BPD Support Thread

[Aurelia]

Also another little bit of good news...turns out I actually had too many courses on my academic plan, so my school counselor took off positive psych completely for me today, which means I only have 6 left to go instead of 7.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

I'm drinking a lot and my liver hurts now. But I feel like some PTSD was unknowingly triggered, and that's why I need to cope.

 

[Aurelia]

Also, douchebag seems to have gotten the picture that I don't care what he has to say anymore unless it's about work. And we both want to keep our jobs, so I'm pretty sure he'll keep his mouth shut at this point about what happened with us.

 

[Aurelia]

I'm drinking a lot and my liver hurts now. But I feel like some PTSD was unknowingly triggered, and that's why I need to cope.

PTSD in what sense?

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

PTSD in what sense?

Like with anger and fighting. Even if I sense a bit of it, it sends me into a tailspin. The cops would come to my house to break up drunken brawls and I can remember hiding behind a chair to avoid it when I was like 6 years old. My therapist thinks I don't have PTSD but anger can turn me into a frightened mess, so I beg to differ there.

 

[Aurelia]

Like with anger and fighting. Even if I sense a bit of it, it sends me into a tailspin. The cops would come to my house to break up drunken brawls and I can remember hiding behind a chair to avoid it when I was like 6 years old. My therapist thinks I don't have PTSD but anger can turn me into a frightened mess, so I beg to differ there.

What is your reasoning for why you think you do have it and what's hers for thinking you don't? Fear by itself of course doesn't warrant ptsd, but it depends on other symptoms and how they manifest

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

What is your reasoning for why you think you do have it and what's hers for thinking you don't? Fear by itself of course doesn't warrant ptsd, but it depends on other symptoms and how they manifest

She thinks I don't have all the symptoms. But I was thinking more along the lines of CPTSD.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

How can I type so well when I'm stone cold drunk? I honestly think it's just rote memory at this point.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

I've had this thread for a few years, but drunk now and shamelessly promoting my shit. lol

https://www.suicideforum.com/community/threads/wittys-funtime-house.152052/

 

[Aurelia]

She thinks I don't have all the symptoms. But I was thinking more along the lines of CPTSD.

It's a possibility. Trauma and BPD do often result in a CPTSD diagnosis.

 

[Sevven]

So closing procedures went pretty well I didn't have to have her tell me what to do and basically did it all myself. I should definitely have my keys and alarm code by next week at this rate. Who would have figured that I could actually find a job I don't hate and be a decent manager lol. I always thought I'd suck at it but I guess I didn't give myself enough credit.

Woohooooo!!!!! You rock!!!

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

Do you guys feel like BPD makes it harder to quit your addictions? I feel like it's easier to get addicted and harder to quit, and people with BPD don't understand why.

 

[Gwyrdd]

Do you guys feel like BPD makes it harder to quit your addictions? I feel like it's easier to get addicted and harder to quit, and people with BPD don't understand why.

I find quitting easy actually. Wanting to quit is harder. But once I want to quit anything walking away like it means nothing to me is easy af. Withdrawals? I've been addicted to alcohol, benzos and opioids. And I've withdrawn from them all. Technically they could all kill me, hopefully will, but if they don't, I've had worse symptoms without chemical intervention. Not that withdrawing from anything is fun. It's just not as bad as I've ever been.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

I find quitting easy actually. Wanting to quit is harder. But once I want to quit anything walking away like it means nothing to me is easy af. Withdrawals? I've been addicted to alcohol, benzos and opioids. And I've withdrawn from them all. Technically they could all kill me, hopefully will, but if they don't, I've had worse symptoms without chemical intervention. Not that withdrawing from anything is fun. It's just not as bad as I've ever been.

I think I get where you're coming from with everything you said.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

So here's my update.... still too warm. Been laying in bed for a while. Hearing music from a game I played hours ago. But I'm lucid enough to know that's not real. Feel dehydrated and hungry. Will eat and drink and hopefully pass out in bed.

 

[Angie74]

Hope you're okay, Witty.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

Hope you're okay, Witty.

Thank you I have Covid and just trying to get well now.

 

[Aurelia]

I feel like it's easier to get addicted and harder to quit,

Lol yes, C, that's pretty much how it works.

 

[Aurelia]

Thank you I have Covid and just trying to get well now.

Everything will be okay ❤

 

[Aurelia]

I find quitting easy actually. Wanting to quit is harder. But once I want to quit anything walking away like it means nothing to me is easy af. Withdrawals? I've been addicted to alcohol, benzos and opioids. And I've withdrawn from them all. Technically they could all kill me, hopefully will, but if they don't, I've had worse symptoms without chemical intervention. Not that withdrawing from anything is fun. It's just not as bad as I've ever been.

The only withdrawal I'd be truly afraid of having to go through again is methadone because holy fuck did that shit hurt. That was most definitely one of the worst things I've ever felt, and I'm generally pretty tolerant when it comes to physical w/d compared to most. But I also wouldn't be stupid enough to get on it again in the first place.