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How Are You Feeling Right Now?

KM76710

Kangaroo Manager
SF Pro
SF Supporter
I’m crying so much; I just lost the cat who brought joy to the whole house. I haven’t slept at all, so I’m just crying, and I feel guilty for not being able to save him.
Very sad to hear of the loss of your cat, our pets do become our family members, companions and buddies and having those furry friends around are just as great a boon to any home as can be.
 

JanisSPK

Well-Known Member
Severely unwell and terrified. I managed to go into work yesterday but was exhausted. I got home, ate a bit, and went to bed at 8pm. I fell asleep immediately and woke up 14 minutes later. Stayed in bed till 9am this morning but only got a few more snatches of sleep. Don't feel any better - fatigue, nausea, etc. My guts are in turmoil. Not sure what is infection and what antibiotic side effects. Overnight I was peeing every 2 minutes. Now not peeing much at all. Trying to keep hydrating. I know I've got a uti but this feels like more is going on. My home dipstick was reassuring - until the last one wasn't. My worse fear of things getting worse on the weekend with doctor shut is coming to pass. I fear I will end up at the emergency room but don't even have the energy to decide whether to put that in motion. Overall I just feel horrible. For someone with health anxiety who monitors every symptom this is a perfect cluster fuck 😟
How are you? Did you get any medical intervention for what you described here? I hope you are doing better.
 

JanisSPK

Well-Known Member
Yeah i am causing problems here just hopefully not for long. I don't intend on hurting people here but seems my feelings are to much. I don't like when others are feeling depressed or hurt cause of my words of how im feeling. I wish I could hold it in but im in a bad spot where I cant function correctly or my mental state is out of control. It doesn't matter nomore cause im tired and worn out. Im going to try and hide my feelings from everyone for now on. Im stressing,be depressed, or i won't try and hurt myself again. Im gonna be perfectly fine. So anybody feeling depressed or suicidal think before you act. Is it really that bad were your going to be gone forever. It might be bad at that moment but give a few days and I can say you won't feel the same way. Everyone stay safe be careful and take of yourselves. *hug more people care bout you more than you know. If you think nobody does well SF does. Your not alone. *hug have a good night all
I hope your night is good tonight as well
 

LumberJack

Huggy Bear 🐻 u r warned!
SF Supporter
I’m really down. I’m obsessing over all my mistakes that have led to the disintegration of my career. It’s leading me to suspect that I’m entirely incompetent at adulting. I know it’s not that everything, everything is bad, it’s been more like constant moderate stress and fear that it will get worse no matter what I try to do about it.

I want to wave the proverbial white flag. Fuck it. I surrender. I failed at life. I lost, so what. Just get me tf out of the damn arena.
 

LumberJack

Huggy Bear 🐻 u r warned!
SF Supporter
My husband is trying to intimidate me into contacting him. He says it's about divorce papers. BS. You know my address. If you want to send divorce papers, I don't need to call you, message you, or see you. So if you truly want a divorce, send them using the proper channels and watch me sign those bitches quicker than you can blink because, trust me, I've wanted to. But if this so called urgent need to speak to me is about something else and you're just trying to manipulate me in some way (which I'd be willing to bet you are), you can kick rocks, because I'm not contacting you for a damned thing.
This is 100% correct. Legal documents need to go through the USPS at a minimum, and through a process server in some cases.

I’d bet a fortune that he’s behaving with manipulative intent. I doubt that I could find a taker for the opposite side of such a bet, though, so my net worth ain’t improving through this idea! The dead giveaway is what you already perceived. Either he’s pulling some kind of scam, or he’s not getting good legal advice. He’s full of shit in both cases.
 
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LumberJack

Huggy Bear 🐻 u r warned!
SF Supporter
Feeling better. It could be false hope but I don't think so, taking action helps.
I think we've dialogued about this before, but there is the Joan Baez quote about "action is the antidote to despair." Strangely, I have a hard time remembering this when I'm overwhelmed, though.

IMHO - I don't think it's false hope, though. Hope is just crossing your fingers and not doing anything even though the next roll of the dice might be a 7. Action, by contrast, may or may not work, but it has a much higher chance of success.
 

LumberJack

Huggy Bear 🐻 u r warned!
SF Supporter
I woke up this morning with really strong urges and internal imagery to destroy my body in gruesome ways. Wonder if it's kind of like the hurting part of me is reacting against my wanting to live self's desire not to leave a mess behind, emotional or physical, for others to clean up. I feel sad and I need a rest. I feel powerless and insignificant, therefore unsafe. Haven't done my meditation yet this morning. That's my best bet.
 

JanisSPK

Well-Known Member
I’m really down. I’m obsessing over all my mistakes that have led to the disintegration of my career. It’s leading me to suspect that I’m entirely incompetent at adulting. I know it’s not that everything, everything is bad, it’s been more like constant moderate stress and fear that it will get worse no matter what I try to do aboutd&8&.7.8@
DvS as hhhhhhhhhhhhhngffffd yyyyyyyyyyuiui my
I want to wave the proverbial white flag. Fuck it. I surrender. I failed at life. I lost, so what. Just get me tf out of the damn arena.
It's fricking hard being an adult....not many do it well or even "good". I think you are really good at showing up, sharing, and being honest....that says a lot to me. Hope you can take a break from your mind's thoughts occasionally......
Close to panicking again. Practising breathing to calm down. Despair keeps coming back around.
I hope things are lifting for you*hug
Strangely enough my chest was tight as if I was having a panic attack. Hasn’t happened in years but I took medication for it. Now I’m doing okay but wondering what caused the anxiety.
how are you doing now Cymbele?
 
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