BPD Support Thread

[Witty_Sarcasm]

But C, what would you do, though, if someone you've spent 9 years with calls you up and says he hadn't eaten in 24 hours and has to steal dog food?

I mean I would feel bad of course, but he's still making those decisions for himself. You can't force him to make the right ones if he doesn't want to. Only he can do that.

 

[Aurelia]

I mean I would feel bad of course, but he's still making those decisions for himself. You can't force him to make the right ones if he doesn't want to. Only he can do that.

I know...it's just so goddamned stressful. Thanks.

 

[Aves]

Wish I felt more at home here. But you guys all know each other. I'm so tired of living with this illness and hating myself. I'm tired of being scared almost every second of every day. I'm tired of the lonliness that never eases up. I'm tired of still loving and wanting my ex, 9 months after I broke up with him. Sorry for the rant.

Hi @Angie74, it’s great that you’ve posted on here, that’s a really big step. Everyone has been so welcoming to me, not only on this thread but on the whole forum. I guess I knew that I wanted to connect with like minded people so I just sort of barged my way in . I know that’s not easy to do for everyone though. I’m sorry you’re feeling this way, I can definitely relate. And I think it’s a good thing to have a rant, this is definitely a safe space to do that here.

 

[Aves]

I'm basically finally done my Christmas shopping by the way...decorations, gifts, cards.... Except for stocking stuffers for me and my brother (which I'll end up spending another 50 bucks or so on at this rate lol..) And then if my aunt and uncle end up coming over (which I kind of doubt) will also have to get them a gift too. So I guess kind of done...but not really lol.

Here's the finished product..

View attachment 49289

That looks lovely, and those stockings are amazing!

 

[Aves]

I'm also sleeping pretty shitty. Had a sleep paralysis episode last night. And I swear, this type of shit gets worse when we're in contact. My anxiety increases about tenfold. And yet, I still can't stay away. So bottom line, I'm an idiot...albeit, perfectly conscious of this fact. Though, now that I think about it, perhaps that makes it even worse and more pathetic...lol.

You’re definitely not an idiot, but I understand why you feel that way at the moment. You care about someone deeply, and that is a good thing but I know that that can feel like a curse to love and care for others especially if they’re damaging to you. Sleep paralysis is awful, I get that and night terrors when I’m stressed too. I hope that eases for you. It sounds like a really difficult situation to be in.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

I'm also sleeping pretty shitty. Had a sleep paralysis episode last night. And I swear, this type of shit gets worse when we're in contact. My anxiety increases about tenfold. And yet, I still can't stay away. So bottom line, I'm an idiot...albeit, perfectly conscious of this fact. Though, now that I think about it, perhaps that makes it even worse and more pathetic...lol.

You're not though, you just care about him. And it's not pathetic...he just has a hold on you.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

This is just me singing in my normal voice. lol

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

I could be in the Chipettes actually, with my high pitched voice.

 

[Aurelia]

He fucking woke me up at 5 in the morning, claiming he had a seizure, even though he's taking benzos at the moment. So I don't see how that's even fucking possible. Knowing him, he most likely got high and just nodded out on the phone. And then he has the balls to try to imply he wants me to give him some of MY benzos again. I said fucking no, forget about it. I've done more than enough for you, so try being fucking grateful rather than making me give you more and more.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

He fucking woke me up at 5 in the morning, claiming he had a seizure, even though he's taking benzos at the moment. So I don't see how that's even fucking possible. Knowing him, he most likely got high and just nodded out on the phone. And then he has the balls to try to imply he wants me to give him some of MY benzos again. I said fucking no, forget about it. I've done more than enough for you, so try being fucking grateful rather than making me give you more and more.

Good, don't give in to him if he's going to abuse your trust like that.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

Why are there so many elementary and middle school aged kids posting on YouTube? I feel like a grandma now

 

[Aurelia]

Why are there so many elementary and middle school aged kids posting on YouTube? I feel like a grandma now

Because our generation didn't know how to keep their pants up. Still don't. Lol.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

Because our generation didn't know how to keep their pants up. Still don't. Lol.

Once someone asked me if my nephew was my grandson. I don't think I look that old, though. lol

 

[Aurelia]

Wow. He had the nerve to say, "all I ask is for a couple of pins, and you act like I'm asking for a piece of your heart". I said motherfucker you've crushed what was left of that, I have none left.

 

[Aurelia]

A piece of my fucking heart...that's rich coming from him. Unfuckingbelievable.

Once someone asked me if my nephew was my grandson. I don't think I look that old, though. lol

Nah, you definitely don't. If he was your grandson, you would have had to have kids as a teenager.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

A piece of my fucking heart...that's rich coming from him. Unfuckingbelievable.


Nah, you definitely don't. If he was your grandson, you would have had to have kids as a teenager.

Wow, he must be full of one liners. :P
And yeah...the person who asked was kinda weird anyway. lol

 

[Aurelia]

Wow, he must be full of one liners. :P
And yeah...the person who asked was kinda weird anyway. lol

Feels like I don't have much of a heart anymore. Just a black hole. And he's full of something, all right...but shit is more the word, I think, rather than one liners.

 

[Aurelia]

And he fucking hits me with the whole "I don't know how much time I have left" thing constantly. Because he knows that thought scares the shit out of me.

 

[Witty_Sarcasm]

And he fucking hits me with the whole "I don't know how much time I have left" thing constantly. Because he knows that thought scares the shit out of me.

It seems like he's doing that to manipulative your feelings and so you'll help him with more stuff while he doesn't change at all.

 

[Aurelia]

Like, fuck, I felt like I needed a benzo just after that conversation.

It seems like he's doing that to manipulative your feelings and so you'll help him with more stuff while he doesn't change at all.

Yeah, tell me about it. He has this delusional belief that as long as he thinks what he's saying is true, it's okay to say it. No matter how much it may hurt someone.