over the last 3 weeks it's just odd knowing he's BPD I'm wondering did he get too close to me so I'm in the "devalue" stage
Has this occurred with anyone else?
It's not like I slept with him he got what he wanted & move on because we had not been intimate just kissed so can anyone shine some light?
It's am awful feeling for someone to just go cold won't be a feeling I seek out again soon and makes me re consider the whole being inv with BPD male!!
Please advice
Oh god. Honestly, BPD males are the worst when it comes to blindsiding you, I've found. Who the fuck knows what's going on in their heads half the time? To answer your question, yes, I have had something similar happen both with males and females with BPD traits. Regardless of whether nothing was seemingly wrong, like I said, you never know what was going on in their heads. Obviously, it was something that made them afraid if they ran away. When Borderlines are afraid of abandonment, they run before that perceived abandonment happens. But thinking about what you did wrong will only confuse you and make you feel like shit. You did nothing wrong from the sounds of it. It's just something you need to accept and let go.
Ouch... Honestly, I feel like I'd do the same. As in I'd run as soon as I'm scared. As soon as the relationship is too close. Or whatever else. And I've no diagnosis (of anything).
What I would say if you were asking how to handle me
would be to be there without getting too close. To keep your emotional distance. To stay however much I push you away. To keep your walls of defense.
Know that it isn't you. It's nothing to do with you. At all. That you're special and didn't do anything wrong. You just happened to get to know someone who struggles and can hurt you to protect themselves, when hurting you doesn't even cross their minds for it's about protection.
Not sure if that makes any sense, or if I'm even right at all. Do I ever make sense? Feel free to take or leave. As I've said, I've no real knowledge of BPD (just what it's like to live in my head)
What I would say if you were asking how to handle me
would be to be there without getting too close. To keep your emotional distance. To stay however much I push you away. To keep your walls of defense.Know that it isn't you. It's nothing to do with you. At all. That you're special and didn't do anything wrong. You just happened to get to know someone who struggles and can hurt you to protect themselves, when hurting you doesn't even cross their minds for it's about protection.
Not sure if that makes any sense, or if I'm even right at all. Do I ever make sense
? Feel free to take or leave. As I've said, I've no real knowledge of BPD (just what it's like to live in my head)
Rock. Ty Hi. I have ins. But for financial n political reasons cant use my ppo ins. Long story. but im good at reading and understanding concepts. Ive been here and flamed someone who out of the blue started name calling me.. I mean no reason. Unprovoked attacked
62 y.o. mature people dont hold resentments like that. I think ben or staff let me off with a warning. Maybe 3 points. It was maybe a combo of bpd and hpd and the stress of my sick wife. I misdirected anger, all the while I knew there was an ignore feature. .
So I feel im good reading here.
Rock, ty for even caring
Jason. . sorry for typos
62 y.o. mature people dont hold resentments like that. I think ben or staff let me off with a warning. Maybe 3 points. It was maybe a combo of bpd and hpd and the stress of my sick wife. I misdirected anger, all the while I knew there was an ignore feature. .
So I feel im good reading here.
Rock, ty for even caring
Jason. . sorry for typos