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How Are You Feeling Right Now?
- Thread starter UNREGISTERED0000
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Ok I guess. Been a bit of a weird day. Got up early, but felt like I'd actually slept a bit. My watch said otherwise - body battery as low as it can go, and zero charge all night - reading constant stress and heart rate overnight was up by 10bpm. Been pretty much like that all day, lying on sofa, feeling more relaxed than I have in a while, just watching stuff, and my watch hasn't indicated rest all day - from high stress to medium stress to lower stress, but no rest at all. Maybe my immune system is working overtime in the background or something. I'll keep on trying to relax!
I think it’s not an infection because it’s only in the upper part of my system. The electrolytes and hydration could very well be it. I’m trying to get better about it, but I don't feel thirst. I've tried setting a reminder on my phone that goes off every hour. Too easy to ignore. I set alarms to remind me to drink and eat throughout the day. Still too easy to ignore, and I forget to turn them off when I'm in meditation or some other place my phone should be quiet. It's called poor interoception - meaning I don't feel it when my body is thirsty. Today I have done better but it's still not enough. It's almost 5:00 PM and I have used the bathroom once. I have had an entire liter of water which is more than nothing, but it's so dry here that I'm losing that much through my skin. I just got an idea by writing this right now. Windows 11 has a built on Clock app that has "focus periods" that are basically Pomodoro timers. Pomodoro method is a time management tool designed for ADHDers but it has also caught on with the wider population. It's that we do best if we alternate between work and break on a constant rhythm, so repeating pattern of work for N minutes; break for M minutes for X repetitions and then take a longer break. If I can get myself up to take a break I can start to work drinking water into that. I definitely have no problem taking a break. It's a lot of struggle to come back, though.
It is mostly in jest because I do like and try to keep things on the lighter side. I do have some scars that can draw a bit of attention. They are on my head so other than a bag it is kind of hard to hide them.
I feel kind of terrible, but also kind of numb. I don’t think I’m a very good person. Not so much as good vs. evil, but rather as useful vs useless. I have dozens of interests and a few skills that I am very good at. At the same time, I have a real problem when I try to convert my abilities into something that someone else would pay for.
Also, I am just plain grumpy.
Also, I am just plain grumpy.
Grumpy happens!
It was explained to me that every human being out there (other than sociopaths and psychopaths) feel every emotion. There's a reason for that. And they are there to help protect and help us understand what we need to do and how we need to do it in a safe manor. It's up to us to figure out the reason for each emotion... for what we feel... and why we are feeling it.
That's the biggest obstacle we can face in my opinion.
It was explained to me that every human being out there (other than sociopaths and psychopaths) feel every emotion. There's a reason for that. And they are there to help protect and help us understand what we need to do and how we need to do it in a safe manor. It's up to us to figure out the reason for each emotion... for what we feel... and why we are feeling it.
That's the biggest obstacle we can face in my opinion.
Horrible. Managed to relax yesterday, and went to bed. Managed to go to sleep. I got about 20 minutes before some stupid car or bike loudly backfired right outside my window, so loud it cut through the white noise and my body interpreted it as someone smashing in through the window. Startled violently awake, struggled to get back to sleep all night. Now feel wired inside, exhausted but restless, my head feels totally fried.
Ive been thinking about lot about peace lately, specifically peace in one's life. Im really starting to value that and try to realize the red flag when something comes along to disrupt it. For me, some things in life are put in front of us to deal with and I do the best I can with that. But peace is an ultimate goal. Hope youre smiling a bit today @seabird
Feeling ok. Made it into the city to see the musical and that was great, creating memories with my niece. Ill be sorry when she leaves me to take on another nursing job.
The house is neat mainly bczmy daughter is away for 3 weeks to India on a yoga retreat. So there's that
Just going to relax this Sunday and switch over the Halloween decorations to Thanksgiving.
The house is neat mainly bczmy daughter is away for 3 weeks to India on a yoga retreat. So there's that
Just going to relax this Sunday and switch over the Halloween decorations to Thanksgiving.
I don’t know. I just don’t even know what state I am in. Neither geographically or emotionally. I know I feel anxious, like there’s some threat that’s hunting me down and I have no clue what direction it’s coming from. I feel like I have to guard myself in every direction, and that’s practically impossible. So I guess I’m tremendously afraid of what I don’t know. 
I agree. When I think about what does happiness mean to me I think that being at peace with myself is the most important thing. Ideally I would be at peace with what’s outside of my control, too. That’s not always possible, and when it is, I cannot be at peace with others when there’s a war going on inside me.
I’m all over the place. I was feeling better and then I noticed I was feeling better. I’m crazy, though, so that noticing seems to bring up demons that don’t want me to ever feel good. I keep using the word anxiety, and I think it’s the closest word, but I have felt different anxiety before. This is not like fear or anticipation of anything dreadful. It’s just my brain is going incredibly fast, and getting nowhere, like an engine revving up to the redline and it’s in neutral. I have a feeling that, just like a real engine, this will lead to overheating.
ok i guess but looking forward to the day i go home. will continue to fight to get better and make the best out of what i can because i figure since suicide isn't an option i may as well live the best i can. when i do go home between now and 30 yers from now i know i did my best and i can finally go home and rest
mike
mike
