I’m feeling defeated. I’m trying this hard to survive, and for what? Will anyone even care if I’m still around, or will it just be that many more years of being criticized? I never tell my 3d friends and family much about what I’m going through. And I’m sure they care. The people who I need to impress, though, have 100 other people they could hire, so their question is why should they hire me? If I knew that, I would already have a new job. I feel like I’m tilting at windmills, and I would rather just go to sleep forever.