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How Are You Feeling Right Now?

MisterBGone

~\_✅`,')
SF Supporter
Hi, thanks so much for the response! I really, really, really appreciate it :3

Yup, I told my dad that I'm not taking messages from him about this and getting involved - he said that he understood, and I'm grateful for that, but I wish he hadn't started it in the first place. It's my mom who's still really upset with me about the fact that I don't want to cut him off completely. She yelled at me all morning and afternoon yesterday, called me a s**t and p********e, worse than a demon, told me that God is going to punish me for enabling my father to abuse her, and insulted me for being on antidepressants. I love her very much but she can be really vitriolic. She's not letting me meet up with my father or even message him, which is putting me in a tough spot. I just wish I didn't have to get involved in their fights and disputes. I'm not able to within the next two years, but I'm hoping to study abroad for college and hopefully relocate so I can live on my own and stay out of stuff like this :3
Good Luck, @From_Venus ! That sounds like nothing but sheer hell & an infinite nightmare to deal with. . . Always hard when you, as the child, have to be the grown-up, or adult, especially at this relatively early stage in your life. Just keep doing the best you can, and to reiterate what others have said, it is all about them, and none to do with you! Hopefully, you can get the heck out of there one day. For to stay or remain, may always feel a bit like you're in the line of fire, so to speak. Take care & you're doing great by the way~.* :)
 

MisterBGone

~\_✅`,')
SF Supporter
Feeling anxious. My health insurance ends in March. Waiting for all the clearances on this new job and hopefully will jump on a plan with them and hoping it all works out, but I'm worried about my medicine and mental health.
Best wishes for positive resolution / or transfer over of your plans insurance wise, Lane - as I'm sure that has got to be stressful. Only thing I might do, in your position, is say to myself, that ... sorry @Lane ~my computer shut down unexpectedly; & now i forgot what I was going to say~ oy vey? ;D Since it's out of your hands however, does no good to worry about it, until there's something to worry about. :^)
 

1964dodge

Has a monkey as a friend
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
Feeling anxious. My health insurance ends in March. Waiting for all the clearances on this new job and hopefully will jump on a plan with them and hoping it all works out, but I'm worried about my medicine and mental health.
i'm sorry that you have to deal with that @Lane . when we are young it's no big deal but as we get a bit older we need health insurance. just a suggestion for now, is it possible to get medicaid or affordable insurance through the state? it may be a good idea to look into optons just in case something happens with the job and if they have a waiting period before you can get on their insurance. i hope everything works out seamlessly and i'm pretty sure it will but just in case

mike....*hug*shake
 

zuzu

Well-Known Member
I do not feel well and I will never be. I am a monster and all the ugly words in this world. I am an stupid 60 year old female without friends, family , income or anything interesting. I spend my days in isolation self harming myself , hating myself. I have been neglected all my life why I do not neglect myself if nobody cares about. I am extremely full of anger, bitterness, rage and hatred. I know it is wrong but there is nothing else for me in this earth. I want the pain to end that's what I am rehearsing for my death. THe world will be very happy without me. If you want a picture of this monster I would sent it . I need LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE . I desperately need human touch if not i will continue self destructing myself until I am death. HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HEL P HELP HELP HEL P HELP LHELP HELP HELP HELP HELP
 

MisterBGone

~\_✅`,')
SF Supporter
I do not feel well and I will never be. I am a monster and all the ugly words in this world. I am an stupid 60 year old female without friends, family , income or anything interesting. I spend my days in isolation self harming myself , hating myself. I have been neglected all my life why I do not neglect myself if nobody cares about. I am extremely full of anger, bitterness, rage and hatred. I know it is wrong but there is nothing else for me in this earth. I want the pain to end that's what I am rehearsing for my death. THe world will be very happy without me. If you want a picture of this monster I would sent it . I need LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE . I desperately need human touch if not i will continue self destructing myself until I am death. HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HEL P HELP HELP HEL P HELP LHELP HELP HELP HELP HELP
Please know that you are none of those bad things you say about yourself. You believe them, yes, but they are not true. I think you just need some help. Maybe professional, even? Don't hesitate to ask for it, if you fear for your safety. For we want you to be well. So that you can have the chance at finding those things which will give you some fulfillment in life. And bring you happiness, and satisfaction. As opposed to self-destruction. Because that can be, a rather repetitive cycle, that is hard to break free from... once in the throes of. Hope you can keep speaking to us, too, if & when you can--& provided of course, that you find it in any way helpful at all. Try and have a good night. See you later @zuzu ~
 

MisterBGone

~\_✅`,')
SF Supporter
Jittery, adrenaline in my system from being awake for nearly 36 hours 😱 Trying to get the mix of supplements and sleep aids right so I can go to bed and enjoy a deep sleep without going into a coma.....
Hope you can find some helpful relief, that is safe for you, @AvidFan - boy, do you sure deserve it... Best to you! (that sounds painful)
 

From_Venus

Well-Known Member
It sounds like mom could use a great deal of help for her own issues, holy crap. She must be really suffering, but it's not okay for her to be taking that out on you. You're not enabling anyone just for saying you won't participate anymore. You are responsible for your actions, and likewise, they are responsible for their own. Any God that would punish you for being on antidepressants - is not worthy of the title, IMHO. I have gotten that also. If I am on medication of any kind, then I am not "sober." Problem is that I was using substances to self medicate so guess what happens when I stop drinking, smoking, and taking pills that weren't prescribed for me. For some, antidepressants are a necessity. Bear in mind that your mom is not a doctor so she doesn't know what she's talking about in that domain. I have been in your situation, and what I did at the time was just withdraw into myself and go into my head. This is not to say that's the best strategy. In hindsight, it has cost me thousands of dollars of therapy to get over. I don't know what the best course is, though. I imagine it has something to do with setting up boundaries and getting your mom to respect those. You said she's not letting you do things. What if you reply with something like, "I'm sorry you don't agree with me, but I'm an adult now and I need to make my own decisions." That way you are not accusing or judging, you're just saying you need your autonomy, which is a basic human right. I have heard that this is common in developmental psychology. Almost every young adult has to come to a critical point where they tell their parents that the child has grown and needs to be treated as an adult. It's just too bad the parents are not even adulting themselves.
Thank you 🙏 I completely agree
 

From_Venus

Well-Known Member
Good Luck, @From_Venus ! That sounds like nothing but sheer hell & an infinite nightmare to deal with. . . Always hard when you, as the child, have to be the grown-up, or adult, especially at this relatively early stage in your life. Just keep doing the best you can, and to reiterate what others have said, it is all about them, and none to do with you! Hopefully, you can get the heck out of there one day. For to stay or remain, may always feel a bit like you're in the line of fire, so to speak. Take care & you're doing great by the way~.* :)
Thank you :3
 

AvidFan

Retired Cat Staff
SF Supporter
Hope you can find some helpful relief, that is safe for you, @AvidFan - boy, do you sure deserve it... Best to you! (that sounds painful)
Thank you, I managed to stay asleep for 10 hours, which is sufficient. I feel Ok apart from some abdominal issues, but I ate a vegetarian grill thing yesterday and turns out it's made from almost pure gluten (rehydrated wheat protein) - another item off the list of things I can eat without issues 😱
 

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