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How Are You Feeling Right Now?
- Thread starter UNREGISTERED0000
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i understandwhat you mean by meds having side effects and can cause you to be numb but not all do that. different meds work differently on different people. years ago my doctor prescribed Zoloft for my depression. it worked great, no more depression, and no more loving my family, no more anything absolutely no feelings. i talked to my doctor and he tried mirtazapine. it worked only on the depression and only side effect was vivid dreams. i'm still on it. so people should weigh carefully if they want to try meds or not, sometimes it takes a lot of trial and error
mike.....
mike.....
I'm having a hell of a time with rumination and repeatedly going over the past. I'm so angry about it, that I feel pretty bad because I've been angry for so long (coming up on 24 hrs straight) that it's physically exhausting. I can distract myself for a moment or two, and then it comes back, "They should have done X; should not have done Y!!!" ranting the same things over and over in my head. I write it down to try and get the thoughts out of my head but I have written the same screed I think 3 times now. I'm better for about an hour, and then, "OMG they hurt me so much!" Not exactly a pity party, more like a resentment party. Worst part is I blame myself for not knowing better, and I was not in a good frame of mind at the time I made the mistake, so it's complicated.
It brought up some old trauma memories and emotional experiences that I wasn't ready to deal with. Or, maybe I was and that's why the universe put me in that position? My therapist has said that our "stuff" comes up when the body thinks it's ready, not when I feel it fits into my schedule. But it's goddam hard and I'm bugging the hell out of my recovery friends because it's practically driving me to relapse.
It brought up some old trauma memories and emotional experiences that I wasn't ready to deal with. Or, maybe I was and that's why the universe put me in that position? My therapist has said that our "stuff" comes up when the body thinks it's ready, not when I feel it fits into my schedule. But it's goddam hard and I'm bugging the hell out of my recovery friends because it's practically driving me to relapse.
Hope you get well soon Mike 
Also feeling sick here too, started Thurs afternoon (11th) and today it has moved into another phase that I’m hoping is the “final phase” before I am hopefully better again. Hope you’ve been getting lots of rest, eating soup and drinking lots of tea and water too. That’s mostly what I’ve been doing since Thursday.
Also feeling sick here too, started Thurs afternoon (11th) and today it has moved into another phase that I’m hoping is the “final phase” before I am hopefully better again. Hope you’ve been getting lots of rest, eating soup and drinking lots of tea and water too. That’s mostly what I’ve been doing since Thursday.
It may sound stupid or like another 'empty' advice with no substance, but I think meditation would do good for you. Some basic one like watching your breath for 20 minutes allows you to disengage from the thoughts. It is important to know how to do it because the thoughts are nasty creatures. They absolutely refuse to go away when asked to and do the opposite - they come in more and more the more you don't want them. But if you learn to let them be on the background without engaging - they lose their power and leave. I didn't believe it myself, but it is true. Otherwise i would have kms back in the day when my intrusive thoughts first started.
Incidentally, I have practiced this technique for meditation daily for about 12 years. I recognize that it helps, but it’s not doing the whole job. I can disengage from the thoughts while on the cushion, but when I try to get back to work, they intrude again. I appreciate the input. I have some more elaborate practices that I could try.
Ah, understandable. Good to know!
The reason I'm saying that is because last month I had a biggest, most intense nervous breakdown ever that resulted in my < mod edit - violence >. On the next few days I felt utterly horrible. But then something occured to me - I was paying attention to the wrong thing. Started just sitting for an hour with myself relaxing my body and trying not to engage - choosing relaxation over anxiety. And on the same day I felt depressing thoughts weaken and the ability to enjoy things return a bit. Since then I no longer curl on my bed 12 hours a day cursing existence. I still want to die badly but I do it while being more or less productive though and those thoughts are just there but not what they used to be just a couple of weeks ago.
The reason I'm saying that is because last month I had a biggest, most intense nervous breakdown ever that resulted in my < mod edit - violence >. On the next few days I felt utterly horrible. But then something occured to me - I was paying attention to the wrong thing. Started just sitting for an hour with myself relaxing my body and trying not to engage - choosing relaxation over anxiety. And on the same day I felt depressing thoughts weaken and the ability to enjoy things return a bit. Since then I no longer curl on my bed 12 hours a day cursing existence. I still want to die badly but I do it while being more or less productive though and those thoughts are just there but not what they used to be just a couple of weeks ago.
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