Addiction is something I do get because I've struggled with it too, but that in no way excuses his behavior toward you. If anything, a brother should be protective...of you, that is, not his friends. And that's regardless of whether he's younger or older. As for gender, I think the entire concept is stupid, which is why I've always defined myself as pan. There's no clear definition of male/female and never has been, even though some people like to think otherwise. To me, that makes no difference; it's who you are as a person that matters, and that doesn't change based on what gender you choose to define yourself as. But yeah, family is often not accepting of that. I've never come out to mine as pan for that very reason. And I'm right there with you on the sexual, physical, and emotional abuse. They think I'm a liar, though, about the first two, and the third they'll also deny until they're blue in the face. I will say that it's thanks to them I have a roof over my head right now, but still doesn't excuse everything else. They like to think it does, but it doesn't.