Down a path

[Windhover]

Warning TMI.
Well this took several months all told. first I spent a couple of hoirs crying no sobbing.

Then I rented a storage unit, and hired high school peoples to load it with the things I simply couldn't part with. I donated some furniture, gave some to my kids, & gave my beautiful (I miss it!) car to my son as a graduation from college/getting first career job present.

I made a will.
Sgned the title ahead of time (very old trstworthy title company) and signed a contract with a known realtor.

Bought one way tickets. Packed 4 suitcases.
And gave up on the mental image of myself dying in the long dark winter of loneliness and f-ing cold. I may have to spend the $ from the house sale on plane tickets to see my kids.

 

[Waves]

You did great walking through those steps. You prevailed and took matters into your own hands. You give me a model for making changes. To let go of things.

 

[Windhover]

@Waves
It is really hard and not fun.
I saw myself dying there. Ironic, because the scenery is so beautiful (it's where they film Yellowstone) but all by myself all 5 months of winter was no longer possible. I miss alone time but I'll have to just work something out to deal with that issue.

 

[Waves]

Sounds like it was not easy. Actually sounds like it was painful. Change is hard. Even for the better. It includes taking risks and letting go. You analyzed your situation. You did not make your decision without much thought. Life is about changes and losses isn’t it?

 

[SillyOldBear]

Life is about changes and losses isn’t it?

So true Waves.

 

[iloverachel]

Warning TMI.
Well this took several months all told. first I spent a couple of hoirs crying no sobbing.

Then I rented a storage unit, and hired high school peoples to load it with the things I simply couldn't part with. I donated some furniture, gave some to my kids, & gave my beautiful (I miss it!) car to my son as a graduation from college/getting first career job present.

I made a will.
Sgned the title ahead of time (very old trstworthy title company) and signed a contract with a known realtor.

Bought one way tickets. Packed 4 suitcases.
And gave up on the mental image of myself dying in the long dark winter of loneliness and f-ing cold. I may have to spend the $ from the house sale on plane tickets to see my kids.

 

[AvidFan]

You did well @seabird you inspire me to move one day, I was breaking down last year at the thought of losing my house and moving 100 miles to the coast, if I make such plans again it will be a choice rather than out of desperation I hope, as I do miss the sea and coast life. I must take a day off and at least do a day trip while it's summer. I hope your path is smooth and kind to you.

 

[Windhover]

 

[Windhover]

I hope you enjoy at least a day at the coast @AvidFan . Summer crowds can be a bit much but maybe plan an autumn day's visit too. Thank you for the kind words. I hope your paths are healthy ones with peace and joy.

The strain got to me and my immune system I guess & now have a cold. So instead of going on my walk/run yesterday and today, my path is back & forth to the couch & the kettle.

 

[Windhover]

Sun is going down on another day of me doimg nothing good, being extremely sad missing my brother, & I don't even know if tjr accupuncture is doing me any good. I think it is but I don't know. I have lost the thread again. I need to go explore, but that's what got me here. I'm lost.

 

[AvidFan]

Sun is going down on another day of me doimg nothing good, being extremely sad missing my brother, & I don't even know if tjr accupuncture is doing me any good. I think it is but I don't know. I have lost the thread again. I need to go explore, but that's what got me here. I'm lost.

I hope you find your way!

 

[Windhover]

The therapist said one has to feel to heal.

 

[Daryl72]

The therapist said one has to feel to heal.

My thoughts and prayers are with you Seabird.

 

[KM76710]

The therapist said one has to feel to heal.

Feeling and caring about others as we see in you here shows that you do feel. I hope that can help you to heal yourself like the comfort you show to folks here.

 

[may71]

I don't even know if tjr accupuncture is doing me any good

While acupuncture can help with a lot of different conditions, it's not always worth it, depending on how much it costs, how much you can afford to pay, how far you have to travel to get it, and how much benefit you get from it.

If you're really relaxed during treatment, that's usually a good sign. If treatment is costing you a lot but you really don't notice feeling any different, you might want to try another method of treatment.

If you keep a mood journal, it might be easier to make a comparison between how you feel when getting acupuncture vs not. Changes can be subtle enough that it's hard to notice. The same can be true for treatments like medication.

Chinese herbal medicine is another mode of treatment that could give you more bang for the buck.

I hope things can get better soon.

Hugs Seabird

 

[Windhover]

Changes can be subtle enough that it's hard to notice.

hi @may71 Thank you for the great response. Last night I was looking back through my journal, which isn't labeled strictly a mood journal but encompasses moods. I noticed that my energy has risen and it sjows up partly in the kind of "hey this is not okay," mood. The accupuncture is subtle in its effects. This works for me I realize since medications are far too much - they don't feel right for my body or brain.
I am fortunate in that I can walk to the appointments, as the place is only .75 mile from here.

After the appointments, I follow the street to the end, which is the ocean. There's a path along the shore & I walk slowly along for a few minutes, just letting the sensations be.

I'm starting to feel things again. This is partly very sad and awful, as it is to do with trauma and the deaths of 2 people I loved and who were very close to me. But I believe what the accupuncturist told me, which is I have to feel to heal.

I might as well have a go.

hug back to you

 

[Windhover]

Rant, sorry. I'm substantially better, due to taking myself to accupuncture therapy. I know myself again, and am aware now of being very unhappy with the way my partner has changed. He thinks he is right about everyone & everything, and all of it sucks. He talks only to me because there isn't anyone else; nis assertions are that everything & everyone is bad, evil, doomed, stupid, or sucks. Now I'm in trouble because I spoke up about changing this attitude. I'm in trouble also because I am far too isolated. End rant.

 

[CrossedSeas]

I’m sorry you’re in that position @seabird. It’s hard when you’re dealing with that kind of disagreement/unhappiness in a relationship, and also dealing with being too isolated (or least I have found it so). If this is ok to say, I really respect you for knowing yourself and what you’re feeling, and doing your best to speak up about it.

 

[Waves]

Hugs

 

[Windhover]

thank you @Waves

hugs back