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How Are You Feeling Right Now?

Aurelia

🔥 A Fire Inside 🔥
SF Supporter
Today is a beautiful day, indeed. God has blessed me, I am still here, and my heart feels like it's healing. I am not overly concerned with being single right now nor about not having many friends. I consider all of you here my friends. We may not know one another, but we know one another's thoughts, beliefs, and obstacles, and that brings us closer just as if we were face to face. I am happy with what I have accomplished so far, and now I need to move on to the next step and start working on my school paper and not forget my hygienic routine in the process. The Lord is with me and that makes my heart soar. I am not free of suffering and burdens, but I am working on accepting these things.
 

1964dodge

Has a monkey as a friend
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
I have no drill and lack the vehicle and money to go buy one. As any woman can tell you, walking into a hardware store and asking for smaller size screws when I don't even know how the size, is only going to make me feel worse. And there is no one to call. Hence my feeling alone. So, no its not that easy to fix when you are in my life.
i understand

mike.....*hug*shake
 

1964dodge

Has a monkey as a friend
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
I don't have a car. Besides idc what anyone says, it's different for women than for men. Women get treated like absolute morons in hardware stores and mechanics. We are patronized and talked down too like our little selves are just too fragile. Also why can't I just feel alone? I am alone, I would know this better than anyone because it's me and only me that's here.
i know how you feel about women being treated differentl sometimes. i once sent my wife to get an inspection sticker on my 1 year old truck because i was busy. they told her the truck needed over $500 worth of work and this was in 1988 so 500 bucks was a lot of money. i went back and after they looked at my truck which i bought brand new the year before they passed it no problem and i only had to pay $10 or $20 for the sticker. once i signalled my wife who was across the street we confronted him which he kept denying it. but if my wife wasn't smart enough they would have taken advantage of her. but only bad unenlightened men do that

mike....*hug*shake

mike....*hug*shake
 

1964dodge

Has a monkey as a friend
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
Kinda all over the place right now. Angry, manic, sad, self-pity, frustrated, undecided, wavering... (yes, many words mean the same per say... yet slightly different at the same time). i'm trying to decide if i should pull back further at work by reducing my hours further, turn in my resignation for my operations manager position and just return to a part time front desk person that can fill in anywhere else needed at the hotel, from housekeeping to breakfast and so on.
there are a lot of things to consider before making a final decision. financial, peace of mind, and career advancement to name a few. all you can do is list all of the pros and cons and make your best choice for you.

mike....*hug*shake
 

1964dodge

Has a monkey as a friend
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
It will seriously hurt financially speaking... however...


i absolutely LOVE my job and everyone i work with and for... i am just trying to faze myself out... it feels like it will be much better for everyone. i have been scatterbrained and mentally unavailable, as well as medically going downhill n just not functioning as i should be right now. It's just better all around.
*hug*shake
 

1964dodge

Has a monkey as a friend
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
I'm feeling better but have had an awful 24 hours. Yesterday I went to the dentist with my chipped tooth/filling and received an on the spot filling. All good, apart from no sleep as it was an early morning appointment. Anyway, pretty much as soon as I got back I was sitting working on my sofa when I had this sharp pain in my back. My immediate thought was I'd strained it getting up from the dentist chair or something, but it kind of went on through the day until I was feeling bloated and had pain breathing in round the front, I've had similar pains before which have been trapped wind, and doing various stretches and poses has helped, but in this case they turned out painful too. I do know people with such pains who've ended up being admitted urgently to hospital to have their gall bladder removed so I was mindful this could be the case. But I could get comfortable and had no problem walking to the supermarket to get some simethicone to try to help with the trapped gas. As it went past bedtime it was getting worse and worse, and my anxiety kicked in massively. I felt so alone, packing up a bag at 2 in the morning, trying to remember everything because I wouldn't really have anyone to fetch things from my house if I was admitted and starting to panic about having to cancel work, losing my income, and my house being targeted while I was away and losing my laptop etc. It's a scenario I've always dreaded. At the same time I was anxious about calling an ambulance or going to hospital to be treated like I was wasting their time with trapped gas. I figured I'd see how things went and see if the gas tablets did their work then try to get an appointment in the morning at the doctor's. I was still in quite a lot of pain until 3 or 4 am but then it started to fade and I was pain free if I curled up, and I kind of dozed, including through the window where the doctors will accept calls (you have to know you are going to need an urgent appointment at 8am, otherwise you are SOoL). I've woken up and the pain has subsided, and the bloating has moved from the right side to the left side so seems to be making its way through, but that was not a good night. I felt so helpless and alone. I tried the NHS 111 app but it said either call an ambulance or get a call back from a nurse, I kept that option open in case it got worse. I know the ambulance triage system was red lighting in case there was any chance of it being heart-related, which I knew it wasn't, so I didn't do that. These systems either triage you out bizarrely or prioritize urgent need (I once had a very light fall, bruised my eyebrow, called 111 and after 100 questions they said I should go to A&E immediately....when I got there I was asked why I was wasting their time as it was just a scratch!. Can't win with the NHS. My only options currently are to go to A&E (pointless as symptoms are 10% of what they were and I will come out worse than I go in with all the viruses in there) or book an appointment with the GP in a month. I've documented my issues with medical care elsewhere today, but it just seems rubbish. You're either dying or you're expected to wait a month. Or predict when you will be ill or dying on the offchance you can win the lottery of the 8am phone bingo, which I'm sure our illustrious prime minister said was changing as he was sending as all to pharmacies for urgent care or something. I can see the pharmacist loving me if I wander over in a bit!

So now I've just had 2 nights with no sleep and feel rough on top of whatever is going on with my guts, they are bubbling away so it seems to be gas, but boy it can hurt! (Thankfully the pain has subsided, maybe I had come gallbladder colic thing going on, I'll have to figure out how I can best use the NHS with the limited options available, as mentioned!)

I must admit there was a part of me that just wished it would kill me quickly and get it over with. 😢
i hope it goes away quickly and you can sleep well tonight

mike....*hug*shake
 

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