BPD Support Thread

[Aurelia]

That's awesome and of course he is welcome here too. Like my friend from Norway wanted to come and see me, but he's not sure if he should bring his husband along or not because I don't know him. I was like whatever, just bring him if you want. The more the merrier I guess, lol.

I get it hun, and I wish things were easier for you. I hope that it will get better at some point. I know you can do whatever you set your mind to. I've always thought that you are an incredibly strong person and I look up to you. Sorry I wasn't on earlier, the internet has been out all day and I'm actually just on whatever network the phone has.

You don't have to apologize for that. I'm just fucking pissed off today. It's technically a new day, but still feels like a continuation of yesterday. I don't want to fucking start this job today/tomorrow. I'm trying to tell myself I have to and there's no getting around it, but meanwhile, in my head, I'm still trying to find a way to get around it lol. Can I just like pack my shit and come to you instead? Lol

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

You don't have to apologize for that. I'm just fucking pissed off today. It's technically a new day, but still feels like a continuation of yesterday. I don't want to fucking start this job today/tomorrow. I'm trying to tell myself I have to and there's no getting around it, but meanwhile, in my head, I'm still trying to find a way to get around it lol. Can I just like pack my shit and come to you instead? Lol

Yeah, that would be pretty amazing actually. You remember a long time ago, people used to be able to mail themselves or other people? Maybe we could just do that again. Lol

 

[Aurelia]

Yeah, that would be pretty amazing actually. You remember a long time ago, people used to be able to mail themselves or other people? Maybe we could just do that again. Lol

Wait, that was a thing? Lol. I mean, I was just going to go with like a train ticket or some shit, but I suppose I could bring up the idea at the post office and see what they say LOL .

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

Wait, that was a thing? Lol. I mean, I was just going to go with like a train ticket or some shit, but I suppose I could bring up the idea at the post office and see what they say LOL .

Yeah, I think that people used to ship kids or animals in the mail. Obviously it's not legal anymore for certain reasons. But yeah, you can try it and see if you get away with it. Lol

 

[Aurelia]

Yeah, I think that people used to ship kids or animals in the mail. Obviously it's not legal anymore for certain reasons. But yeah, you can try it and see if you get away with it. Lol

Yo...omg. I didn't realize lizards looked so fucking freaky when they're sleeping. Im sitting next to the motherfucker and his eyes are just pure fucking white...like wtf.

 

[Aurelia]

But yeah, so it's past fucking 3 AM...I'm downstairs because he fucking pissed me off that badly. And he's just fucking upstairs asleep like everything is cool. I don't think he even realizes I'm not there. Or if he does, I guess he must not give a fuck. I fucking hate that shit. If things aren't okay, I'm not going to go the fuck to sleep. And 100% guaranteed that as soon as he gets up, he'll expect shit to just be normal. "Uh, duh...why are you so upset?" Gee, I don't fucking know...maybe because I've been up all night feeling like shit while you were sound asleep like a jackoff?

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

Lol he has a lizard? That's awesome, never seen one up clos before. I wish he realized he was fucking up, and that you weren't hurting like this

 

[Aurelia]

Not him, but our roommate has one. Also has a dog, several cats, guinea pig, fish...when I first noticed that shit I was like holy fuck...that's a lot of fucking aanimals. Like, why? Lol

 

[Aurelia]

Okay, I just got another reading that yet again told me someone younger was coming into my life with dark hair and eyes. And "younger" I just realized could mean in their 20s or 30s. And not necessarily younger than me. Now that shits got me real fucking curious...because it's kind of unclear as to whether it's a male or female and whether they have a negative or positive effect on me. I have this weird feeling that I might meet them at my new job somehow, though. I'm also being given a pretty clear message to not do anything impulsive at this time and just "go with the flow" so to speak. I kept getting hints that something hidden was about to be revealed for like the past week or so maybe...and that I'd be happy with the result. And it would seem from the looks of things that this dark-haired mystery person may possibly have something to do with that. Lol I'm fucking trying so hard to put the pieces together in my head and figure this shit out, but I really don't know...it could be fucking anything. I don't think I'm going to figure out shit until maybe the 1st or 2nd week of april based on what it's telling me.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

Hmm that is weird...I hope the mysteries will be revealed to you eventually.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

My friend asked if I use TikTok. She said she has no interest in it, and I really don't, either. But I've been thinking about making YouTube videos of my day to day life. It might help me to become more confident and be more at ease with people.

 

[Aurelia]

People don't seem to get that borderlines have pretty much a language of their own.

For example, "I'm not sure why you want to deal with me" means "I'm afraid you're going to stop wanting to dealing with me...don't leave me". Like, learn to speak our motherfucking language. It's not that hard.

 

[Aurelia]

Except dealing should be deal*

but you get the fucking point.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

People don't seem to get that borderlines have pretty much a language of their own.

For example, "I'm not sure why you want to deal with me" means "I'm afraid you're going to stop wanting to dealing with me...don't leave me". Like, learn to speak our motherfucking language. It's not that hard.

They don't even try to understand and it sucks. The only ones who really seen to get it are other people who have it.

 

[Aurelia]

They don't even try to understand and it sucks. The only ones who really seen to get it are other people who have it.

He thought that when I said that, I was trying to push him away. Like no, dude...lol. complete opposite. If I'm trying to push you away, I'm going to act like a royal bitch.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

Like when my mom says I'll get used to being alone if something happens to her. I never got used to it, so it doesn't just change.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

I've been scared of being alone since I was a kid, but she thinks I would be able to handle another person important to me. Like yeah, that's not how this works.

 

[Aurelia]

Like when my mom says I'll get used to being alone if something happens to her. I never got used to it, so it doesn't just change.

You won't be alone. And yeah, it's hard. Still not anywhere near "over" my dad yet. But I know I'm not alone either way and you won't be either.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

You won't be alone. And yeah, it's hard. Still not anywhere near "over" my dad yet. But I know I'm not alone either way and you won't be either.

That's true, because I'll still have everyone in here. But I the physical sense, I will be alone. And that's one reason I can't live on my own. I mean she needs to read more to understand why that affects me so deeply.

 

[Aurelia]

That's true, because I'll still have everyone in here. But I the physical sense, I will be alone. And that's one reason I can't live on my own. I mean she needs to read more to understand why that affects me so deeply.

That's what I recommended too. I was like, look, I think you really do need to dobatnleast some research into it because we constantly have a lot of miscommunication and misunderstandings happening...and he's like it doesn't matter, we just need to talk to figure it out. Like, he expects me to be able to explain to him every little thing that goes through my head and why. I can't always fucking do that because I'm not always thinking straight enough to do so.