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BPD Support Thread
- Thread starter Aurelia
- Start date
I'm surprised my depression is still moderate, considering I've been worse off lately. My therapist isn't exactly sure where to go from here. She put in a request for me to have virtual DBT sessions, but my insurance still hasn't approved it for some reason. If they don't, then it's like $300 per session, which I obviously can't afford. So if she cuts me off, I'll be back to where I was before.
So about the whole "not wanting to date someone I work with again" thing...I'm totally now dating him, lol. We both realized we had off tomorrow and...well, yeah...lol. So I guess we'll see how it goes. On the surface, he seems to be exactly what I'm looking for: both confident and considerate, which is a rare find in itself, intelligent, likes metal, is open and honest and communicative, and seems to want loyalty and a real commitment. And bonus, he's definitely been through some shit in his life, and isn't a bitch.
Now, if the combination of all that isn't unique as fuck, I don't know what is.
We both agreed we have to act normal at work, though...that should be interesting. Lol.
Now, if the combination of all that isn't unique as fuck, I don't know what is.
We both agreed we have to act normal at work, though...that should be interesting. Lol.
I want to drink again because I feel I'm going to lose everyone. My sister tried to kill herself at least 5 times, and I'm worried she'll succeed one day. I'm worried that my mom will end up drinking herself to death. I'm concerned with some friends too. So I'm kind of in the mood of wanting to escape reality and not caring at all.
And there I go, just drank some whiskey and I'm thinking...I really missed this, it's really good. If I'm going to lose everyone through drinking, drugs, suicide, or abandonment, why should I give a damn about what happens to me? I don't care enough about myself to be healthy. There's 3 and a half years of sobriety down the drain. I don't feel sick, it didn't burn, I just feel like I picked up where I left off. And part of me feels this is the right thing to do. I'm already feeling relaxed and all I did was take a sip. People are going to be disappointed in me...I don't care anymore. I don't care about anything but this.
So everything seems to have went well today with R...I think I may move back in with my mom if it continues to go well because then I'll be closer to him :P
We went to see the new Halloween...and I have to say, a dark movie theater was one of my better ideas lol. Nothing TOO inappropriate happened, but he's very touchy feely, which resulted in a lot of making out and sexual frustration lol. And when we parted ways, he was like, "So now you're officially mine" lol. I was like, "absolutely".
We went to see the new Halloween...and I have to say, a dark movie theater was one of my better ideas lol. Nothing TOO inappropriate happened, but he's very touchy feely, which resulted in a lot of making out and sexual frustration lol. And when we parted ways, he was like, "So now you're officially mine" lol. I was like, "absolutely".
