How Are You Feeling Right Now?

[PrincessPure]

Spoiler

Life is so weird
So the people in my class, they have a group chat where they make fun of the people of my nation. They make fun of how we look, how we talk, act,basically everything.

It offended me for one good moment. But then again, werent the people of my own community also doing that toward other international students???
The world is so darn weird. These people may not be able to voice their opinions out loud because it is taboo,or its a crime,but honestly, shushing them will not change their opinion. Shocking to see how racist the world is in general and no amount of restrictions can stop what is going on in people's mind. What can i do i mean.... Disappointed but not surprised.

 

[Windhover]

dread and sadness has its knives and forks in me already

 

[Windhover]

Spoiler

Life is so weird
So the people in my class, they have a group chat where they make fun of the people of my nation. They make fun of how we look, how we talk, act,basically everything.

It offended me for one good moment. But then again, werent the people of my own community also doing that toward other international students???
The world is so darn weird. These people may not be able to voice their opinions out loud because it is taboo,or its a crime,but honestly, shushing them will not change their opinion. Shocking to see how racist the world is in general and no amount of restrictions can stop what is going on in people's mind. What can i do i mean.... Disappointed but not surprised.

stay safe

 

[1964dodge]

So sorry to hear how you feel. I often struggle with what friends have done to me, pretty much abandoning me. I just don't seem important to anyone. I'm sorry similar things have been your experience. This forum is one of my few positive ways of interacting with others but it's something. I keep deferring my self destruction urges to a vague point in the future and just try to live day by day, some days with more success than others.

I hope you can find a reason to keep going and I'm sorry it's so hard for you.

 

[1964dodge]

i fell behind trying to catch up

mike

 

[AvidFan]

dread and sadness has its knives and forks in me already

Sorry to hear that @seabird

 

[mosaic hearts]

I'm worried & scared. Yesterday, when I was coming home from work in the late evening, I was suddenly struck by very strong thoughts & urges/impulses to seriously hurt myself. As this was happening, a picture of the act appeared in my mind. Had I acted on what I was experiencing, I ☆☆☆Trigger Warning☆☆☆ wouldn't be here right now. It took all the strength I could muster to resist the sudden thoughts & urges/impulses. I found a place to sit down, did pursed-lip breathing to calm down & collected my thoughts. Once I was calm, I was able to get home. I arrived home very shaken but safe. I see my new therapist this Friday. I want to tell him about what happened to me, but I'm frightened about his reaction. I'm also ashamed. Today, I'm safe but worried. This is an escalation of what's going on with me.

 

[LumberJack]

dread and sadness has its knives and forks in me already

Oh no. I’m so sorry you’re feeling bad. Is it something that might happen in the future? Or something else? Or if you are like me, maybe feeling awful for no discernible reasons?

Please be safe.

 

[LumberJack]

i fell behind trying to catch up

mike

Dang. Happens to me too.

 

[Livelife]

I'm worried & scared. Yesterday, when I was coming home from work in the late evening, I was suddenly struck by very strong thoughts & urges/impulses to seriously hurt myself. As this was happening, a picture of the act appeared in my mind. Had I acted on what I was experiencing, I ☆☆☆Trigger Warning☆☆☆ wouldn't be here right now. It took all the strength I could muster to resist the sudden thoughts & urges/impulses. I found a place to sit down, did pursed-lip breathing to calm down & collected my thoughts. Once I was calm, I was able to get home. I arrived home very shaken but safe. I see my new therapist this Friday. I want to tell him about what happened to me, but I'm frightened about his reaction. I'm also ashamed. Today, I'm safe but worried. This is an escalation of what's going on with me.

I'm glad you feel you are safe today and so glad you resisted all of that yesterday. I hope your new therapist will be a good match for you.

 

[LumberJack]

Feeling okay today, which is the best I’ve felt in at least two weeks, probably more. I don’t know why. The only thing I did differently yesterday was I had a swollen foot and leg on my left side. Usually that’s dehydration with me, and I have hardly hydrated at all since last Thursday. So I took some aggressive steps to rehydrate.

Darned if I don’t feel 10x better today. I’m trying to keep up with hydration and move around more to prevent the edema from coming back. I’ve decided to eat more water containing fruits and vegetables because I don’t feel thirsty at all even when I have gone the whole day without water. Who knows, maybe it’s dehydration, but I sort of doubt that.

 

[LumberJack]

I'm worried & scared. Yesterday, when I was coming home from work in the late evening, I was suddenly struck by very strong thoughts & urges/impulses to seriously hurt myself. As this was happening, a picture of the act appeared in my mind. Had I acted on what I was experiencing, I ☆☆☆Trigger Warning☆☆☆ wouldn't be here right now. It took all the strength I could muster to resist the sudden thoughts & urges/impulses. I found a place to sit down, did pursed-lip breathing to calm down & collected my thoughts. Once I was calm, I was able to get home. I arrived home very shaken but safe. I see my new therapist this Friday. I want to tell him about what happened to me, but I'm frightened about his reaction. I'm also ashamed. Today, I'm safe but worried. This is an escalation of what's going on with me.

I’m glad you were able to use your skills to self-regulate. I would say that is a factor in your ability to calm down, which in turn is helping keep you safe.

As for telling mental health professionals- and this is a stat by state thing, but generally you will get involuntary 72 hour hold if you discuss plans to harm yourself or others. If you mention suicidal ideation, but make it clear that you do not have intent, then it is more of a gray area which would involve the judgment of the provider. Stating that you don’t have access to means goes a long way to keep you from getting put on a hold. I hope that helps.

TL;DR - if you do discuss this with your therapist, be careful to make it clear that you don’t intend to hurt yourself or anyone else. Expressing a specific plan will most likely result in an involuntary hospitalization.

 

[Windhover]

Oh no. I’m so sorry you’re feeling bad. Is it something that might happen in the future? Or something else? Or if you are like me, maybe feeling awful for no discernible reasons?

Please be safe.

It's something coming in the future which I thought I was okay with, and then blam, not. Yeah I can't even find the why's and wherefore's at the moment.

I'm glad you said that, in your other post, about hyddration and moving around, because I'm taking it as a reminder to do that too. Glad you're better, I hope your feeling better stays and builds a good flexible base.

 

[SillyOldBear]

descending or slipping sideways

dread and sadness has its knives and forks in me already

Sending hugs.

 

[Windhover]

Sending hugs.

those are the best Thank You : )

hugs back

 

[KM76710]

Poorly. Wish i could tell someone.
But also like I'm taking up way too much space.

Take as much space as you want or need, that is what it and we are here for, express all that you care to with us.

 

[FlamingoWrangler]

i think we need a group hug…
on 3
1
2
3!


we really are better together. 💗
we can do this. 💪

 

[Aurelia]

I made the decision to switch from Suboxone to the Sublocade injection starting next month. Which means they will inject me 6 times, once per month, and then I'll be off the medication completely 7 months from now. They give you 300mg the first two months, then 100mg the next 4 months and then you get off of it completely. So I will no longer have any control over when I take my meds starting next month.

 

[Bergerac]

Alone, tired, anxious. Just had enough.

 

[mosaic hearts]

I'm glad you feel you are safe today and so glad you resisted all of that yesterday. I hope your new therapist will be a good match for you.

I've seen him once. He inadvertently triggered me last week. Will talk about that & how I'm feeling & what I'm experiencing when I see him. I'm his first DID client with an organized ab*se history but he's willing to learn. Thank you for caring about me.