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BPD Support Thread
- Thread starter Aurelia
- Start date
And especially now that I fell in love with that little girl...
She's so anxious, and definitely has separation anxiety. Reminds me so much of me as a kid. I gave her a bracelet that I had gotten for myself originally at the crystal shop. It's mainly for protection. I told her whenever she gets scared, to remember that as long as she has that on, nothing can hurt her and she happily took it and hugged me.
She's so anxious, and definitely has separation anxiety. Reminds me so much of me as a kid. I gave her a bracelet that I had gotten for myself originally at the crystal shop. It's mainly for protection. I told her whenever she gets scared, to remember that as long as she has that on, nothing can hurt her and she happily took it and hugged me.
I don't think he understands it much, no...I'm not acting on all the bullshit that's circling around in my head, though. That's probably the only reason he's finding me tolerable. But I don't know, we just have some misunderstandings sometimes. Or at least, that's what it feels like. He definitely likes to talk things out. He doesn't just sweep things under the rug from what I've seen so far. But he also can be kind of a stubborn ass at times and not realize it. And definitely has a temper...like, he seriously freaks out at every little thing. He gets over it fairly quickly, though...and so do I...but still.
I think that’s a good sign that he likes to talk things out, and even though he has a temper at least he gets over it quickly. I guess it’s going to take some time for you both to adapt to each other’s reactions. To me, the way you’re handling your feelings sounds like a pretty healthy way of dealing with it. Relationships are hard anyway but having bpd makes it even harder, plus you’re going through your own shit too with your recovery so it’s a lot on your plate all at the same time.
Do you know what’s triggering this feeling? Please talk through it with me if you need to, if you can. It’s so horrible when you don’t know what’s causing these feelings, I feel like I’m stuck in another “split” at the moment and I just want to feel “normal” but I don’t even know what that is anymore.
So I could see right away that his daughter is very anxious in general, and part of that anxiety is most definitely fear of abandonment. She doesn't like being alone at all and wanted either me or her dad beside her almost all the time.
Like, if I say to her, "honey, I'm going out back to smoke a cigarette," she asks if she can come. I say I'm going out to the car real quick to grab her chips for her, and she wants to come. I ask if she wants me to step out of the room for a moment while she's changing in the morning, and she says, "no, stay". She gets very attached to people very quickly...and I could see it in her face that she was worried she'd never see me again. Poor kid looked miserable the moment she opened her eyes. And this whole back and forth thing with her mom and dad (2 weeks at her moms and 1 weekend with her dad) is most definitely not helping matters.
That's, like, literally the initial makings of BPD right there. I don't want to scare the shit out of my fiancé by telling him that, though, so I just said we need to get a lawyer and get her some help with the abandonment thing because if shit keeps going this way, all of this is going to transfer into adulthood. There's no doubt about that. She reminds me so much of me as a kid and I don't want her to have to go through that. I want to help her so badly. If we could somehow get her out of her (narcissistic bitch of a) mother's clutches and get her some therapy...I think that would probably be best at this point. But either way, being passed around back and forth between her parents and the sense of instability its causing her certainly isn't helping her any.
Like, if I say to her, "honey, I'm going out back to smoke a cigarette," she asks if she can come. I say I'm going out to the car real quick to grab her chips for her, and she wants to come. I ask if she wants me to step out of the room for a moment while she's changing in the morning, and she says, "no, stay". She gets very attached to people very quickly...and I could see it in her face that she was worried she'd never see me again. Poor kid looked miserable the moment she opened her eyes. And this whole back and forth thing with her mom and dad (2 weeks at her moms and 1 weekend with her dad) is most definitely not helping matters.
That's, like, literally the initial makings of BPD right there. I don't want to scare the shit out of my fiancé by telling him that, though, so I just said we need to get a lawyer and get her some help with the abandonment thing because if shit keeps going this way, all of this is going to transfer into adulthood. There's no doubt about that. She reminds me so much of me as a kid and I don't want her to have to go through that. I want to help her so badly. If we could somehow get her out of her (narcissistic bitch of a) mother's clutches and get her some therapy...I think that would probably be best at this point. But either way, being passed around back and forth between her parents and the sense of instability its causing her certainly isn't helping her any.
It's kind of like I'm watching my own life happen all over again in a way, though. I mean, I wasn't constantly going back and forth between my parents. Rather, I grew up with my mom while my dad was still in Ukraine, but I can see now more than ever how that probably helped fuck my head up. Because either way, both situations are still just as unstable. I was attached to my dad for the first 6 years of my life, and then suddenly ripped away, only seeing him a couple more times throughout my life. Then I became increasingly more and more clingy to my mom, and nothing was ever done to help me overcome it, so it transferred to my adult relationships. And now I'm watching something similar happen all over again. Breaks my fucking heart.