How Are You Feeling Right Now?

[1964dodge]

I'm worried; more than a bit concerned about my long term mental health.

 

[ClassicsFan]

Exhausted.

 

[Shinzon1]

I feel like I'm starting to finally digest some of the noise in my brain. I fortunately had the luck of not having to work assembly line so could get a reprieve from nails on chalkboard for 8 hours.

 

[Mid Night]

Frustrated. My partner was supposed to be having heart surgery on Friday but it's been postponed for the 2nd time. It's only for another 10 days but we were all geared up for Friday and had everything arranged. I had holiday booked at work so I could be around for him. It's such a stressful time and he's so poorly.

I am praying for the two of you Sunspots.

 

[AvidFan]

This is a terrible feeling which sneaks up and over me as well. 😕 I don't know how to get it to go away. I hope the anxiety gets knocked down and you can get feeling better AvidFan. Also I'm sorry you stepped on your reading glasses, and are worried about the eye doc visit. It's stressful when there are some appoinments that hust have to happen.

Thanks @seabird. It's really hard mentally to go from running 10-12 miles up big hills and getting up a head of steam/pace and feeling vibrant and alive, to feeling in pain and unable to get around like a normal human being, am terrified on the bus as the driver's have a habit of braking and accelerating sharply, so I have to be very careful and feel like an old person. I suppose I am. But 3 weeks ago I was a young and vibrant old person, now I feel decrepit and physically broken. I hope you can find a way to be less worried about your long term mental health. Sending you ❤️❤️❤️

 

[maybeicanheal]

Nervous.

I have an appointment today with a new therapist. I think I’m going to need to see her multiple times a week…like 3-4 times even. And I feel really bad about it, like I’m already taking up her time and like I shouldn’t need as much help as I do. I cannot bare when people are put out by me or worried about me, so I hide away.

 

[Lane]

Nervous.

I have an appointment today with a new therapist. I think I’m going to need to see her multiple times a week…like 3-4 times even. And I feel really bad about it, like I’m already taking up her time and like I shouldn’t need as much help as I do. I cannot bare when people are put out by me or worried about me, so I hide away.

Good luck with your appointment @maybeicanheal. I hope it's the start to healing. A therapist once told me that a counseling session is "just for you", a way to practice self-care.

 

[Windhover]

Uncomfortable, like crap. It was me who took myself away, after all, and when I scrape away my reasons for that, there's a caustic guilt. I should've been able to figure out how to save the relationship, how to use my kind of humour and my soft strength to change things for the better.

 

[Inastorm]

Uncomfortable, like crap. It was me who took myself away, after all, and when I scrape away my reasons for that, there's a caustic guilt. I should've been able to figure out how to save the relationship, how to use my kind of humour and my soft strength to change things for the better.

I think its unfair to lay this all on you. Has he reached out (nicely) to you since you left?

 

[cymbele]

Uncomfortable, like crap. It was me who took myself away, after all, and when I scrape away my reasons for that, there's a caustic guilt. I should've been able to figure out how to save the relationship, how to use my kind of humour and my soft strength to change things for the better.

Been there. I think I did the same but I realized later that he had as much hand in the relationship deteriorating as me. But I started the outward process while he had checked out of the relationship much before then. But the guilt like the pain does lesson over time. But you have to go through the process to get there.

 

[Windhover]

@cymbele thank you for the kind wisdom. It helps very much to hear from another person that the pain will lessen. At present, it feels as though there's 2 me's, one of whom is extremely sad and meseed up.

 

[Windhover]

I think its unfair to lay this all on you. Has he reached out (nicely) to you since you left?

I don't know if it is unfair, I can't get far enough away from it intellectually and emotionally to accurately judge it. Usually I can rely on my mind to chew through and kid of distill a situation in order to process it. Not this one. I have heard from him, yes.

 

[puffymilk]

Bored with life

 

[SillyOldBear]

Uncomfortable, like crap. It was me who took myself away, after all, and when I scrape away my reasons for that, there's a caustic guilt. I should've been able to figure out how to save the relationship, how to use my kind of humour and my soft strength to change things for the better.

You are putting too much blame on yourself. It takes TWO to maintain a relationship or to repair one. No matter what you did, if your ex did not want to change, did not want to make things better to allow relationship to continue then nothing you could do would repair it. It would have taken both of you.

 

[Windhover]

Thanks @seabird. It's really hard mentally to go from running 10-12 miles up big hills and getting up a head of steam/pace and feeling vibrant and alive, to feeling in pain and unable to get around like a normal human being, am terrified on the bus as the driver's have a habit of braking and accelerating sharply, so I have to be very careful and feel like an old person. I suppose I am. But 3 weeks ago I was a young and vibrant old person, now I feel decrepit and physically broken. I hope you can find a way to be less worried about your long term mental health. Sending you ❤️❤️❤️

I think riding on city buses is really hard. Stuffing oneself into the crowds, and contorting into seats along with the jerky movements of the vehicle. About as un-natural as possible especially when you're not feeling well. You're a runner still. I believe you'll get back to feeling less pain, feel strong and fresh. I had to let the running go when I had covid and am just starting to re-build. Sending good thoughts and 🩵 from another hurting runner.

 

[maybeicanheal]

You are putting too much blame on yourself. It takes TWO to maintain a relationship or to repair one. No matter what you did, if your ex did not want to change, did not want to make things better to allow relationship to continue then nothing you could do would repair it. It would have taken both of you.

I also needed to hear this today. Thank you.

 

[Windhover]

Has he reached out (nicely) to you since you left?

Not nicely at all. I just can't write here what he said, because it hurts too much, but it comes down to me being at fault.

 

[LumberJack]

I have been feeling emotionally reactive and physically drained. Per the professional I pay for this advice, some serious sludge from the past is ready to be metaphorically cleaned out. The good news is that I must be getting better, because the nervous system/body stores this stuff and lets it out when it feels the walking talking part can process it. The downside is that the body does not care when it's convenient, just when it's ready.

 

[cymbele]

I know I'm retiring within a year but I'm working with some younger engineers who are getting the type of experience I wish I had before or even now. It's hard not to feel some envy even though it's good that they get the experience because I won't use it after a year or so. But I wish I could learn and contribute more but I can't because I'm not trained in the software they are using. So I listen and let them work all the overtime hours (which they don't get paid for) and have fun and go home to my home projects.
But I'm still envious and I don't know why. I feel like I could've been a better engineer had I had the opportunities these guys have. Sigh.

 

[Inanimate]

Like a ticking time bomb gradually swelling with frustration and annoyance.