BPD Support Thread

[Aurelia]

Is there a sexuality type for when you're normally pansexual, but at the moment, just sick to death of guys because they start making you feel nauseated with their stupidity and immaturity? And now you're finally at a point where you want women only because they've (men) driven you insane? Keeping in mind, of course, that if the right one were to come along by some miracle, and it was a guy, I'd still go for it, but this is probably not likely from what I'm seeing? Anyway...I'm thinking no, there probably isn't. Someone can feel free to help me make one up

 

[FlamingoWrangler]

Is there a sexuality type for when you're normally pansexual, but at the moment, just sick to death of guys because they start making you feel nauseated with their stupidity and immaturity? And now you're finally at a point where you want women only because they've (men) driven you insane? Keeping in mind, of course, that if the right one were to come along by some miracle, and it was a guy, I'd still go for it, but this is probably not likely from what I'm seeing? Anyway...I'm thinking no, there probably isn't. Someone can feel free to help me make one up

i am not an expert, but “fluid” seems like an appropriate term.

 

[Aurelia]

i am not an expert, but “fluid” seems like an appropriate term.

Isn't that more gender than sexuality? Lol. Who knows, I'm no expert either.

 

[Aurelia]

Fuck, man...

My husband's mom died today. I feel like he's going to end up having a mental breakdown at some point at this rate. He's dealt with so much death and grief and trauma and hardship...I don't know what I could possibly even say or do at this point. I'm worried I'm going to get that call one day that something's happened to him and just the thought of it scares the living hell out of me.

 

[Aurelia]

I just don't even know what to say at this point...everything feels so fucked. All I want is just to escape somewhere, somehow.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

I'm so sorry hon, I wish things were easier for you. I'm here if you need to talk.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

My sister said she's jealous of girls who have bigger butts. It's like, you can have some of my fat transferred into your ass. I don't need it at all. lol

 

[FlamingoWrangler]

@Aurelia
Ugh! A close death like that makes the burden too heavy. Sorry for the loss and the rollercoaster ride that you cant get off of.
As always, i know you will rise to the occasion. We will be here for you. ☀️

 

[Aves]

Fuck, man...

My husband's mom died today. I feel like he's going to end up having a mental breakdown at some point at this rate. He's dealt with so much death and grief and trauma and hardship...I don't know what I could possibly even say or do at this point. I'm worried I'm going to get that call one day that something's happened to him and just the thought of it scares the living hell out of me.

I’m sorry this has happened, I’m here too if you need to talk.

 

[Aves]

So I saw this post and was like “yeah great, if you could please elaborate on how to do that that would be perfect thanks” 🙄

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

View attachment 49563
So I saw this post and was like “yeah great, if you could please elaborate on how to do that that would be perfect thanks” 🙄

Lol yeah like how do I love myself?

 

[anona123]

Lol yeah like how do I love myself?

I don't know either. My therapist asked if I've apologized to the people in my life I was mean to, and I said yes. Then she asked if they forgave me and I said, well they said yes. Then she asked if I forgive myself. I said no. She's saying I have to in order to move forward. I can't forgive myself, I mean I hate myself. Love? How?
These peronality disorders are horrible. It's not like a broken bone you know you need to fix.

 

[Aves]

Lol yeah like how do I love myself?

I always get like that when people say “you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself” or “don’t worry”and I get that it’s well meaning but I’m also like “well obviously yeah, but if I could do that do you not think I would already be doing it?” Lol

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

I don't know either. My therapist asked if I've apologized to the people in my life I was mean to, and I said yes. Then she asked if they forgave me and I said, well they said yes. Then she asked if I forgive myself. I said no. She's saying I have to in order to move forward. I can't forgive myself, I mean I hate myself. Love? How?
These peronality disorders are horrible. It's not like a broken bone you know you need to fix.

Yeah it's like....I can love other people easily, but I find myself hard to love. Because I just feel like I'm a bad person for whatever reason.

 

[Aurelia]

Called him this morning. He's still kind of in shock and just "blah"...I'm sad, but then I feel guilty for feeling sad because I'm not technically the one going through this. But I'm sad because I'm afraid to lose him permanently at this point.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

I always get like that when people say “you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself” or “don’t worry”and I get that it’s well meaning but I’m also like “well obviously yeah, but if I could do that do you not think I would already be doing it?” Lol

It's just an ingrained behavior at this point. Decades of doing that...well it's hard to undo now.

 

[Aves]

I don't know either. My therapist asked if I've apologized to the people in my life I was mean to, and I said yes. Then she asked if they forgave me and I said, well they said yes. Then she asked if I forgive myself. I said no. She's saying I have to in order to move forward. I can't forgive myself, I mean I hate myself. Love? How?
These peronality disorders are horrible. It's not like a broken bone you know you need to fix.

Absolutely, and a broken bone is usually pretty simple to fix but it’s like how on earth do you fix a broken personality?

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

 

[Aurelia]

And I'm also most likely going into work tomorrow. Stayed home for the past 5 days and feel pretty much exactly the same, so I guess I might as well. Can't afford to keep losing pay.

...but also have to work on my philosophy paper today. Sigh.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

I took a quiz and it said I'll be pregnant 4 times in the next 4 years. I find that highly unlikely. lol