How Are You Feeling Right Now?

[zuzu]

I am not feeling well and will never be OK until my demands are met. I used to wake up between 5 or 6 in the morning and I stay in bed late. I am severely depresssed because society created a monster. I am full of rage , anger hatred, revenge I know it is wrong but society did that to me with no reason. Nobody wants to listen to me only judge me. Why do you think I am extremely suicidal when I was taken to the hospital the reason was violent and homicidial which is crap I have never hurt physically anybody. This will not give any opportunities to work to make friends instead society created a monster and I cannot stop being violent against myself until my demands are met. And here there are:
I want a loving relationship
I want a job
I want a home'
I want friends
I need to be wanted and loved.

Without that the self destruction will not stop.

 

[Aurelia]

Well he said to call him back in 2 weeks and he'd give me a start date. I hope he doesn't change his mind by then. First month will be volunteer work but i don't care really as long as i'm getting experience at least and getting out of the house. And then I guess after a month, if I suck at my job, I'm getting fired. Or if I'm good enough, they'll start paying me. That's if this works out when I call him. So we'll see.

 

[Winslow]

Although life can get worrisome and very stressful at times, I still have to stay alive because the blessings I have are too precious to waste. They are not to be wasted and cannot be wasted. So I have to stay alive.

 

[corneredrat]

Doomscroooooling again. I am tired but can't really break the nasty cycle. I even use SF to doomscroll mindlessly. It's awful.

 

[Aurelia]

I wish I was dead. Not UNnaturally, but naturally. Just a normal natural death so I can go to heaven and be with God.

 

[TragicReality]

I think I need to take a break from here. I love everyone here, people are kind, but I'm feeling down. So if I can't help, there isn't much point. I'm not saying this site is bad, but I need to actually get up and be more positive about my life. I cant keep ruminating or seeing negativity. Don't take this wrong, I'm thankful for all the help I've gotten here and the support.

 

[zuzu]

I wish I was dead. Not UNnaturally, but naturally. Just a normal natural death so I can go to heaven and be with God.

I am in the same boat as you. There is to much suffering and I am exhausted to be alone, not have a sense of belonging. I want to leave this earth. <mod edit - method>

 

[full]

Even though most is peacful around, in my chest is pent up: Fuck this life!

 

[Dante]

Fine on the surface, but underneath kinda miserable. Just what happens when your fiance has to go abroad without you.

 

[full]

Fine on the surface, but underneath kinda miserable. Just what happens when your fiance has to go abroad without you.

Oh man thats hard

 

[Dante]

Oh man thats hard

Not really. Im complaining about spending a few weeks at most without the woman I love. Knowing full well that it is temporary and that she still loves me, and we even get to message each other. Compared to mental illness, depression and more, this just a bit of a downer.

 

[corneredrat]

I wish I was dead. Not UNnaturally, but naturally. Just a normal natural death so I can go to heaven and be with God.

Yep, exactly the kind of thoughts I have. Not sure about heaven though...

 

[Baywasp]

@Baywasp - Sorry to hear about that almost happening. I'm curious to know more about "what is going on" if you wanted to talk more about it (if not here then in a PM would be fine too, if you want) I hope you'll feel more like yourself soon though.

Thank you. I really appreciate it. I am just very stressed right now. It's coming to the end of a semester right now. I have a few big papers to do but I've been really stuck. Not sure what to write about for one, and I did start the other but have had no energy to do anything lately. Even when I mean to do work I'm usually just too tired. Working full-time and studying for my PhD full-time at the same time is really difficult and stressful. Luckily I have off school in the summer, but I'd definitely rather not have work than not have school. And I'm supposed to be figuring out who I want to be my dissertation chair, and I'm struggling with that too.
All this stress just has me really on edge.

 

[MisterBGone]

Well he said to call him back in 2 weeks and he'd give me a start date. I hope he doesn't change his mind by then. First month will be volunteer work but i don't care really as long as i'm getting experience at least and getting out of the house. And then I guess after a month, if I suck at my job, I'm getting fired. Or if I'm good enough, they'll start paying me. That's if this works out when I call him. So we'll see.

You can grow, and transform, quite a bit--in a month's time. Almost completely; or so it will seem, should everything work out & go as you please. So I wish you well with all of this. I'm guessing that mostly they'll be looking at, during this probationary period of sorts: whether or not they'd want to work with you (on a more permanent basis) - & how you do at the job (your competence, in other words). I wouldn't be worried about you, from my perspective or view - & that being, from the outside. I think you just need to relax, be natural, and it will all go quite well & be much easier than you could have ever imagined going in. And then if you do get the position, after a very short while, or time. You'll suddenly look around, at some random point, and think in that brief time, or instant & moment... "Wow? I can't believe I'd ever doubted myself. Look at how far I've come. And (that) this is so easy. I'm very comfortable in this role, and etc."

