BPD Support Thread

[Witty_Sarcasm]

I'm wondering what happened to my friends who disappeared, like Gerry. Not his real name, just a nickname given to him by Aurelia. We need to get Unsolved Mysteries on his ass. lol

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

We were all joking about making him a eunuch. Maybe that's what scared him off. lol

 

[Gwyrdd]

Lol maybe he didn't like being found out

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

Don't worry, we won't do that to you.

Yet.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

Well he wasn't gonna be found out. No idea what the guy looks or sounds like after years. And he saw plenty of my shows. Maybe that's why he's gone. He went blind and insane from seeing that. lol

 

[Aurelia]

If I wanted to be a zombie I'd just get some xanies lol.

Xanax just makes me normal. Goes to show how fucked up my head is. Although granted, I do become a bit more impulsive if I take a high enough dose. There have been several occasions where I suddenly just decided to start stealing random shit from stores on Xannies that I didn't even need.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

Xanax just makes me normal. Goes to show how fucked up my head is. Although granted, I do become a bit more impulsive if I take a high enough dose. There have been several occasions where I suddenly just decided to start stealing random shit from stores on Xannies that I didn't even need.

Like what? lol

 

[Gwyrdd]

Xanax just makes me normal. Goes to show how fucked up my head is. Although granted, I do become a bit more impulsive if I take a high enough dose. There have been several occasions where I suddenly just decided to start stealing random shit from stores on Xannies that I didn't even need.

LOL yeah my klepto boyfriend has stealing random shit down, I don't have to. The other day he went to Walmart for groceries, and calls me and is like "I got the expensive paint from the craft store" just randomly decided he wanted to paint so stole like 10 bottles of the stuff lmao

But yeah nah, I like Xanax for when my anxiety is like kill myself bad, but if I'm not there I'm not taking it again, I might as well be dead on benzos.

 

[Aurelia]

LOL yeah my klepto boyfriend has stealing random shit down, I don't have to. The other day he went to Walmart for groceries, and calls me and is like "I got the expensive paint from the craft store" just randomly decided he wanted to paint so stole like 10 bottles of the stuff lmao

But yeah nah, I like Xanax for when my anxiety is like kill myself bad, but if I'm not there I'm not taking it again, I might as well be dead on benzos.

Kpins are the only thing keeping me somewhat stable and functional right now. Without them, I ended up going back to my husband and smoking crack nonstop for about 3 days straight. So yeah, it would seem I kind of need them right now. I like them better than Xanax for the simple fact that they last about twice as long. They're a bit weaker, but not by much.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

My mom almost fell on me so I figured I'd be safe in my room. 😆

But seriously though, I can deal with most people when they're out of it, but not her for some reason.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

I was gonna post this on the shitty food porn Reddit, but I'll put it here instead.
Hash browns, fried eggs, honey, and Sriracha I had on toast a few weeks ago. Lol

 

[Gwyrdd]

Holy fuck, some people are so fucking pretentious.

"Most people your age aren't still drinking and doing drugs the way you do."

Like ok first off, that's categorically untrue. And second, most people my age don't have fucking BPD??????

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

Holy fuck, some people are so fucking pretentious.

"Most people your age aren't still drinking and doing drugs the way you do."

Like ok first off, that's categorically untrue. And second, most people my age don't have fucking BPD??????

That's just stupid....I mean I did that stuff when I was over 30. There's not an age limit for having addictions.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

Or whatever you want to call it...an escape, maybe. Mine was that way but also an addiction. One I try my best not to go back to, but it's hard sometimes.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

Some people won't ever get it, but they don't need to be dicks about it. Only when you have mental illness will you understand why there may be a need for escape.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

I wonder if Unsolved Mysteries can find out where my sanity went. Lol

 

[Dope]

I like when someone worries about me. Who else is going to? But I haven't taken any more Vicodin since I last posted about it. Nothing to be proud of, I just don't have that many more left.

I don't like the whole daylight savings time either. It's fucking depressing.

And I don't know how fall went by so fast. I guess I was busy with an art thing I had to do for all of October and had to use all of September to set it up. It was NOT worth it and was filled with so many disappointments. Now I have been suicidal since it's been over, like what's next? Nothing matters. What's there to live for now? As if that was anything to live for to begin with. Who cares about art anyway? I don't feel like making any right now. I feel like staying in bed.

 

[Dope]

Sometimes I think my BPD is just me in a constant state of PTSD since I do also have C-PTSD. Making a new friend just triggers all that PTSD all over again because I just fear it will all go to shit, because inevitably, it will. I just assume keep to myself.

During my art thingy I met another nonbinary person and I got all excited because there aren't people like that around here. But now I'm like...maybe I shouldn't try to peruse a friendship with them because I'll probably just ruin it.

I came on here hoping to make a friend and that hasn't happened either. I'm a goddamn loser. I don't think anyone hates themselves as much as I do. I don't deserve to live.

And today I just feel sick. I think I have a fever. I mean, kinda wish I did so I can just be taken care of--how pathetic is that? See what I mean?

I will stop now.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

I like when people worry about me, too. It's nice to feel wanted in some way. Or that someone will care about what happens to me. I can understand the not wanting to make friends thing because you might be let down again. You aren't a loser and I'm sure you can find friends here. I like talking to you here. I hope things get better for you at some point.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

I read this and I was like...wow, it reminds me of how most people seem to see me. Except those who actually get it.


“Do not proffer sympathy to the mentally ill; it is a bottomless pit. Tell them firmly, “I am not paid to listen to this drivel — you are a terminal fool!” Otherwise, they make you as crazy as they are.”

― William S. Burroughs