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BPD Support Thread

Aurelia

🔥 A Fire Inside 🔥
SF Supporter
After being single for over a year (the longest time I've ever been single) something major has changed. I'm not sure what, but the idea of being with someone else seems kind of pointless. So I'll get a hug at night, an "I love you" during the day. What else is the point behind a relationship? I think I may have lost my passion for them...as well as my BPD diagnosis.
 

Witty_Sarcasm

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After being single for over a year (the longest time I've ever been single) something major has changed. I'm not sure what, but the idea of being with someone else seems kind of pointless. So I'll get a hug at night, an "I love you" during the day. What else is the point behind a relationship? I think I may have lost my passion for them...as well as my BPD diagnosis.
I'm really proud of you for getting to that point. I wish I knew how to do that. Sometimes I think I'd rather be dead than be alone. It's just scary for me and I don't like my own company very much. I wish it wasn't like that, but not sure how to stop.
 

Ieatotters

Well-Known Member
I'm really proud of you for getting to that point. I wish I knew how to do that. Sometimes I think I'd rather be dead than be alone. It's just scary for me and I don't like my own company very much. I wish it wasn't like that, but not sure how to stop.
I hear that, although I have now been single since being literally left holding the baby just before the pandemic (that was a real abandonment, not one of my imagined ones). It's not as bad as imagined, and certainly better than some of my relationships, but I still believe that being alone is somehow a flaw on my part, and that being single means I am unloveable and irrevocably broken.
 

Witty_Sarcasm

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SF Supporter
I hear that, although I have now been single since being literally left holding the baby just before the pandemic (that was a real abandonment, not one of my imagined ones). It's not as bad as imagined, and certainly better than some of my relationships, but I still believe that being alone is somehow a flaw on my part, and that being single means I am unloveable and irrevocably broken.
I don't think you are unlovable, but I can understand why you feel that way. I feel the same about myself.
 

Witty_Sarcasm

🦄🦜🧁Rainbow Unicorn (Deluxe Edition) ®🌈🌝💖
SF Supporter
Do people ever describe you as childish? I've been called that but my emotions were stunted somewhere in childhood so it's not completely my fault.
 

ryuko

faitodayo!!
SF Supporter
im really happy there’s a thread for this. i recently got diagnosed with BPD after an argument with a friend sent me to the psych ward. (and i got reported as missing bc no one knew where i was heh)

ive been really lonely ever since. no one messaged me all the time like they did. it felt like no one cared as much as they did and they were my favorite person.

i have a group of friends besides them but i feel like my mental health has them avoiding on walking on egg shells bc of me. im scared every day i’ll lose them and i will have nothing. the person who was my escape and felt like he was the only person who understood me i haven’t talked to them since a decade ago.

because of my falling out with the friend i had an argument with my symptoms have been up the roof and it sucks so much. it makes me regress back into the sad and hopeless shell of a person i was a decade ago.
 

Innocent Forever

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Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
im really happy there’s a thread for this. i recently got diagnosed with BPD after an argument with a friend sent me to the psych ward. (and i got reported as missing bc no one knew where i was heh)

ive been really lonely ever since. no one messaged me all the time like they did. it felt like no one cared as much as they did and they were my favorite person.

i have a group of friends besides them but i feel like my mental health has them avoiding on walking on egg shells bc of me. im scared every day i’ll lose them and i will have nothing. the person who was my escape and felt like he was the only person who understood me i haven’t talked to them since a decade ago.

because of my falling out with the friend i had an argument with my symptoms have been up the roof and it sucks so much. it makes me regress back into the sad and hopeless shell of a person i was a decade ago.
Sending so much love
 

Ieatotters

Well-Known Member
I have an ethical question for you guys. The worst thing I have ever said ended up getting my sister arrested (long story, but she had to go to court, the whole shebang). At the time she said we were never to speak of it again. I don't remember what I said due to a combination of being way too drunk and stress blanks, so it keeps coming up in my thought spirals, and I feel like knowing would help. This all happened about 15 years ago. Would it be wise to ask her what I said or is that just taking up old pain?
 

Innocent Forever

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Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
I have an ethical question for you guys. The worst thing I have ever said ended up getting my sister arrested (long story, but she had to go to court, the whole shebang). At the time she said we were never to speak of it again. I don't remember what I said due to a combination of being way too drunk and stress blanks, so it keeps coming up in my thought spirals, and I feel like knowing would help. This all happened about 15 years ago. Would it be wise to ask her what I said or is that just taking up old pain?
It depends on your relationship. Whether you both have capacity and wherewithal to deal with it. Whether you both have support.
 

Innocent Forever

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Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
Well, probably no on the support. We are close, not sure on the capacity to deal with it part. She's never really been one for letting us know how she is really doing.
The question then is how high is the risk vs how how is the likely benefit and what weighs what.

Also you're asking for your sake. If it's gonna hurt her is it worth your hurting her?

Will you ruminate any less if you know because if ruminating is a struggle how likely is it that it'll transfer to what you now know instead of what you wonder?

Just a couple thoughts. I don't know either of you so it's for you to think about....

Sending love and sparkles
 

Ieatotters

Well-Known Member
The question then is how high is the risk vs how how is the likely benefit and what weighs what.

Also you're asking for your sake. If it's gonna hurt her is it worth your hurting her?

Will you ruminate any less if you know because if ruminating is a struggle how likely is it that it'll transfer to what you now know instead of what you wonder?

Just a couple thoughts. I don't know either of you so it's for you to think about....

Sending love and sparkles
Thank you Innocent Forever, if only I was better at this.
 

Innocent Forever

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Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
Does anyone want to explain to me how I can have a diagnosis of bpd when I have never been assessed?

Note. I used to fit the symptoms - all but anger. And half relationships - I avoided and still avoid in many ways but less so.
I do not fit 5 out of 9 symptoms (were a psychiatrist to do a full assessment - only a psychiatrist diagnosis here - and then say you fit these symptoms in this way I'd be okay with it).
 

Aurelia

🔥 A Fire Inside 🔥
SF Supporter
Does anyone want to explain to me how I can have a diagnosis of bpd when I have never been assessed?

Note. I used to fit the symptoms - all but anger. And half relationships - I avoided and still avoid in many ways but less so.
I do not fit 5 out of 9 symptoms (were a psychiatrist to do a full assessment - only a psychiatrist diagnosis here - and then say you fit these symptoms in this way I'd be okay with it).
Just my opinion, but you don't seem very borderline to me from what I know about you.
 

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