 

[MisterBGone]

I think I need to take a break from here. I love everyone here, people are kind, but I'm feeling down. So if I can't help, there isn't much point. I'm not saying this site is bad, but I need to actually get up and be more positive about my life. I cant keep ruminating or seeing negativity. Don't take this wrong, I'm thankful for all the help I've gotten here and the support.

Ok, no worries or need to fret -if you need a little break @toomuchreality ~*sometimes, it is "Just what the Dr. ordered!" However, just don't feel like it should have anything to do, with feeling guilty about not being able to help others, when you are feeling so down. Believe me, we all get it. And have been there ourselves (most of us). So, it's no big thing... All right?
Yes, it can be bad if the site is bringing you down (like as in reading all of these dreary posts all of the time). So sometimes, a little step away can help to re-energize (yourself), or recharge the batteries, so to speak~
We'll still be here, when you're ready to come back. If you do decide to step-away. So take care either way! : )

 

[Windhover]

I think I need to take a break from here. I love everyone here, people are kind, but I'm feeling down. So if I can't help, there isn't much point. I'm not saying this site is bad, but I need to actually get up and be more positive about my life. I cant keep ruminating or seeing negativity. Don't take this wrong, I'm thankful for all the help I've gotten here and the support.

I understand. I was contemplating this too.

 

[Atreides]

I felt sick earlier but I'm ok now.

 

[Windhover]

Thank you. I really appreciate it. I am just very stressed right now. It's coming to the end of a semester right now. I have a few big papers to do but I've been really stuck. Not sure what to write about for one, and I did start the other but have had no energy to do anything lately. Even when I mean to do work I'm usually just too tired. Working full-time and studying for my PhD full-time at the same time is really difficult and stressful. Luckily I have off school in the summer, but I'd definitely rather not have work than not have school. And I'm supposed to be figuring out who I want to be my dissertation chair, and I'm struggling with that too.
All this stress just has me really on edge.

I hoe that a creative idea (or several) come along out of the blue @Baywasp . Sorry you're tired.

 

[JMG]

Thank you. I really appreciate it. I am just very stressed right now. It's coming to the end of a semester right now. I have a few big papers to do but I've been really stuck. Not sure what to write about for one, and I did start the other but have had no energy to do anything lately. Even when I mean to do work I'm usually just too tired. Working full-time and studying for my PhD full-time at the same time is really difficult and stressful. Luckily I have off school in the summer, but I'd definitely rather not have work than not have school. And I'm supposed to be figuring out who I want to be my dissertation chair, and I'm struggling with that too.
All this stress just has me really on edge.

Aw, of course, you’re so welcome And I’m sorry to hear of all that stress you are feeling. Oh wow about working ft and also studying ft too, ya that would definitely be stressful I imagine.

That’s good you will have a break from school in the summer, and as for struggling with ideas for what to write about and lacking energy, I’m sure you already have done this but what I’d do if I was in the same situation is do google searches for both of those things and see what kind of info comes up.

I’m guessing there will be sites that have good advice about ways of generating ideas, and also of having more energy. One of the things I’ve heard and read about energy a lot over the years is that worrying sucks a lot of it away and increases fear and therefore stress. I know it is a hard thing to “stop” but those sites will most likely have far better suggestions than I could type here (plus it would make this reply even longer, lol) but ya the info is definitely out there.

I hope you will be feeling less stressed soon and also wish you the best of luck with those things you are working on. I have a good feeling that they are all gonna work out in the end and then it will all absolutely be worth it

 

[JMG]

How I’m feeling right now is:

- Still sick, and feeling a bit hopeless about not knowing “when I’ll be better”.

- A bit annoyed, and annoyed about being annoyed. Like…ugh…I have already witnessed enough of it now so I basically “know” not to expect much in terms of responsiveness. Makes me feel like a stupid fool who is just too caring. I really need to just not care at all.

- Mad at life for making me be so sick like this, like now of all times, seriously?! I’ve been doing my best to stay positive, strong, hopeful, understanding and patient, but those are all being majorly put to the test rn I must say.

- Disappointed, sad, worried and afraid. Would take way too long to type out all the reasons for those feelings, but ya, there’s lots of reasons for them anyway.